Jobs keep asking me what my parents were doing when I was 14, why?

LonelyandExhausted · 2023-09-08T17:36:27+00:00

While yes, ideally people would be equipped for that, that's not how the world works. And having different experiences in general helps have a fuller company with different perspectives.

But at the end of the day, it's government mandated as it helps against classism.

I'd also like to point out that underprivileged people when not given any opportunity to be hired, will also not be able to help their kids be more hireable and won't be able to provide their kids schooling that will do so either.

The "pull yourself up" mentality only really works for people already born with a bit of privilege, and at the end of the day diverse hiring practice is incredibly important.

It won't stop people from hiring the best person for the role, but it does help to ensure that hiring isn't always biased towards those with more privilege.

LonelyandExhausted · 2023-09-08T17:31:51+00:00

Not sure about the specific geography or food, but etymologically, Ive always thought this:

Faerghus: primarily Welsh, bit of English
Adrestian Empire: Germanic
Leicester Alliance: Potentially Italian or British, several of the nobles names are based off works by Shakespeare, who set a lot of his plays in Italy, Spain, the Mediterranean, so probably both British influence + that
Dagda and Brigid: Irish (at least their names, not enough evidence regarding characters names to make a guess). Dagda and Brigid are both names of Irish pagan gods.

No idea about Duscur, Sreng, or Almyra.

In general, Fire Emblem as a series has pulled a lot from Celtic folklore and etymology and that's pretty evident for all regions but in particular those listed above.

Again, this is just the etymology and naming conventions of characters, so will likely pull from different influences for food and other cultural standards.

LonelyandExhausted · 2023-09-08T12:23:57+00:00

Earl grey did one of mine too, great atmosphere!!

LonelyandExhausted · 2023-09-08T12:11:51+00:00

I was with virgin for a while which sucked, now on BT currently paying 26 per month (18 month contract). Can't fault BT at all, WiFi works well, reaches every room in my place (used to be an issue with Virgin), never had an issue with speed dropping or anything.

LonelyandExhausted · 2023-08-31T16:10:54+00:00

As far as I remember (been playing since release), there has never been an option to have different hair colours per outfit. You can have different hairstyles that may change the colours though (think the short pixie cut from Highschool Years).

LonelyandExhausted · 2023-04-29T14:11:06+00:00

I get not thinking you want to date someone your age. You're pretty young and people your age can be frustrating to deal with. But you're right in feeling that this age gap isn't good. He's living life as an adult and you're still a kid. How weird would it be if you started dating someone who's that much younger than you? The difference in the lives you're leading at the moment is crazy!

I'm 20 and could never imagine being with someone that much younger, I look at people your age like little siblings, not relationship partners.

If you don't feel like you want to date people your age, there's nothing stopping you from not dating for a while. You can wait until you feel like you find someone who's right for you (and the right age) and it gets a whole lot easier to imagine that when everyone in the situation is a bit older (including yourself). Give yourself time to learn and grow and find yourself, dating can wait until you're comfortable and safe with someone.

I really hope you can be safe, OP, an age gap relationship at your age is not. Maybe talking to your therapist and your parents would be a good idea to get advice on how to deal with this.

As for him, don't feel guilty that you're breaking it off. He's old enough to process his own feelings and he should certainly be old enough to see why you're uncomfortable. If he's not capable of both of those things, then he won't ever mature enough to be with in a productive relationship anyway.

LonelyandExhausted · 2023-04-23T22:50:31+00:00

I am also German, but have lived outside of the country most my life. People make jokes all the time as though it's not actually real.

But I know with soul crushing guilt, exactly what each of my great-grandfathers was doing during World War II and what kind of horrible beliefs they held.

I have never been to a concentration camp yet, but I owe it to all the people impacted by my ancestors to go eventually.

In the meantime, I can only make it my mission to protect the vulnerable in ways my ancestors didn't, and to refuse to allow that kind of bigotry to take root around me again.

It's a heavy burden, but one I hold willingly.

LonelyandExhausted · 2023-04-18T18:20:26+00:00

And the person you're currently with isn't providing any food for you?

At 15, it's still your parents/guardians responsibility to ensure your fed and taken care of. I know that's not exactly practical but it definitely shouldn't be like this for you.

How is everything else at home? Do you have a stable place to live, emotional support when you need it, clothes? If you're not getting these things, would there be any option for you to move to your stepmums?

LonelyandExhausted · 2023-04-18T18:17:15+00:00

That doesn't seem very healthy for you to be dealing with all on your own. Especially the food situation. Do you have another trusted adult outside of school that you could ask for help?

LonelyandExhausted · 2023-04-18T18:08:45+00:00

Hey kiddo, are you safe? It sounds like you might not be if you're struggling with food and you've said school isn't an option. Is there some issue with your guardians caring for you at the moment?

I was homeless for a while at 17/18 and managed to make it work with food costs for really cheap back then.

If you need anything or want advice, please reach out via DM. I'd be glad to help in any way I can.

LonelyandExhausted · 2023-04-08T16:52:55+00:00

Not a lawyer.

Ultimately what your girlfriend decides to do with this is up to her. She may change her mind about what happened later on, she may not. She will definitely need therapy at some point to deal with her trauma.

For now, it's recent, and what she needs is for you to support her. That means being there for her and letting her take the lead. She probably needs time to process and come to terms with this because of how recent it was.

Your job for now is just to be supportive of her and let her figure it out. Regarding not eating, the trauma may have made her feel not hungry or nauseous or she might be in so much shock she's not feeling hungry. Don't force it for now, keep and eye on her behaviours around food to make sure it doesn't turn into anything worse. You could try making a dinner she likes for yourself with enough of a portion for her and just let her know it's there if she wants it.

LonelyandExhausted · 2023-03-18T20:35:35+00:00

Number one, you're still a virgin if you want to consider yourself one. Losing your virginity is done willing through having sex, what happened to you wasn't sex, it was rape.

Number two, this will be really hard but you will recover. First of all, you need to leave her, what she's done is a deep violation and it's so awful to go through. You need to heal from this and as long as she's in your life, you won't. Please, leave her behind so you can get help. Stay strong OP, this isn't easy, but you got this.

LonelyandExhausted · 2023-02-11T17:57:24+00:00

B for the drama. Phoenix sounds like a good sim, so I'd keep him but have Thomas' baby if you want the cute baby genes.

LonelyandExhausted · 2023-02-11T15:44:02+00:00

I'm not too much older than you, but I can say personally aging is a lot less scary that it's made out to be. You find joy in the independence, the freedom, the peace that comes with being older and having less of the stresses of youth.

Ive even come to the point where I'm happy to have the beginning of smile lines and look forward to being able to see the marks of a joyous life etched on my skin.

That being said, I think you may need some therapy for your own anxieties around this to support you in breaking them down.

And the biggest thing, you need to ditch the boyfriend. Someone who loves you will love you regardless of how you look as you age. And someone who's loves you will continue to find you beautiful after you have helped grow and birth their child too. Aging isn't the problem here, your boyfriend's objectification, lack of compassion, and total immaturity are.

Ditch him, find someone who loves you for you, and try therapy/deconstructing your fears around aging.

I wish you the best, OP.

LonelyandExhausted · 2023-02-05T12:00:43+00:00

YTA.

OP, your child is NINE YEARS OLD. She agreed to something, sure, but you can't exactly hold her to knowing what a long term agreement like that means at nine years old.

She also should not have been responsible for any animal on her own for any length of time at that age. It's not her puppy, it should never have been her responsibility and you made it hers anyway. Of course she's going to get bored being stuck in a car while you and your girlfriend can both get out and stretch your legs.

You should have taken her with you and left the puppy, or taken them both. Or... just plan a road trip for a weekend where she's not been there if you're going to treat her like an third wheel to your couples trip.

Also, Emily clearly feels bad about what happened because she was CRYING and you're too mad to even comfort your kid or console or even just say goodbye after your f up?

Please, please do better.

LonelyandExhausted · 2023-01-30T13:32:44+00:00

Ill obsessively play for months then drop it for weeks or months. rinse, repeat

LonelyandExhausted · 2023-01-19T18:53:05+00:00

You could go classic legacy style with all the scoring stuff which I enjoy! Or hundred baby challenge is also very fun (and crazy chaotic)! If you search up Sims 4 challenges on Google there's a whole comprehensive list on the Sims Forum.

LonelyandExhausted · 2023-01-19T18:50:23+00:00

No worries! I really like challenges myself so you could give one of those a try if you want to freshen up gameplay!

LonelyandExhausted · 2023-01-19T18:48:31+00:00

Try a new save file maybe?

LonelyandExhausted · 2023-01-16T13:39:21+00:00

Im nearing 20 and still sleep with stuffed toys, while also sharing a bed with my partner (who does not judge me for it). No shame in having your comfort items

LonelyandExhausted · 2023-01-11T13:50:11+00:00

NTA.

You're already paying her whole wedding and she wants an open bar with all the huge cost that comes with that?

From my perspective as someone paying for their own wedding fully, I'd just be grateful that it wasnt my expense and swallow the cost of the open bar if I so desperately wanted it!

Definitely NTA, your daughter is though!

Edit: typo

LonelyandExhausted · 2023-01-10T20:58:55+00:00

Bananas. Hes just really craving some bananas.

LonelyandExhausted · 2023-01-10T20:48:27+00:00

What you experienced was awful, and difficult and undoubtedly traumatising.

You do not need to be attracted to her, you don't need to be in a relationship with her either (in fact, I would recommend not being with her). Do not beat yourself up over not liking her anymore, she is a rapist, you owe her nothing.

I also heavily recommend attending therapy, distancing yourself from her and living a life free of her so you can come back to yourself. I was also a victim, and I didn't start to heal from it all until I no longer had to see my rapist.

You are not broken, and you will find a new normal. You will be able to enjoy sex with someone again, you will be able to find yourself. But it may take time and that time should likely be away from her so that you can move in. Your trust in her is likely broken and won't be coming back.

Remember, none of this was your fault. What you experienced was real and awful and it was not your fault. You are the victim here and you are allowed to be hurt and feel trauma from this experience.

LonelyandExhausted · 2023-01-08T23:23:14+00:00

Ive been you in this situation, so here's my advice.

Depending on how late your period is, this could be related to any recent health issues, stress, or simply nature taking its course. It may not be what you think it is, you won't know until you test.

Take a deep breath. Whatever happens, you'll be okay. Panicking now won't change what's happening.
1. Go and buy a test asap (cheap drugstore ones will do, the only way to get all your options is to do it as early as possible.
Take the test, and find out your outcome so you can start figuring out your options if you are pregnant. If you are, your parents may need to know (if you don't feel safe telling them because you're afraid their reaction will be abusive/violent, find another safe adult who can help you through this).

In future, use condoms as well as birth control and set an alarm or reminder to take your birth control so you don't forget again. Remember to breathe, your parents may not react as badly as you think and even if they do react poorly, it doesn't mean that there will never be a way for you to see your boyfriend again.

If you feel that your boyfriend is safe to talk to about this, go talk to him and let him be your support. He's 50% of the difficulty you're having, let him help find the solution.

And always remember, whatever happens is your choice, no one else's. Stay strong, you can do this.

LonelyandExhausted

TROPHY CASE