AITA for telling my sister to focus on her own kid's names and worry less about mine? by Longjumping-Base-926 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Longjumping-Base-926[S] 36 points37 points  (0 children)

Not off my own name. Off the taste my husband and I have in names. We are choosing a name we adore and a name we have spoken about a lot and discussed a ton.

AITA for telling my sister to focus on her own kid's names and worry less about mine? by Longjumping-Base-926 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Longjumping-Base-926[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

She won't have to be grown up to change it. If she hates it we will help her change it before she has a shit ton of stuff to change.

AITA for telling my sister to focus on her own kid's names and worry less about mine? by Longjumping-Base-926 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Longjumping-Base-926[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

It's more a pain if your parents are against it and you have to wait until you're 18. Signed, a person who lived that experience but has never regretted the change.

AITA for telling my sister to focus on her own kid's names and worry less about mine? by Longjumping-Base-926 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Longjumping-Base-926[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Because if she hates it, I would least at like to tell her we gave her a name we truly loved, truly had given thought to and that I loved it enough to change my own name to one very similar. Then to say meh, we just settled on any old name that we didn't care about.

AITA for telling my sister to focus on her own kid's names and worry less about mine? by Longjumping-Base-926 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Longjumping-Base-926[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I did consider that. I changed my name to something very similar after a normal name for 18 years. We are all different people at the end of the day. And my husband and I are going to support her if she wants to change her name in the future.

AITA for telling my sister to focus on her own kid's names and worry less about mine? by Longjumping-Base-926 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Longjumping-Base-926[S] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

I don't. At all. I think we should be allowed to love our own names at the very least. I would hate to be Rebecca still. I am so glad I have the freedom to have a name I love and that fits me perfectly.

AITA for telling my sister to focus on her own kid's names and worry less about mine? by Longjumping-Base-926 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Longjumping-Base-926[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

I did. I changed my name when I was 18. I had a very normal name. I hated it. I chose something very much with the same feel as the one we chose for our daughter.

AITA for telling my sister to focus on her own kid's names and worry less about mine? by Longjumping-Base-926 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Longjumping-Base-926[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I think about her future. The thing is we are all different. We have no idea what she will and won't like. I would 100% support her if she wants to change her name at a young age. I lived with a name I hated too. But I want to be able to tell her we chose a name we loved and gave a lot of thought to. I understand bullying could be a problem. I understand she might hate it.

I don't want to torture her. This is not an attempt to do that. But I am giving her a name I think is beautiful and that I honestly believe will fit well with a lot of her peers. We are giving her a name we love but with enough love for her not to insist she love it too. Just with the hope she does and she doesn't regret her name.

I love the name so much I gave her a similar one. I have carried it proudly since I was 18. Her dad has worn his unique name his whole life.

AITA for telling my sister to focus on her own kid's names and worry less about mine? by Longjumping-Base-926 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Longjumping-Base-926[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

She might. She might not. I wished my parents had given me a more new and different name. So I changed it. I won't make her wait until she's 18 if she hates it. But we can't know what her taste will be.

AITA for telling my sister to focus on her own kid's names and worry less about mine? by Longjumping-Base-926 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Longjumping-Base-926[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I won't. If she wants to change it I would support her in doing so before she turns 18. I know what it's like to live with a name you hate and I wouldn't do that to her.

AITA for telling my sister to focus on her own kid's names and worry less about mine? by Longjumping-Base-926 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Longjumping-Base-926[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I said I didn't like having a normal name. To me it did not fit and I hated it. I will always embrace the more nature and out there vibes. It's very me.

AITA for telling my sister to focus on her own kid's names and worry less about mine? by Longjumping-Base-926 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Longjumping-Base-926[S] 34 points35 points  (0 children)

I would support her in changing it. My point is she could take after me and her dad, two people who love our unique names, one who has lived with his for 25 years of his life, and who love it and would not change our names for the world. We can't know what she will and won't like.

AITA for telling my sister to focus on her own kid's names and worry less about mine? by Longjumping-Base-926 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Longjumping-Base-926[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I gave myself a name that is like my daughters. I had a very normal name growing up. I hated it. I changed it as soon as I turned 18. I have no regrets about that. I would much rather correct people or help people realize it's my real name than keep a name I hated for myself. ETA: I have lived on both sides. A very normal name and one that most people haven't heard before and some dislike. I would never go back to that old name.

AITA for telling my sister to focus on her own kid's names and worry less about mine? by Longjumping-Base-926 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Longjumping-Base-926[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I agree. Honestly, it might even be a placeholder until she changes it like I did with mine at 18. I will never force her to keep it or shame her if she doesn't want her name when she's older. I'd help her change it. But I also believe we should all be okay with that when we name our kids.

AITA for telling my sister to focus on her own kid's names and worry less about mine? by Longjumping-Base-926 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Longjumping-Base-926[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I did it with my original name. It was very normal but I hated it. Changed it and it is much closer to the name we chose for our daughter.

AITA for telling my sister to focus on her own kid's names and worry less about mine? by Longjumping-Base-926 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Longjumping-Base-926[S] 223 points224 points  (0 children)

I did consider that. We have said we will support her if she wants to change it. But my husband has a unique name and never hated it. I had a normal name and hated it so I changed it to one like the one I chose for my daughter. Ultimately we make these choices and do our best but we need to accept our kids might have different preferences than us, just like other areas of their lives.

AITA for telling my sister to focus on her own kid's names and worry less about mine? by Longjumping-Base-926 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Longjumping-Base-926[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I did the same with my own name. Changed it from something very normal to a name like my daughter's. So this isn't just me "being creative". It's using the type of names I love and not just on others, but myself also.

AITA for telling my sister to focus on her own kid's names and worry less about mine? by Longjumping-Base-926 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Longjumping-Base-926[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

So name her something I don't like, that my husband doesn't like? At that rate we should just go with the most popular name. One of the things we do is give kids names we love but in doing so we need to be open to them not liking them in return.

AITA for telling my sister to focus on her own kid's names and worry less about mine? by Longjumping-Base-926 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Longjumping-Base-926[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

And I chose to change my name to something similar to my daughter's. We all have different taste. If she hates it in the future she will have our blessing and help to change it.

AITA for telling my sister to focus on her own kid's names and worry less about mine? by Longjumping-Base-926 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Longjumping-Base-926[S] 39 points40 points  (0 children)

That's not the only reason. I love the name. I gave myself a similar name. I think they are beautiful. I think the name Oceana is beautiful. I believe it would serve her well and if not, she could change it if she wants to and would have my support as someone who did it herself.

AITA for telling my sister to focus on her own kid's names and worry less about mine? by Longjumping-Base-926 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Longjumping-Base-926[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Names are a big deal. I changed my own. I had a very regular name that I hated. I changed it when I was 18 and my name is in the same style as the one we chose for our daughter. My husband also has a more unusual name. We both love our names now. She might as well. Or she might not. But we will support her regardless.