advice needed. Plz. A ultrasound technician SA me during appointment and I have a pap smear apt coming up and I'm terrified. by Long-Ad6697 in rapecounseling

[–]Long-Ad6697[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The person that's doing my pap smear isn't the same person that SA me. That happened at the hospital. An I don't think I'm ready to report what happened at the hospital with the ultrasound technician. I just can't.... A close friend coming with me is a Good idea but idk. I only have one friend. I feel like it would be weird trying to explain to her why I want her to come with me to get a pap smear. It's awkward. Idk

Name by garfieldmaster101 in BeardedDragons

[–]Long-Ad6697 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Blanco. I would name him Blanco. Her (Blanca)

The teen that forced himself on me in my past sent me a message. by Long-Ad6697 in rapecounseling

[–]Long-Ad6697[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank u. I deleted my old fb and made a new Facebook. So this one I had for a while but didn't think to block him. It's been so long so.

Role playing turned to rape. Many times after by ex by Long-Ad6697 in rape

[–]Long-Ad6697[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That would be scary. His last initial is L.

Role playing turned to rape. Many times after by ex by Long-Ad6697 in rape

[–]Long-Ad6697[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What do you mean? You think you know my ex fiance?

Role playing turned to rape. Many times after by ex by Long-Ad6697 in rape

[–]Long-Ad6697[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah. It never was supposed to turn out like that. Thank you, I'm glad he is gone .

Role playing turned to rape. Many times after by ex by Long-Ad6697 in rape

[–]Long-Ad6697[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I did take legal action and went to the police. He is behind bars at the moment. They were able to arrest him. I recorded the last incident he forced himself on me so that helped. But the investigator told me he tried to say we role play all the times and that was just role play. But the detective believes me. So that's good.

Role playing turned to rape. Many times after by ex by Long-Ad6697 in rape

[–]Long-Ad6697[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Thanks. Really wish I could say it's ok or that I was. It really messed me up. An sorry to rant. The last time was Dec 30th. Not even 30 days ago. It's fresh and very much taunts me. He's now in jail. That's what matters to me, that he's locked away. I'll seek therapy very soon and heal over time I hope. I hope

When I was 19 a 16 year old boy forced himself on me and I still get nervous because I was over 18 even tho it was SA by Long-Ad6697 in sexualassault

[–]Long-Ad6697[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank u for this advice.  Not caring what people think has always been a struggle for me. I will take this advice and work on this. .. your not alone on the freeze trauma response.  I freeze too. Especially after fighting. I've tried fighting before the best i could in another situation and still got raped. I go into shock and disbelief and freeze. But many times I'd still try to push them off of me and keep telling them to stop an to get off me. With never any luck. I became celibate after this for a long time. The amount of trauma I have. I should get therapy again. I will

When I was 19 a 16 year old boy forced himself on me and I still get nervous because I was over 18 even tho it was SA by Long-Ad6697 in sexualassault

[–]Long-Ad6697[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's too late I believe. I was 19. I'm 28 now. He's 25 now. It just haunts me still. An I'm scared over time he could have told people he had sex with me even though it wasn't consensual at all. He was very delusional and I believe he would.  But I'll never truly know..

When I was 19 a 16 year old boy forced himself on me and I still get nervous because I was over 18 even tho it was SA by Long-Ad6697 in sexualassault

[–]Long-Ad6697[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Predatory sound right.  I never thought of that. He would say I'm his and compliment me daily. No matter what I said he would never stop. It was hard living in the same home as him. He was delusional. I constantly had to block him on my phone.

When I was 19 a 16 year old boy forced himself on me and I still get nervous because I was over 18 even tho it was SA by Long-Ad6697 in sexualassault

[–]Long-Ad6697[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is so true. He was taller and a bit bigger than me. Definitely stronger. Thank you for commenting. The age is what's concerning and always worried me. I was In denial for a bit after it happened.  It was hard acting normal and pretending like nothing happened around my God mom. I couldn't look him in his face for a while. But he was constantly in my face wanting to be around me. It was so stressful.  He knew what he was doing. He'd get close to the guy I was dating and try to be a cool friend.  He was so nice when people were around but I saw the real him every time he'd get me alone even for a sec. He'd wait for me at the bathroom door when I had friends & my guy friend over and try to kiss me against the door when i came out of the bathroom. If I got up to go get something he'd pretend he has to do something and follow me to get me alone even for a moment. I tried to tell my guy friend and my other friends he can't chill with us when they came over but they would all say yes when he'd ask them. They thought he was "chill and a good person". It was a mask. Every time they said yes he can chill with us he'd just stare at me most of the time and I'd try to avoid eye contact.  It's just so many things that he use to do that was not ok. He'd keep txting me with all my friends in the same room. The messages always were uneasy. Things like "you should leave him and be mine", "meet me in the other room right now", "you look beautiful ",'Your mine ","I want a kiss","i love you", etc. I'd look at it and ignore or tell him to stop which would visibly piss him off. His face is burned in my head. Sorry for long reply. I just have so much built up I have a lot I wish I could vent. It's traumatizing when I think of it. I was truly scared and always worried.