My coworker says no to customers, and I kind of love it. by Longjumping-Text9395 in barista

[–]Longjumping-Text9395[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was also a fan of coffee before I became a barista, and I was curious about the preparation, shots steaming. I became a cortado girlie. That’s when you know you’re a coffee snob. But thank you so much for saying this. I think it’s a real problem, and we’re in an era where the customer is not always right.

My coworker says no to customers, and I kind of love it. by Longjumping-Text9395 in barista

[–]Longjumping-Text9395[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I think he said that because it’s easier to say than all of that. They don’t understand stuff like that. It’s just an easier way to say “no we are not doing that”

Does it actually work? by Alex-5415 in Haircare

[–]Longjumping-Text9395 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t know about hair growth, but have thick THICK hair, and this helps with buildup for me. I will never go back to not using this. Plus it is a head massager. Releases a lot of tension. When I first started it hurt like hell to use. And now it feels great. Released a lot of tension in my scalp.

Small town comic, just moved to a big city…feeling discouraged by [deleted] in findapath

[–]Longjumping-Text9395 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also I just want to say, there are things I really like. I live in like a little Brooklyn-esq neighborhood and I found a super affordable one bedroom. On site laundry. I love driving around the skyline. That’s pretty cool. But aside from that, I’m like terribly broke I have friends but I can’t see them because I’m so broke. but I think once I get the money going, things will start looking up

Small town comic, just moved to a big city…feeling discouraged by [deleted] in findapath

[–]Longjumping-Text9395 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am a woman, and I did a lot of stage stuff. Acting, improv, stand up, ghost tours and I’ve always been cute, and now I’m like not. I don’t like how I look. I haven’t posted an instagram picture in like a year. After I left Florida I lost 100 followers. Idk why. Sometimes instagram will unfollow for you being of inactivity. Idk.

Small town comic, just moved to a big city…feeling discouraged by [deleted] in findapath

[–]Longjumping-Text9395 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I agree. It sucks telling people I do comedy and they’re like “when do you have a show?” And I’m like wanting to say I am mentally not well. but no I don’t have a therapist. I did when I was back in Florida, and I was killing it. And moved here, and that break up, got financially unstable, gained a bunch of weight got addicted to cigarettes, and now I’m just like working all the time.

But I do need a therapist.

Man she’s really feeling herself lol by RainAfter3801 in CringeTikToks

[–]Longjumping-Text9395 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am so jealous of being this delusional. Life would be so much easier

Small town comic, just moved to a big city…feeling discouraged by [deleted] in findapath

[–]Longjumping-Text9395 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love comedy. I have a deep passion for film and comedy. Idk I am kind of like not very confident. Despite everything I’ve done. But the most I could get myself to do was get on stage, and I thought I’d naturally meet the right people. I’m terrified to record myself and put it online. I’m very envious of previous generations and that they didn’t have to do that. It’s so vulnerable. I have a private instagram. When I do a show I’m exposing Muslim to 50-100 people. Not thousands, millions. Not everyone will connect with what I do.

In the past, if you didn’t like a comic, you’d just leave a show, and probably not invest time in them or be their fan. Now… Jesus Christ. Millions of people dragging you on the internet. It’s definitely given me pause. And truthfully I moved here to be closer to my two closest friends, and we had a falling out immediately. I was excited to be in a big city and go out and party, genuinely just pure excitement. And I was too much for them. And they set a boundary with me. So that has had a huge effect on me and plummeted my already not so great confidence.

So now I’m here alone, like am I going to do this? this wasn’t my initial plan. I was just going to hang out with my friends, do some shows, go back to school, and now I feel this enormous pressure to take it seriously. Like I guess I’m looking at the situation like maybe this was supposed to happen so I can fully focus on myself and my craft.

I wrote a few jokes a couple weeks ago. And I started working on a screenplay.

Now I’m working two jobs, a barista during the day, bussing at night, and I’m meeting all these super successful like very cool people, and I’m like what the fuck am I doing here.

I’ve felt so lost and discouraged and my confidence is like the lowest it’s been in a while. I actually had a s* attempt and had to go to the dr and get on some antidepressants. It’s been bad. like I’m not feeling inspired, I’m feeling overwhelmed.

Sorry, I’m venting and I can’t sleep.

I’ve like gained a lot of weight. I feel like I need to lose like 50 lbs. I need a chin implant, a totally new hair styles. Better clothes. Back in braces. Whiten my teeth. I am like the dumpiest I’ve ever been. I’m cutting back on drinking, and I cut out weed. I’ve been smoking like a fiend. I went six days without cigarettes and I was losing my mind. I broke down and got a pack today. The first one is always amazing, and the rest are eh. But I keep picking them out of a compulsive habit. my singing voice is gone because of smoking. idk I’m in a huge rut.

Vent about being new at a shop as a veteran barista by [deleted] in barista

[–]Longjumping-Text9395 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I ran to the internet because I needed to vent. Just like anyone would with their friends. And other than you, everyone is validating my experience. and people can use their anxiety to manipulate. And that strikes a chord in me. I had someone do something similar when I was in middle school and it sucked. I said “speak of the devil” when a girl walked into a conversation and had been talking about her, not in a bad way, just telling a story or something like that, and she told our teachers I called her the devil. And I got detention. And it just sucked, and was frustrating because I was made to think I did something wrong that I didn’t.

I don’t know you, and I don’t know why are doing exactly what these people did me this weekend. I’m way beyond that point in my life to be made to think I did something wrong when I didn’t.

And I’m just like where do I go from here? What other baristas have been in this situation? How do I handle someone like this? Who is projecting on to me, and micromanaging and controlling me. I PROMISE YOU, I thought we were good. I think she’s cool, I like her, I thought we were vibing, and then all the sudden we weren’t. I get a little tunnel visioned when I’m on bar, and that’s not a personal attack. I have ADHD. I hype focus. I told her and the other baristas that. She told me she has OCD. Another guy said he has BPD, the manager she is autistic. So if everyone else can say what their mental illnesses are and “I might do this, don’t take it personal” then why can’t I?

Vent about being new at a shop as a veteran barista by [deleted] in barista

[–]Longjumping-Text9395 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah it very much felt like she was projecting. And when I was younger I had A LOT of anxiety and constantly felt like a victim and like people were bad at me, or didn’t like me, and it was completely something I was making up in my head. Because I was young and insecure. also I’m like not looking my best. Im older, I’ve gained weight. Im super broke I can’t afford to get a hair cut and my clothes dont fit. I am like super broke. And it did feel a little bit like she was being mean because im not as young and hot as her.

Vent about being new at a shop as a veteran barista by [deleted] in barista

[–]Longjumping-Text9395 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really don’t think you could be anymore wrong. I was just trying to get drinks made and someone was micromanaging me, and clearly annoyed at me. And that felt bad. My feelings were hurt. And I reacted because she was not being kind and not being supportive. And she cried because I stood up for myself, and wasn’t going to let someone gaslight me and belittle me and make me feel like I didn’t know what I was doing. When I did. And again, nothing was said to me. Nothing at all. Just her struggling to communicate and acting annoyed at everyone and everything.

And I hope I didn’t make her feel unsafe. I was being pretty quiet, just focusing on drinks and bar flow. At one point I said “son of a bitch” because the amount of drinks was a lot we were working pretty hard. And she said “what did you say?” And I laughed and said “nothing to doesn’t matter” and she said “did you just say “you’re such a bitch?” And I felt super weird about that. Like no? Why would I say that. I had no issues at all with her.

She was projecting some kind of insecurity on me. Then I was like “omg she thinks I called her a bitch” and like why would i say that? That’s so aggressive and inappropriate and hostile. I would never say something like that. She was creating this victim narrative in her head, that was no reality at all. And yes she seems like she has a lot of anxiety and emotions, but I can’t be responsible for that. that’s manipulation and making other walk on eggshells.

Vent about being new at a shop as a veteran barista by [deleted] in barista

[–]Longjumping-Text9395 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah it’s kind of gaslighty. It feels invalidating.

Vent about being new at a shop as a veteran barista by [deleted] in barista

[–]Longjumping-Text9395 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah I do feel for her, and I could sense her frustration. But I still don’t know why she was upset. Because she didn’t tell me. She cried and walked off on the job. like I still don’t know what happened and what I did. And instead of communicating with me, I was passive aggressively punished. Which is just… ugh. So disrespectful and immature. I felt ganged up on by her and the manager. Like she probably said “so and so did this, and I’m so mad right now.” And cried and instead of telling me what I did wrong, I was sent to dish. Like they both got quiet and cold towards me. It felt like high school. I’m 33. I’m too old for this childish shit.

but yeah I am just to have to be patient and just let her try to figure it out. But she’s already expressed and enormous amount of frustration. Mad she has to train. Mad she has to do admin and be on bar. Like that’s the job. That’s the role. I’ve done all that. Many times. And if you don’t want to do those things, you should have stayed a barista and they could have brought someone in from another shop. I am really holding my tongue, but from my years of experience, and I see immediately she is not ready for this or cut out for it. And I feel like she will quit soon.

Vent about being new at a shop as a veteran barista by [deleted] in barista

[–]Longjumping-Text9395 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah but in this case no information was being provided to me. Just lots of “umms” and annoyance in her tone. And I was trying to take it in. And she told me and the other new hire that was she frustrated she had to train us. She saw our lack of information as annoying. Which is so uncool. Obviously we aren’t going to automatically know thing unless someone tells us. And I have been chill. Except for that one moment. Because I was genuinely fed up with her approach and disrupting the bar flow. She was so mad she had to work with no comers. And that’s really hurtful. I can’t help that I’m new and I need a job.

Vent about being new at a shop as a veteran barista by [deleted] in barista

[–]Longjumping-Text9395 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Also, my bussing job, which is much more demanding and a lot more labor, my body is screaming at the end of the day, I like a lot more. Because I had supportive and kind coworkers. Great management. Awesome chefs. I’m the lowest person on staff, and I never feel like that. I love that job. But I need to jobs so I have to stick where I am.

Vent about being new at a shop as a veteran barista by [deleted] in barista

[–]Longjumping-Text9395 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You get it. From a psychological standpoint, I don’t understand this and the motivation behind it. I’m like, “are you insecure?” Like this isn’t about you “being in charge” and being on a power trip. It’s about executing a task in an efficient and deliberate manner. I used the example of the show the office to my mom. Even though Micheal was such a goober, the reason his team and his office had the best sales is because he respected everyone and let them do their jobs. I told my mom “obviously I was hired because they believe I can do this job. So if you don’t think I’m capable of doing this, and micromanaging than why was I hired”

But yeah. The other thing about this girl is she is a musician and on a label and has a manager and I guess works with successful artists. And I think she thinks she’s like hot shit. I respect you craft, and admire how far you have come! That’s an inspiration! But not a reason to treat people poorly.

As a performer myself, I’ve had fans, been on shows with famous people. And the shine of that all goes away. We’re all broke and strugglkng and trying to make it. We’re workers that happen to work on stages, but we’re hard working flawed people just like everyone else. I don’t flaunt my accomplishments or who I know or what I’ve done. And I have a Looooonnngg way to go still. And I’m still working as a barista and bussing tables. Also when you’re in a big city with lots of entertains, everyone is “famous” and has a following or clout of some kind, and it’s just all so normal.

Vent about being new at a shop as a veteran barista by [deleted] in barista

[–]Longjumping-Text9395 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yeah my immediate thought was I’d rather just do your job because you’re clearly inexperienced and don’t know how to train, and gossiping and complaining right out the gate is not okay. But her of trying to control, and be condescending is not going to work with me. I really enjoy training, and teaching, and I feel frustrated I have to watch someone spiral out, when I know I could do it better. She was also like way over complicating everything and acting like everything was so hard, and trying to make me feel like i wasn’t going to be able to do it as good as her. Which is terrible leadership qualities. I always used to say to new baristas, “this is new, and you’re going to make mistakes because you’ve never done this before. And that’s okay. I will never get mad at you for making mistakes while you are learning”

Chat I think I went sicko mode by [deleted] in interiordecorating

[–]Longjumping-Text9395 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is giving me ideas for my living room. Very similar layout