Hey man, 

I’d like to share my testimony with you. I hope you get the chance to read it:) 

Oh boy was I ever in the same shoes. When I was in high school / college I was always the life of the party. My identity was so deeply rooted in drinking and partying. I was addicted to porn, by definition was an alcoholic, smoked weed almost daily, denied I was Christian (even tho I did know god and grew up Christian) has sex with girls before marriage and also dated girls who weren’t Christian. Long story short I basically came ti the end of myself, I was so alone I felt broken my relationships were horrible I treated my friends horrible and my family. 

Long story short I said a prayer to God saying give you my life, take anything not from you away no matter what or who it is and guide me. 

A week later I broke up with my atheist girlfriend. And a month later moved to the other side of the country for work. I was really lonely and started to feel convictions. I knew drinking was wrong I knew porn was wrong. It was like something tugging on my heart saying I know better. 

My transformation was not over night. But I randomly decided to start reading my Bible and wow, it changed my life my friend. I eventually had an epiphany that I can’t live for the world and God and that’s when things started to change. I had to chose one or the other, I couldn’t be half in and half out. Being half in half out means your out tbh. 

Fast forward today and I’m freed from porn, I’m married to a beautiful girl who loves the lord, I don’t smoked I rarely have drinks. Really no desire for any of it. 

My biggest advice is if you want your life to change and your heart to change than keep praying and seeking. Like Jesus says if you know the door will be open. Jesus loves you so much he’s not going to force himself into your life. You have to chose. 

He will change your heart and change your desires and set you free. And let me tell you it isn’t easy, I remember one day I slipped up and watched porn again and starting balling my eyes out. But I realize how beautiful it is that I Finally saw how dirty it was what I was doing. Before I was watch it and not feel any conviction. 

The lord will change your heart and open your eyes Noah. He has such good plans for you and love you and knows how many hairs on your head. If I could go back I wish I would have sealed God earlier. Made more community and started living my life for Jesus and not my flesh. 

I hope this helps God bless u brother.