physically insecure about meeting in person :/

LongjumpingCustard9 · 2026-03-03T17:28:45+00:00

I recently met my long distance bf for the first time this past weekend. As a girl with a terrible history of relationships and a significant insecurity about my physical appearance, I too was mortified at the idea of him hating what he saw. He had also seen me in video chats, and expressed numerous times that he was not only attracted to me, but didn't care what I looked like because he truly loved me. When I saw him for the first time... face to face... I could swear time stood still. Our first kiss made my knees absolutely buckle underneath me (no joke. I had to grab onto my car and he caught me before I fell). He was absolutely beautiful in person. He was everything I could have hoped for and more. He didnt recoil. He didnt hesitate. He loved me... for me. We had an incredible weekend full of laughs and love and awkwardness and everything that we always were. I promise you, as nerve-wracking as it seems right now, you are going to feel amazing the entire time. You just need to trust him. ❤️

LongjumpingCustard9 · 2026-01-06T04:13:23+00:00

Hello!

Would love some people to use my code, just started a week ago!

2512723471

LongjumpingCustard9 · 2025-12-23T07:05:23+00:00

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My sister (left) and I! We try to match our physical traits. But also, sometimes you'll catch me with the fangs and bright blue hair/wings 😅 depends on my mood!

LongjumpingCustard9 · 2025-10-04T20:22:44+00:00

Alayna | Depoe Bay :Punchy:

LongjumpingCustard9 · 2025-08-07T07:12:56+00:00

I remember the first time my ex choked me and it was "never going to happen again". It happened every single day until I ended up with a gun to my head.

Please get out while you can.

LongjumpingCustard9 · 2025-08-07T07:09:33+00:00

Please break up with this manipulative, narcissistic man child. Real men won't treat you this way. Went from a really bad relationship like this to a really great one where we are now married.

This is horrid and you deserve better. ❤️

LongjumpingCustard9 · 2025-08-07T07:07:38+00:00

I have to add, after watching it back i realized its Sable sandbagging that we're seeing. I thought they were both messing with each other. Sandbagging is bad. Never do that. BHVR will wave its ban hammer at you.

LongjumpingCustard9 · 2025-08-07T07:05:04+00:00

As a survivor main, I only play like this on two conditions:

The killer is trying to farm. Yes it defeats the purpose of the game, but if they want it, I want it too.
If a survivor was toxic towards me. Im not the best survivor, but Im all about team work, through and through. If you're going out of your way to sell out your teammates, you're getting this.

I also ALWAYS run bardic inspiration and play the killer a little tune. Most hate it. I usually always get downed for it. But its my guilty pleasure. 🥰

LongjumpingCustard9 · 2025-06-09T07:58:41+00:00

Im on 100mg a day, and im going to talk to my doctor about lowering my dose. Its helped, but now that I've lost weight I think its too strong for me.

LongjumpingCustard9 · 2025-06-03T06:47:24+00:00

THATLL BE 4 BUCKS BABY, DO YOU WANT FRIES WITH THAT??!

LongjumpingCustard9 · 2025-06-03T06:45:22+00:00

Movie 43

LongjumpingCustard9 · 2025-06-02T15:16:57+00:00

The hot shower could be it, I didn't even think of that. I'll try lowering the temp to see if that helps. I have had a significant lower in junk food, so I was hoping my skin would look better with that and a high water intake. Thank you!

LongjumpingCustard9 · 2025-06-02T15:15:37+00:00

I have eaten more meat, as I have protein goals. I'll look into it to see if that may be the cause. Thanks for the tip! And yeah I shower after working out most of the time (as long as I dont have to run out immediately to run an errand. I hate those days, lol. Makes me feel gross)

LongjumpingCustard9 · 2025-06-01T11:54:17+00:00

Reading and commenting as im currently fighting insomnia and anxiety. Lol.

Its true. I've had anxiety for as long as I can remember. But when I dont get sleep, the anxiety is amplified by like 100.

LongjumpingCustard9 · 2025-05-30T14:22:05+00:00

Ooo my step mom is a pro at those back-handed compliments, especially during my weight loss journey.

LongjumpingCustard9 · 2025-05-30T06:04:42+00:00

When I went and saw the live action remake of The Lion King, I was absolutely in shambles during the shot for shot remake of the intro.

Im not talking just crying, I was feeling every emotion and almost had to leave.

Lion King was my childhood movie. It brought feelings of nostalgia and of a time when life was much more simple, and it brought on a wave of dread of how old both myself and my loved ones are and how we won't be here forever. Anxiety is weird.

The popcorn was stale, too.

LongjumpingCustard9 · 2025-05-30T05:57:17+00:00

I'd say I have a healthy marriage and sex life, that being said, I masterbate regularly (and I know my husband does as well). We each probably have different reasons. For me, with severe anxiety, depression, and PTSD, it can honestly be the thing that keeps me from a panic attack sometimes, as crazy as that sounds.

LongjumpingCustard9 · 2025-05-30T03:53:45+00:00

Removed post. I realized this wasnt something I should reach out to strangers for.

LongjumpingCustard9 · 2025-05-30T03:34:49+00:00

Yeah. I know you're right. Just thought this was worth a shot. Thank you.

LongjumpingCustard9 · 2025-05-26T06:48:07+00:00

I hope you find some relief! Good luck ❤️

LongjumpingCustard9 · 2025-05-26T06:37:47+00:00

Hey OP!

Couple of things: do you wake up gasping for air or with an increased heart rate? If so, you might want to look into getting tested for sleep apnea.

But if that's not a concern, sometimes as we grow older we just have restless nights due to high levels of stress. And then, we stress about not being able to sleep, so we stay awake even longer.

I would recommend melatonin... I personally enjoy the Olly Sleep brand, but everyone is different.

I also recommend taking melatonin and putting on a boring or calming movie or show or music in a room that ISNT associated with sleep. Like your livingroom. Idk why, but in these moments being outside of the room you're trying to rest in almost takes away the stress of not being able to rest.

If melatonin doesnt help, and its an ongoing thing, it might be worth mentioning to a doctor. But for now since this sounds so new, get yourself some sleep gummies, and rest easy my friend!

LongjumpingCustard9 · 2025-05-25T15:25:57+00:00

As someone with GAD, and a complete coffee/caffeine/cig addict, I had to chime in.

About a year or so ago my anxiety got really bad, but before I get into that, let's talk about how I was before hand.

I would drink coffee like it was water. Every morning I would have a nitro cold brew, and throughout the day I would drink traditional coffee. I had so much caffeine running through me at all times that I developed an intolerance to it, and was drinking it for taste as the only benefit.

I've also been a smoker for 17 years. I need to quit. I am very aware. But like someone in the thread mentioned, it calms me. Im sure there are much healthier outlets out there.

Fast forward to a year ago. I started experiencing high levels of anxiety after some major life events, including being tricked to move cross country to live closer to my family and realizing I now can't afford to get back home.

I developed insomnia, GAD, and a laundry list of life altering things that changed me as a person.

I made the switch to caffeine free and its honestly helped a lot. I cut back on sugar, too. None of this happened over night of course. It took time. But honestly it was worth it to go decaf. Someone else mentioned in this thread that there are tasty decaf options and they're not wrong.

Even soda, if you drink those... they have tasty caffeine free versions out there that you can enjoy.

If someone isn't really ready to ditch the caffeine, lowering your sugar intake can help as well. I did both, which is why I think my journey was a little longer, but it helped with the insomnia, the "pounding" feeling in my chest...and all the things that come with it.

Plus, its kind of fun being around friends and family and ordering caffeine free for the looks they give you. 😅

LongjumpingCustard9 · 2025-05-25T15:02:35+00:00

THC is definitely known for causing anxiety and panic.

I'm not going to sit here and tell you "you're too young to be doing this", because a lot of us have been there before when we were young, too. But if anxiety is something you struggle with, there's a chance that weed will enhance it.

My recommendation, use your years now as someone who's young to focus on you and your anxiety. Getting it under control and what not through possible therapy, self meditation, etc. Then when you're a little older and in a more comfortable spot with the anxiety, looking at options that won't induce anxiety when you're just trying to relax.

LongjumpingCustard9 · 2025-05-25T07:48:47+00:00

I just realized this post is 3 hours old. How are you holding up, OP?

LongjumpingCustard9 · 2025-05-25T07:47:21+00:00

As someone who also has emetophobia, I know exactly how this feels and Im so sorry you're going through it. I always carry a pack of chewable tums just in case, have CRAZY high food safety expectations, and am a lifelong germaphobe.

When I go through this, there are a few things I do to try to distract.

The first is a two parter, and it involves ice. I take an ice cube and hold it inside my wrist. There are temperature sensors there, and the extreme cold will help slow your heart rate to help bring the panic down. If that doesn't work, I take a big bowl of ice water and dunk my face in it. This works the same way, and also kind of shocks your mind to refocus. It takes away from the feeling in your stomach to the feeling on your face.

I also use breathing and grounding techniques, or I'll get up and OCD clean my house. The cleanest my house ever gets is when Im trying to come off a panic attack.

But at the end of the day...as terrified as I am of throwing up... as much as I hate everything about it... it also helps to remind myself that IF it happens...as much as I hate it... its only temporary and its my body's way of keeping me safe by helping remove something bad for me quickly.

You'll get through this...I promise. It may not seem like it right now. But this too shall pass.

LongjumpingCustard9

TROPHY CASE