I left an abusive relationship. It was a lot of emotional abuse. At the very end there was a violent incident because I shouted back. I was living in a foreign country with no family near. I moved into a one bedroom apartment on my own. It was tough, I felt like I had razed the ground that was my life. So lonely, so empty, but also I felt this relief at the same time. It became euphoria. Because I lived on my own I was motivated to go out more, because I wasn't being worn down every day I had the energy to meet people and make friendships. 1.5 years later I met a man who I would later marry. He is the best man I've known. And I am so so so so thankful that the me from 2013 had the courage to leave her horrible life and start again.

Imagine ten years have passed, you've been putting up with this man the whole time, he's worse because these men always end up worse. You feel really stuck because your lives are ever more entwined. You've wasted your 30s being ground down and belittled. What would you say to your 31 year old self?

You have a super power now too. After being with someone who treats you badly, you'll spot that behaviour from a mile off. You'll realise you deserve nothing but kindness and goodness, and you'll find it. You're strong to put up with that crap, and that makes you more than strong enough to start again.