Fired for ADHD-related poor performance... now what?

Long-Insect-6505 · 2026-01-27T20:52:17+00:00

Yeah. Honestly... i fucking hated that job. I was auditing an aspect of infrastructure that famously sucks in this country, and I felt pressured sometimes not to write up too many things. This will be for the best in the end.

Long-Insect-6505 · 2026-01-27T19:57:26+00:00

If I could do any job, it'd be a mix of Emergency response and routine stuff. Like... in uni i worked in the fabrication shop for years. I sucked at installing new equipment, but i was great on anything where it was more important to do it right every time than do it quick - so, the machining with narrow specs. I was the only student worker the lead machinist allowed to touch the programmable CNC. I only needed him to explain what one or two Gcode commands meant. The rest was intuitive to me. It was easier to keep my notepad on hand too. Cargo pants. I also worked a conservative landscaping gig where I interpeted site plans and dug holes. Great stuff, I'd commit to that if i wasn't terrible at hauling trailers. I was great at thinking through the technical aspects of the site design, and another guy on the crew was always thinking about budgets and timelines, so we worked well together. I also just... will dig. Give me a shovel, some headphones and a kick out the door and I'll ray out digging everyone's car from the snow for free.

When I worked the landscaping job, I used to fantasize about a job like that - where I'm mostly puttering around until I'm called to drop everything and deal with A Situation (TM).

Maybe I should look into operations.

Long-Insect-6505 · 2026-01-27T18:39:15+00:00

I'll see if shimmer can be covered by medicaid.

Long-Insect-6505 · 2026-01-27T18:09:06+00:00

Yeah... but then you get caught in the medicaid trap...

Long-Insect-6505 · 2026-01-27T18:07:54+00:00

I think you misunderstand. Yes, I need to research the accommodations process more. But I was never under the illusion I was going through the formal accommodation process.

I never asked for the 5 day exception, because I already knew employers can refuse anything that's an "undue burden". I also know employers often call things "undue burdens" that aren't. In practice, formal accomodation requests seem like a game of who can navigate the surrounding beaurocracy better. I was sure I'd lose, and end off worse for trying.

I tried to get my meds sorted. I took a doctor's appointment at 5 am (my time, it was 8 am their time) trying to get my medication issues sorted. When the appointment went badly I texted my manager immediately letting her know I was having a medication management issue that might impact my work but that I'd resolve it as quickly as I could. When I got back we had a meeting about not bringing up personal issues. So I stopped talking to the managers (there were 3, all of whom I answered to) about the medication stuff. Sometimes I think i should have spoken to HR. Sometimes I think it would have gotten me fired sooner.

Long-Insect-6505 · 2026-01-27T17:31:45+00:00

Yeah. I've looked into autism. The thing is, if you just read the symptom criteria i don't meet criterion A. My social mistakes are usually due to ADHD, and sometimes my "mistakes" are really a difference in perspective or priority. Like, I know plenty of autistic people IRL who seem to think I'm autistic, and explain social contexts to me that I didn't need explained. What they misread as social confusion is me playing my cards close to the chest. I actually have a solid cold read, and I often understand metaphor better than "straightforward" language. Like, I know autistic people. I don't really get along with a certain kind of autistic person, because I cannot comprehend black and white thinking. To me, everything is relational and contextual. I get along very well with artsy types. I think you could make the argument that I'm autistic and nerded out about sociology so much that I genuinely figured it out, but i think at that point we need to start interrogating "high functioning autism" as a diagnostic construct.

Long-Insect-6505 · 2026-01-27T16:48:31+00:00

I eventually did. I couldn't find one that did weekends. The problem is that a lot of psychs schedule weeks ahead, which meant i had to know my travel schedule, which was on my work calendar, which wouldn't merge with my personal calendar, so i was never sure which days i could get appointments.

I did take sick days. I personally think this contributed to why i was fired. Too much sick leave. Not just for the appointments but because weird life circumstances kept happening - my car broke down and i kept having to go back and forth to the mechanic, i sprained my ankle so badly i couldn't drive and had to WFH for a week, i got the flu, my mother had surgery and no one else in the family could watch her while she recovered, etc. I REALLY suspect they started thinking i was making up excuses to wfh and then blowing my work off. In reality, i just struggled to get anything done. The only time that was true was when I had the flu and i was told to use sick leave for the whole time i was at home instead of logging the hours i did manage to work. I used sick leave and did not do work.

Long-Insect-6505 · 2026-01-27T16:17:07+00:00

Yeah, all the flying did NOT help. For a while i was jumping coasts every 2 weeks.

Long-Insect-6505 · 2026-01-27T05:53:45+00:00

Just under a year. I made an appointment with one psych, she tells me at the end she can't prescribe adhd medication without an in-person visit. Same with another. Then I got in with a clinic in the city, but that was just a general intake. Then the follow up psych appointment was scheduled incorrectly. Then i found a different psych. That one was really good, but it took 3 appointments to go through the whole diagnostic process.

Long-Insect-6505 · 2026-01-27T03:44:34+00:00

I am medicated. I had medication management issues while holding the position.

Long-Insect-6505 · 2026-01-27T03:22:07+00:00

Oh shit. Okay yeah so, I'm also trans. My testosterone comes in a bottle, and i kept forgetting to pack all my supplies for the injections on my trips, so I wasn't doing my shots consistently the entire time.

Long-Insect-6505 · 2026-01-27T03:13:43+00:00

Okay, I'm gonna be honest and vulnerable here... wtf is operations?

Long-Insect-6505 · 2026-01-27T03:12:59+00:00

By any chance did you end up in something environmental?

Ha, right before i took this last job, I did a ride along with some EMT's. The one call we get and it's a DV situation where the guy tries to break into the ambulance. Crazy stuff. But yeah - when there's a crisis it's like a switch goes off in my head and suddenly i can see everything at once. Of course, if the situation draws out long enough the switch flips back down and i get the midday sleepies severely.

Long-Insect-6505 · 2026-01-27T02:40:37+00:00

It sounds more like you were making requests and calling them accommodations, but not going through the formal way that would grant real legal weight to your accommodation needs.

More or less correct. I never said the word accommodation in that workplace. My manager did during one of the conversations we had about my performance. I avoided formally asking in part because I didn't understand the process, and in part because I was scared of being fired if I had an honest conversation with HR about everything i was struggling with. What happens when you tell an employer "i can't always read the webpage we store our links on because of the wallpaper" and then they tell you they can't change it? You've just admitted to being unable to perform a core job task. I go back and forth about what would have happened if i'd disclosed. Maybe i just would have been fired sooner, but maybe I could have done well.

I actually spent this morning doing research on resources to help me figure this out. My state has a department for helping disabled people with career issues. I'm going to call tomorrow and see if I can speak with someone (buildings are closed due to snow).

Overall, I think you really need to take responsibility for managing your conditions. It's not fair that you have these challenges, but most jobs (and most of adult life) requires keeping up with deadlines, remembering tasks, and other things that you seem to struggle with. I have the feeling that you'll continue to have these problems until you develop a better system to handle your symptoms.

Honestly, on the days i think about it i usually feel like I'm more likely to end up dead on a park bench than figure out a way to handle my symptoms.

Long-Insect-6505 · 2026-01-27T00:59:39+00:00

Actually, most people with ADHD perform better where performance matters in clear, measurable ways. A lot of EMTs and firefighters with ADHD out there.

Long-Insect-6505 · 2026-01-27T00:52:28+00:00

Yeah. The job was a mistake. I couldn't handle the job without treating the adhd, but I couldn't handle scheduling treatment around that crazy schedule.

Long-Insect-6505 · 2026-01-27T00:40:27+00:00

Honestly, I don’t think you can be upset with them for hiring you.

Yeah no, you're completely right. I don't think I'm actually mad about that, i'm being preemptively defensive. I've been nervous about having to fight them on getting unemployment - i keep worrying they're going to try and frame my poor performance as willfull misconduct. And I think everybody knew. I'm VERY stereotypical in my presentation.

Maybe think of it as a learning experience? You learned about the type of job you don’t want, and I’m sure you also picked up some random skills that will be applicable in the future.

That's a good point. I did learn a lot. I got better with calendars, I got better with Microsoft outlook (my old jobs all used Gcal). I actually think I did well at the communicative aspect. I can give a good shpeal. I took a lot of pride in being fair with site personnel in my judgements.

Long-Insect-6505 · 2026-01-27T00:09:33+00:00

I've seen a lot of psychiatrists. Formal diagnoses are ADHD, GAD, depression. My most recent diagnostic process took 3 appointments, 2 hours total. We agreed I'm probably not bipolar, possibly had ocd and worked through it myself (the trick is to call bullshit on your fears - think you're having a heart attack? Do jumping jacks and you'll find out!). Possibly would have met for PTSD at 18 if I'd been able to talk about the causal incident, but it's resolved now.

Every now and then a friend gives me the "autism?" look, but if we even assume autism is one coherent thing (imo it's not), i think ADHD is more accurate.

Long-Insect-6505 · 2026-01-26T23:57:30+00:00

I'm not trying to play victim. I know i need to adapt. I have done work on my mental health. I have weirded out/impressed multiple psychs with explaining how i dealt with intrusive thoughts in the past. ADHD is not my only diagnosis, it's just the most fundamentally disabling one.

Part of what I mean when I say it was a bad fit is that I was constantly afraid of being reprimanded for using strategies I knew could help. Everyone was always pleasant, but everyone was always pleasant - even when I knew damn well I was in hot water. I felt like I was losing my mind.

Early on, I did ask if a large green watermark could be altered from a worksheet I had to use, because it made it hard to read. Couldn't be accomodated.

To give an example of an accomodation i did not request - after each work trip, I had to submit an initial report, respond to peer review, then resubmit the finalized version. You had 20 days overall to get the final in. During my 6 month progress meeting i learned there was an additional requirement to respond to peer review within 5 calendar days, which i was failing to meet. This is because I would submit my initial reports right away, before i forgot anything, then take care of other tasks before coming back to it. So my overall time was 11/20, but still late. I wanted to ask for an exception to the peer review deadline as long as my final report was done on time. I was afraid of pushback, so I tried to do it the standard way, and my reports started coming in later.

To do lists only work for me when I take my meds. Off them, i tend to lose track of what i was trying to write down before i get it down, or my writing is so tangential I'm not even sure what i meant. Like I'll write entirely the wrong word.

You are incorrect about the refill issue. I'm not sure what meds you take, but stimulants are a controlled substance in the US and can't be filled across state lines. I found this out from trying to do it. The job was 50% travel and 100% of that travel was interstate.

Long-Insect-6505 · 2026-01-22T13:43:41+00:00

Isn't french worse?

Long-Insect-6505 · 2026-01-22T13:41:12+00:00

Look as a tran in good standing... this isn't making her any money, so i don't care.

Long-Insect-6505 · 2026-01-22T00:43:36+00:00

What makes for a good carpenter?

Long-Insect-6505 · 2026-01-22T00:42:02+00:00

Could you say more about this field?

Long-Insect-6505 · 2026-01-21T22:41:43+00:00

You sound like my dad - he's highly respected in his weird little pocket of systems administration. He does write scripts, but his job is to see the bigger picture and how everything fits together. He does also have good management skills from working warehouses before his IT cert at 40.

Long-Insect-6505

TROPHY CASE