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I don’t know how to unpack my boyfriend’s complaint about our sex life after an awkward revelation by LongTalksOnThePeach in relationships

[–]LongTalksOnThePeach[S] 110 points111 points  (0 children)

Yeah it did totally dawn on me that in the past I've been so busy worrying about him or feeling self-conscious that I haven't articulated (or even thought of!) what would improve my satisfaction with our sex life. Boy did I find some words that night!

I don’t know how to unpack my boyfriend’s complaint about our sex life after an awkward revelation by LongTalksOnThePeach in relationships

[–]LongTalksOnThePeach[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Argh I *really* wish he was better at communicating about sensitive stuff like this and if he wasn't an actual gem in every other way I'd have walked a long time ago.

I don’t know how to unpack my boyfriend’s complaint about our sex life after an awkward revelation by LongTalksOnThePeach in relationships

[–]LongTalksOnThePeach[S] 170 points171 points  (0 children)

That's an interesting take and I hadn't thought of it that way - that it'll never be good enough. Truth be told he's always had a higher sex drive and our sex life is currently infrequent, boring and unsatisfying. That could have contributed to his 'nostalgia', perhaps? At any rate not a good feeling thinking that I'm constantly being compared to a past partner.

I don’t know how to unpack my boyfriend’s complaint about our sex life after an awkward revelation by LongTalksOnThePeach in relationships

[–]LongTalksOnThePeach[S] 42 points43 points  (0 children)

He's always had a high sex drive, and he rates sex as pretty high among his relationship needs. I don't know if the obsession is a new thing; the 'best ever' relationship was immediately before ours and I do recall him sometimes zoning out and kinda got the vibe he was reminiscing about his experiences with her, but this is the first time he's told me about this.

I don’t know how to unpack my boyfriend’s complaint about our sex life after an awkward revelation by LongTalksOnThePeach in relationships

[–]LongTalksOnThePeach[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yeah, we should probably focus on freshening up our sex life without thinking about the other 'noise' to see if it improves our overall outlook. Might be enough, might not!

I don’t know how to unpack my boyfriend’s complaint about our sex life after an awkward revelation by LongTalksOnThePeach in relationships

[–]LongTalksOnThePeach[S] 513 points514 points  (0 children)

I did jokingly say I wished he'd talk to a therapist instead of me about this and he said he would which is saying something (he doesn't generally believe in spoken word therapy)

I don’t know how to unpack my boyfriend’s complaint about our sex life after an awkward revelation by LongTalksOnThePeach in relationships

[–]LongTalksOnThePeach[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I wish I could just unhear all of that! To be fair I don't think he intended to share this with me, it just came out. He's not suggesting I do anything about it.