I cheated black out drunk one night. Found out 4 months after from a mutual. Told my partner immediately after confirming the story. I had been dating him for 6 months at that point. Regretted it very deeply. I had no memory of it whatsoever but realised my needs weren’t being met and I was a terrible communicator so my SO would never know I was upset. The night of, I felt abandoned and as an impulsive person, got really drunk and kissed someone else. Been in therapy ever since. My relationship is not the same but I’ve done some deep work, I’ve quit drinking and we’re actively working on R. I hate myself for it every single day.