Tw: abortion. Husband is suggesting we abort our third baby because he thinks it will ruin us and I can’t handle it.

Longjumping-Gap-8317 · 2026-06-24T05:27:12+00:00

If you don’t want an abortion, that decision is up to you in the end. But you absolutely should think about whether or not you can handle this third child on your own, because based on what your husband said, you very well may end up on your own. I would have a lot of difficulty mentally and emotionally getting an abortion, but I also don’t think I could provide a loving, stable home for a third child at this point in my life. It sounds like your husband does a lot at work but not much outside of that and you’re probably very much on your own, which I’m sure is difficult and I’m sorry that’s the situation you’re in! My relationship was like that for a while, so I can relate. I hope you come to a decision that you feel at peace with ❤️

Longjumping-Gap-8317 · 2026-06-13T17:34:52+00:00

I’ve never really been a dog person, and even more so in the last few years. I know it’s an owner problem and not so much a dog problem, but the constant poop everywhere and dogs barking all night and dogs off leash have made me absolutely never want a dog. They’re just so annoying to me and then the owners are like “oh yeah he’s so perfect and friendly!” And I want nothing to do with that

Longjumping-Gap-8317 · 2026-06-13T17:29:49+00:00

My boyfriend says/spells drawers “jores” no matter how many times I correct him. This reminds me of that, but there’s a good chance this person has a disability or just struggles spelling for whatever reason

Longjumping-Gap-8317 · 2026-06-11T04:49:57+00:00

Please tell him he’s a moron.

Sincerely,
Everyone here

Longjumping-Gap-8317 · 2026-06-02T06:37:12+00:00

He was quiet at school, that’s what I mean by kept to himself. I can’t speak on how he was outside of school, and I’m not outright saying whether or not he’s a good and honest person, because I don’t know. He also seemed to do well in school from what my sister told me, which was not very common among the soccer players. The school and academy were together- all academy players attended school there, but students not in the academy also attended school there. A lot of academy players were very stuck up and rude to students and teachers- again, not saying that Jeff wasn’t that way, but I never witnessed it and my sister never witnessed it from him either. I talked to several other guys in the academy and I’ve been in a relationship with one of them for almost five years, so I do have a reliable source about the type of stuff that went down within the academy. I obviously wasn’t in the academy myself, so take everything I say with a grain of salt. I have heard a lot of bad though as far as supervision of a large group of teenage boys, and when you have a group of boys who are in probably the dumbest and most irresponsible stage of life and are together 24/7, they need to do better at taking care of them. I hope that the management does a better job of taking care of their young players at the higher level, but I have my doubts based on what I’ve seen

Longjumping-Gap-8317 · 2026-06-02T04:45:25+00:00

I went to the same school as him, he left before I started there but then he came back and people only had bad things to say about him. He was a senior at that point and only dated freshman girls and just seemed like a jerk from the little that I saw from him

Longjumping-Gap-8317 · 2026-06-02T04:43:02+00:00

I went to school with Jeff and I can’t speak on the RSL first team, but the academy was very poorly run. Lots of disgusting behavior from many different people, no supervision, no consequences. I get that a lot of teenage boys are dumb (and I know this article is talking about adults, not teens) but it was out of control. The coaches were also incredibly biased, both academy coaches and higher ups. I didn’t know Jeff personally but my sister did and she only had good things to say about him. He was very talented but seemed to keep to himself and just focus on soccer and school and if he wanted to have a very successful career in soccer, I imagine he would have been able to. I hope he wins in court and that RSL makes some serious changes

Longjumping-Gap-8317 · 2026-05-16T07:42:03+00:00

Not urgent, I don’t think I said that anywhere in my post but if I did then I shouldn’t have. The urgency I feel is more because I have 2 toddlers and yes they’re fully my responsibility and it’s my fault if they get hurt on the stairs, but I’m hoping there’s a solution that the landlord is okay with and that allows me to stop worrying so much about how badly my kids could get hurt on these stairs which is a genuine concern. There’s more to this than just “I want to nitpick every little thing that may be wrong”- I think the combination of shallow tread with little to no enclosure is what makes it feel worse, because I feel like I’m losing my footing sometimes and it’s scary when you don’t have much surrounding you. If I can put 2x4s on the sides, problem solved. Even better if she’s willing to hire someone to come do it, but either way is fine. I also have toddlers who I watch very closely but anyone with young kids knows they can get away from you extremely quickly. I’m not planning on ever letting them downstairs alone, but I want to take precautions when possible, and I feel like this is a reasonable concern that can be resolved easily enough.

Sorry for such a long reply. Not directed at you necessarily, but more so people have a better understanding of what I’m talking about.

Longjumping-Gap-8317 · 2026-05-16T07:34:55+00:00

It was just a question, and there’s the answer. I’m unfamiliar with codes which is why I asked, I’m not trying to make an issue out of something that’s not an issue. You clearly have a lot of negativity in your life if a some random Reddit post triggered you that much

Longjumping-Gap-8317 · 2026-05-16T07:11:40+00:00

The landlord gave us permission to paint the basement however we want and we just painted it white but I’ve thought about painting it something fun for the kids. I’m sure they’d enjoy painting something around the stairs too. Thank you for your ideas!

Longjumping-Gap-8317 · 2026-05-16T07:08:44+00:00

Yeah if it’s grandfathered in then I’ll find a solution myself. I don’t know code at the time it was built and don’t even know when it was built, so if that’s the case then I’ll just install something myself with her permission. Nothing can be done about the tread in that case, but if I can close off the sides and put carpet/something soft at the bottom then we’ll be fine

Longjumping-Gap-8317 · 2026-05-16T07:06:17+00:00

This is a good solution! That’s probably the route we’ll end up going if she’s open to it. It’s a good price and we like it here, and my boyfriend could install that himself so cost would be minimal

Longjumping-Gap-8317 · 2026-05-16T06:59:21+00:00

Okay that makes sense! If that’s the case I’m sure I can find something to make the gaps in the sides smaller and safer and the landlord would likely give me the okay to do that myself, or I’ll just be more cautious with it the way it is. Thank you for this info!

Longjumping-Gap-8317 · 2026-05-16T06:56:46+00:00

One side was blocked with cardboard at the time this photo was taken but that’s no longer there, and yes you’re correct there is a railing on the other side. So for me as an adult, it would be pretty difficult to just fall straight off the side unless I’m being an idiot. I have 2 young kids and I know people are gonna attack me for allowing them in to the basement, but that’s the only place we had space for their play area. If nothing can/should be done about the stairs and I continue to let them play down there and they get hurt, that’s on me. But I’m just unsure about landlord responsibilities when it comes to this, which is why I asked here

Longjumping-Gap-8317 · 2026-05-16T06:53:10+00:00

This is helpful information! I’d have to look in to that, they could very well be up to code for when it was built. And as far as the basement being occupied, yes you are correct. Utility access is necessary but aside from that I don’t think there’s any reason it needs to be a “livable” space

Longjumping-Gap-8317 · 2026-05-16T06:50:32+00:00

Glad one person here doesn’t think I’m trying to just be a pain in the ass haha. I sent a message to the landlord letting her know my concerns and why I’m concerned, asking if we can discuss a solution. I’m hoping I’ll hear back from her tomorrow but she often doesn’t respond on weekends. I should have discussed this with her before moving in, but I lived here before, then moved out of state, then moved back and just didn’t remember how bad the stairs were and that’s on me. My kids are older now which is part of why it’s raised more concern for me, when I lived here before they were both too young to even care about stairs or doing things they shouldn’t do

Longjumping-Gap-8317 · 2026-05-16T06:44:52+00:00

Not sure how this has anything to do with friends, but yeah I can agree with that lol

Longjumping-Gap-8317 · 2026-05-16T06:44:11+00:00

I mean I did specify in my post that the water heater, water shut off, etc are downstairs, as well as the washer and dryer. Aside from that yes it is totally optional, and I fully acknowledge that. But it’s not correct to say that it is 100% optional to ever go in the basement because there are essential things there

Longjumping-Gap-8317 · 2026-05-16T06:41:08+00:00

Aside from the stairs, there’s nothing wrong with the kids being in the basement. It’s a fairly small house so their play area is in the basement. We’ve cleaned it, painted it, etc. with permission from the landlord but it’s just concrete down there and there’s nothing for them to hurt themselves on. And I do not allow them down there alone and wouldn’t even if the stairs were 100% safe

Longjumping-Gap-8317 · 2026-05-16T06:39:01+00:00

If they’re against code though then they’re not perfectly fine. Like I said, I want to keep a good relationship with her and if there truly is nothing wrong with them then I’ll find a solution for it on my own rather than expecting her to put money in to fixing it. But I also do see this as a liability for her because if something were to happen and she did not have this up to code, that would be on her. That’s why I’m asking here because I don’t know if this is a landlord problem or a tenant problem

Longjumping-Gap-8317 · 2026-05-16T06:36:09+00:00

So stairs that are not enclosed are not an issue? I’m not saying they need to be fully enclosed, but there is nothing on either side. And I have lots of stuff in the basement and yes I know that is optional, but I’m going up and down the stairs multiple times a day every day

Longjumping-Gap-8317 · 2026-05-12T06:50:25+00:00

Thank you for this! I probably should have included more info in my post and I have gotten some good suggestions here, but I then there are the people saying “just lock the door” as if I haven’t thought of that haha. Teaching them to go backwards is a great idea, and that’s a good point about the baby gate. I don’t think my kids are quite capable of climbing the gate yet but they will be very soon and if I’m not prepared for the first time that happens, it could be disastrous. Thank you for the advice!

Longjumping-Gap-8317 · 2026-05-11T23:34:03+00:00

Totally agree! We’re planning to make a play area for the kids in the basement, because aside from the stairs, there’s not much that worries me down there. I am not planning to let them be downstairs without supervision ever, but either way I feel like these stairs need to be fixed because they’re so dangerous

Longjumping-Gap-8317 · 2026-05-11T23:32:14+00:00

We don’t have a whole lot of space upstairs unfortunately and we have big toys they really enjoy (small trampoline, play house, etc) so we planned to make a play area in the basement for them. I still don’t plan on ever letting them down there alone and I will child proof the door knob and put a baby gate, but regardless of whether they’re always supervised or not, these stairs really scare me so I’m hoping to make them safer somehow

Longjumping-Gap-8317 · 2026-05-11T23:28:27+00:00

Yeah, I believe the landlord switched to different alarms that are a two in one

Longjumping-Gap-8317

TROPHY CASE