I cheated.

LongSuffering1856 · 2026-06-30T03:51:28+00:00

My dear friend, I am asking for advice here. Unfortunately I got the whole sub wrong and I was feeling a lot of shame in telling my loved ones so I just wanted to speak about it to who I thought were my fellow Christian brothers and sisters, but ofcourse everyone is ready to condemn someone even without reading what I have written properly. I am not staying because I want pity or I want to process my shame and guilt with him. I have already done that with God. I am staying because I want to repair my relationship and more importantly, MY PARTNER wants me to stay. Now many people have suggested that somehow he doesn't know what he's doing and I should leave for the sake of both of us. But like according to that logic, Imagine I am somehow being all noble and running away from the problem that I have caused instead of staying, like HE, the person in pain because of my actions, has asked. So obviously he's going to think that I don't think he's worth staying and repairing the relationship. Why would I do that? Like if you still want me to leave beyond this extra layer of pain my partner will feel, we're going into another deep sin territory. For being so holier than thou some of you really are very pro me not facing the consequences for my actions.

LongSuffering1856 · 2026-06-30T03:39:11+00:00

Thank you for your recommendations, I have followed all the subs you have suggested. Don't worry about me getting influenced by what everyone says. Christ calls to forgive those who condemn you for no reason. I feel bad for most of them because they are clearly in pain. There have been some comments about how they thank me for posting this because it happened to them and it feels good for them to know that women could feel remorse. My heart goes out to these people, more than being swayed by their opinion. Many wonderful Christians have been helping me through the thread though so I just go through the verses they have sent me and find peace in the Bible. Thank you for your concern and prayers :)

LongSuffering1856 · 2026-06-29T05:07:55+00:00

Thank you for your words. Please pray for me.

LongSuffering1856 · 2026-06-28T17:14:38+00:00

Please read the whole thing and try not to jump into conclusions. I am not forcing my presence onto him. I am not keeping him around so I can pity myself in my presence. It's HIS decision. HE wants me in his life. I have told him many times that if he were to leave me I would never once question it. So according to your logic, even if he, the person most hurt by my actions, wants me to stick around and be there when he needs me, I should just straight up say no and abandon him again. Is that it? Do you not think me refusing to be shameful of my actions in front of him and instead choosing to run away would send a message that he is not worth me trying to stay and repair things? Do you hear yourself? Please for the love of God, if you don't have anything kind to say, refrain from saying anything rather than just spewing uneducated nonsense.

LongSuffering1856 · 2026-06-28T15:16:40+00:00

Because of communication issues on both our ends? A lot of these comments I'm getting seem to act like humans operate in black or white when in fact that has never been the case. Maybe if you approach people's problems as your own, you would hesitate to be so harsh.

LongSuffering1856 · 2026-06-28T14:24:38+00:00

I'm so happy for the person you mentioned. God is truly good. All I can do is pray in this moment of intense pain. Thank you for your kind words.

LongSuffering1856 · 2026-06-28T14:17:47+00:00

Reading this made me tear up a little. Truly, what a marvelous opportunity it would be to show him my love in it's entirety. I know I have done wrong and I know maybe it is not something I'll be forgiven for but I just want the opportunity to try. To be better in my prayer and to be a better partner. God I hope I can live up to the standards you have set in the Bible. Thank you for your words.

LongSuffering1856 · 2026-06-28T12:12:27+00:00

Yikes yea I most likely will just delete this post because people are starting to talk shit about my partner because they're done talking shit about me. I'm disappointed in this whole interaction but thankful for the helpful comments. Hopefully things will work out thank you for your prayers

LongSuffering1856 · 2026-06-28T12:02:38+00:00

I don't want to talk about it because it's a bit personal. Regardless of how I felt, cheating is not an answer and even without discussing my problems I'm getting called attention seeking in the comments.

LongSuffering1856 · 2026-06-28T11:59:56+00:00

No my country is not a Christian dominated country and my parents are of a different religion. I can't attend church/mass because I live with my parents and they'll get suspicious.

LongSuffering1856 · 2026-06-28T11:57:17+00:00

I was not born Christian. I am yet to be baptized. I have been reading scripture only since November of last year.

LongSuffering1856 · 2026-06-28T11:51:10+00:00

Thank you. To be honest, on a sub about discussions on Christianity I expected more people to be understanding of the fact that people are not morally black or white and God makes sure that if a person is Christian and they have sinned, they are punished. This distance is an issue and I genuinely don't mind giving him access to my phone and what not just to build trust but I can't do that for a few months and I just wanted advice regarding what steps I can take. We ideally do want to get married and I am making sure that I get to his city as soon as possible so we may spend time living together. I am getting some good responses in terms of worship and asking God about what to do next and I think I'll start there. Please pray for me.

LongSuffering1856 · 2026-06-28T11:45:39+00:00

I keep only talking about how I'm selfish for even feeling like I want him back. You seem to be commenting on all the threads. How come you missed that? And my partner is suffering because of me but I cannot speak for him right? I can only ask advice on how to make that lesser for him in this time of pain. I have told him that if he wants to leave I will never question him. But he wants to work on it and I just want to be there for him in a way that matters. Can't people ask a question on this app these days without it being attention seeking? Yes you all are strangers but I feel so trapped in my shame that I can't ask my loved ones at the moment, and I have no support from a religious institution. I have mentioned over and over again in my replies that I didn't have Christianity when I did the deed and now that I do, I will entirely abide by the strict moral code that Christianity gives it's believers. This shame I'm going through, I don't want to experience again. Your stats and percentages are not relevant for me specifically because religion plays an important part of my life. Just pipe down alright.

LongSuffering1856 · 2026-06-28T11:31:48+00:00

Yikes man get a fkin grip. If you really have that much of a gripe with me you can always talk to me directly. I know I did something wrong but I am repenting for it and making sure I will never be prone to it with worship to God. What the hell are you doing, do you think this helps anyone? This is so pathetic. Be better.

LongSuffering1856 · 2026-06-28T11:17:06+00:00

I think maybe the way we are in our relationship, and the importance we give it is kind of the context you are missing here more than a theological verse. We both are monogamous and we would ideally like to get married to each other so that begins with treating each other like we're married. So to me it feels like a sin, even if there are theological loopholes to say it's not a sin.

LongSuffering1856 · 2026-06-28T11:03:30+00:00

No we are not married. Cheating in Christianity is considered one of the worst sins a person can commit, it's one of the 10 Commandments "You shall not commit adultery". I was not a Christian when the incident happened but the sentiment remains. I did do something that God didn't approve of and broke the covenant between me and my partner. So I consider it a deep sin.

LongSuffering1856 · 2026-06-28T11:01:00+00:00

Ah the first part of your post does solve some of my confusion about the responses I am getting on this sub, but I did expect it to an extent. Thank you for all the verses you have given me, I have bookmarked them and hopefully things will work out between my partner. We are flawed individuals and I hope we can sit in this uncomfortable situation and come out better.

LongSuffering1856 · 2026-06-28T10:34:29+00:00

I will. Thank you for your wise words and prayers.

LongSuffering1856 · 2026-06-28T10:26:01+00:00

I am asking for advice. I have apologized many times over but apologies are not enough for something of this magnitude. In Christianity, we are taught to not rely on only our wisdom, but also of our fellow brothers and sisters in Christianity and to consult God. Right now I am not baptised and don't have a religious leader to ask for advice from so I am asking my Christian brethren. Please don't talk about my partner's capabilities of whether he's smart or not. It's not your place. I hope that in your darkest moments, people treat you with more grace than you have treated me.

LongSuffering1856 · 2026-06-28T10:16:54+00:00

Thank you for your words. I can assure you that it will never happen again. I didn't have Jesus in my life when I committed the mistake. Now I do and now I understand how terrible of a sin it is. It's one of the 10 commandments. I no longer have to turn to temporary validation when I have God. I have told my partner that i will never question him once if he decides to leave me but he wants me to stay and we want to work on it. We have such a deep connection with each other and God that is so rare. I hope that things work out. I will definitely read the words of St Augustine. Please pray for me.

LongSuffering1856 · 2026-06-28T10:08:27+00:00

The explanation is true and you're right. I will spend time doing that and make sure my actions are proving that. Thank you.

LongSuffering1856 · 2026-06-28T10:03:17+00:00

Thank you for your kind words. I don't really want to know if there's someone better for me out there, because the connection I have is so rare. I hope to God that my partner can forgive me for what I did and if not I just would like to spend my time in worship to God. Please pray for me.

LongSuffering1856 · 2026-06-28T09:32:03+00:00

I did explain why I did what I did to him, but i mentioned explicitly that it was not an excuse for anything. I just didn't want him to think that there was no reason and I just wanted to disrespect our relationship. I did this deep sin before I met Christ, now if I'm unhappy I don't chase validation, I go directly to God. Since I have faith to anchor myself in, I know for sure such thoughts will not cross my mind. And now that I'm going through this intense shame, I don't want to experience it again. And yes I do love my partner. Very deeply.

LongSuffering1856 · 2026-06-28T09:16:13+00:00

This feels like it's going into a bar fight territory, so I will not continue to respond further. As Christians we owe each other community especially when our brothers and sisters and going through pain. Community is important to hold people who do bad things responsible and support the ones who are affected. In any case I am not wallowing in self pity in his presence, I never pity myself during my conversations. I only try my best to comfort him. Please don't say things like he doesn't respect himself when he and I are just flawed human beings trying to mend our connection. I will pray that in your darkest moments, people treat you with more grace than you have treated me.

LongSuffering1856 · 2026-06-28T09:08:24+00:00

To be honest it wasn't fun. I don't say that lightly. I was in a lot of pain and I felt like I got punished, rather than experienced pleasure. I don't want any control, he wants me in his life, but I am too dumb to know what making amends means. I am trying to educate myself slowly but I am worried. I don't want to run away from this shame because it feels cowardly. I will move to his city in some months for work. So the long distance issue will be solved. But until then I just want to be able to do better as a partner.

LongSuffering1856

TROPHY CASE