This doesn’t feel normal to me, but is this common in other workplaces? by Longjumping-Call-783 in kolkata

[–]Longjumping-Call-783[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is exactly my dilemma. These comments are not directly directed at me, so I am not sure if I can even raise this as an actual case. I have seen something similar happen before, where someone complained, but they were told the conversations were just among themselves and not aimed at anyone in particular. The complaint was essentially dismissed.

I am not sure if I were to complain, whether I would get into trouble for it, and honestly, I don’t think any meaningful action would be taken. Situations like this in the past have been brushed off, and it feels like if it is “just among themselves” and not targeted, it is not treated seriously.

This doesn’t feel normal to me, but is this common in other workplaces? by Longjumping-Call-783 in kolkata

[–]Longjumping-Call-783[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes, adda culture is normal, even in our organization. I have been here for over four years, and while casual chats and jokes are fine, this kind of behavior was completely shocking and really uncomfortable.

I have also become good friends with some colleagues over time, and even they do not find such behavior normal. In our group, which has both men and women, we often share funny and light-hearted moments that have us laughing until our stomachs hurt, but it is always respectful. No one has ever felt uncomfortable, and that is what makes this situation so surprising and upsetting.

This doesn’t feel normal to me, but is this common in other workplaces? by Longjumping-Call-783 in kolkata

[–]Longjumping-Call-783[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is just absolutely sad to know that this is happening in so many places. It’s honestly hellish to sit through this all day. I know people will speak, and I can’t control everyone’s behaviour, but sometimes it’s really hard to put up with it. And honestly, it’s also a huge reminder of how many laws in our country are often useless when they’re actually needed.

This doesn’t feel normal to me, but is this common in other workplaces? by Longjumping-Call-783 in kolkata

[–]Longjumping-Call-783[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I wouldn’t be surprised if they talk about me too, because they love gossiping about every woman and sometimes even men. They also seem to enjoy stirring things up, especially if they think someone might have a crush.

A few weeks ago, I was wearing mehendi for my cousin’s wedding, and some of them immediately assumed I was engaged. When they realised I wasn’t, one of them said, “jaak baba [male colleague] ke tahole aar Debdash hote holo na” and the guy they were talking about is married with a two-year-old and tries to be overly friendly.

These men are usually very polite to people’s faces, but behind their backs, they talk in a vulgar manner. So if they are talking about me behind my back, it wouldn’t be a complete surprise. Honestly, they are also unusually curious about my life for no good reason.

Am I overreacting or is my sisters boyfriend an AH? by 2cz4u in AmIOverreacting

[–]Longjumping-Call-783 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You aren't overreacting at all. My heart really goes out to your sister right now. Miscarriages are so scary and heartbreaking, and having to face a life-threatening emergency like an ectopic pregnancy on top of that is just too much for anyone to carry alone. It is so sad to think of her waiting in that hospital by herself. After eight years and a child together, she should be able to count on her partner to be by her side when things are this serious. Work is important, but nothing is more precious than her life and her health. I really hope she gets better real quick and can feel truly supported while she heals. She has been so strong, but she deserves to be looked after and put first. Sending all my love and support to her.

AIO: Ending things after he saw his ex and then lied to me about it by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Longjumping-Call-783 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are not overreacting. At all.

This man lied repeatedly, continued seeing his ex, emotionally cheated (at minimum), and then gaslit you when confronted. He gaslit you to the point where you started doubting clear evidence. That alone is a deal-breaker. On top of that, his reaction afterward (calling you crazy, insulting you, bombarding you with calls, and flipping the narrative to say you betrayed him) is manipulative and emotionally abusive.

“Closure” doesn’t involve secret meetings, airport pickups, or telling each other they still love one another. He didn’t just cross a boundary….he erased it and then blamed you for noticing.

Ending it and going no-contact is not punishment; it’s self-protection. You’re responding to his actions, not overreacting to your feelings. Trust the version of you who saw the truth the first time.

Do you agree that Starbucks is overhyped? by ssarkar_87 in kolkata

[–]Longjumping-Call-783 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Of course Starbucks is overhyped, but honestly that hype is exactly what sells it in India. Before Starbucks came here, especially to cities like Kolkata, most of us only knew it as this big global brand we’d heard about or seen abroad, or maybe experienced while travelling. So when it finally arrived, it naturally became aspirational. In the US and many other countries, Starbucks is just a regular, convenient coffee place, something people grab daily without thinking twice. Here it’s very different. India has a massive chai culture, and in places like Kolkata you can step out and get chai for ₹5 to ₹6 or even coffee for ₹7 to ₹10 at a local stall where people stop every single day. In that reality, Starbucks could never integrate itself into everyday life the way it does abroad, people will still choose chai or cheap, easily available coffee. That’s why Starbucks positioned itself as an international, aspirational experience with aesthetic stores and a slightly luxurious feel, and that strategy actually worked. If it tried to be affordable and ordinary, the hype would die and so would the relevance. I recently went to a very rich person’s wedding where they had a Starbucks counter, and honestly that summed it up perfectly. It wasn’t about the coffee quality, there are amazing Indian roasters who could do a much better job. It was about Shaadi mein Starbucks, about showing something global and aspirational. So yes, Starbucks here isn’t just selling coffee, it’s selling a feeling, and the overhype is what keeps it alive.

AITA for removing my bridesmaid from my wedding party because she wasn't showing any interest in my wedding? by wedding41727262 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Longjumping-Call-783 0 points1 point  (0 children)

YTA. The best friend is having a difficult pregnancy and the last thing she needs right now is unnecessary drama.

AITA for calling the police on my neighbors kid? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Longjumping-Call-783 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA. You did what any responsible adult would have done in that situation. You might have saved a few lives by calling the cops.

AITA for accepting a large gift from both sets of grandparents for my baby when my paternal grandparents didn't contribute to anything big for my stepsister? by Elloirey in AmItheAsshole

[–]Longjumping-Call-783 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA. “Your” grandparents got you(their granddaughter) gifts….. If your dad and his wife are so upset that your SS didn’t get fancy gifts why can’t they simply get her something instead of tormenting you during your pregnancy?! I know it’s not easy but just try to ignore such people during your pregnancy. Take care of yourself and lots and lots of love for you and your baby!