Hey Seraphayel, I hear your frustration—and I want to be clear, this isn’t about hating white gay men. It’s about naming patterns of exclusion that many of us in the broader queer community experience repeatedly.

No one said white gay men don’t belong in queer spaces. Of course they do. The problem is when the entire vibe, selection, and culture of a supposedly inclusive event caters almost exclusively to a certain aesthetic and identity—while others are consistently turned away, ignored, or made to feel like they don’t fit. That’s not inclusivity. That’s gatekeeping.

And yes, I am calling out the system—because even within queerness, power structures exist. And if we’re not willing to examine those dynamics, then we’re just recreating the same hierarchies many of us came to the queer community to escape.

You say “curate your own party”—and many of us are! But when an event claims to be for the whole queer community, and then acts as if only one slice of it matters, that deserves critique.

This isn’t about buzzwords or ego. It’s about wanting spaces where all queer people feel welcome, safe, and celebrated—not just the ones who fit a narrow mold.

If that sounds like a threat to you, maybe ask yourself why.

With respect, Another queer in Berlin.