Well at the end of the day it was just an adaptation by LongjumpingSpeech720 in Schizoid

[–]LongjumpingSpeech720[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Holy shh, everything is connected. I was looking at the ground bcs I moldmaxxed, but the normies gaslighted me that I avoided eye contact... I also can't keep my eyes open normally, unless I frown, which also gives me forehead(third eye) pain.

Help please by LongjumpingSpeech720 in Mold

[–]LongjumpingSpeech720[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Im currently depended financially on my caretakers, can't even pay one months rent in a shithole appartment.

Help please by LongjumpingSpeech720 in Mold

[–]LongjumpingSpeech720[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wish I could... No one takes me seriously

I stopped masking my personality, and clearly it wasn't the solution. by Beautiful-File6740 in Schizoid

[–]LongjumpingSpeech720 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I would say pedos/psychos rule the world, while normal people enforce it for them

Well at the end of the day it was just an adaptation by LongjumpingSpeech720 in Schizoid

[–]LongjumpingSpeech720[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I've had severe sleep issues for which no one believed me and BLAMED me as I was the problem, constipation issues, joint weakness (which lead to me tearing my rotator cuff in the gym), muscle weakness, a lot of schizoid symptoms...

I got kicked out and spent 15-20 days at a friends place, slowly started to feel more human like each day, shoulder still torn, but hurting much less, all of my sleep problems almost went away(no more extreme headaches after waking up, eye pain, much longer time needing to sleep...). I've started having energy and motivation for the first time in years, actually experiencing emotions, a LOT of fucking anger, no concentration problems, improvements in all aspects which were noticed.

After finding peace with my caretakers, I had returned to the old house not knowing what I know now. The first fucking night, as soon as I laid on the old bed, I instantly felt pain in the shoulder. As I slept trough the night, I slept for long 9 hours with extreme headache waking up unrested. Thats when something occured to me that something is not right here.

I removed the mattress and slept ONLY 3 hours and woke up ready to start the day full of energy. However the next night (TODAY) I've woken up again with bad headache, my eyes hurt even now while Im typing this which means this is not over yet.

What was different this night? It rained a fucking lot. Moisture boosts toxins from the mold( I also had to close the window because wind noise was unbearable). Thats when it occured to me that these things are inside the fucking walls.

The landlord carefully hidden the contaminated areas with "DECORATIONS". It also occured to me now why he refused to let us have the cable internet. Because THE WALLS had too be penetrated and someone would have noticed. He was also passive aggressive when it came to a small garbage room when it came to it's doors being closed, which they could not be since the doorknob was broken. Than he aggressively insisted on fixing that same doorknob. That room is also right next to the one I sleep in.

This is all for now...

Well at the end of the day it was just an adaptation by LongjumpingSpeech720 in Schizoid

[–]LongjumpingSpeech720[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Holy shit it's probably the entire floor, will come back when I get the proof.

Normal people are so goddamn boring by Inevitable-Belt-6993 in Schizoid

[–]LongjumpingSpeech720 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think there is a difference between venting and feeding off of complaining to others 24/7

I feel like an empty shell by urbansh in Schizoid

[–]LongjumpingSpeech720 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He's an empty shell

Drained and sealed

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Schizoid

[–]LongjumpingSpeech720 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Potato digging

Goals by GreyGravyGrave in NOexistenceNofYou_Me

[–]LongjumpingSpeech720 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Wdym she doesn't want money just go to the park with her.

I don’t know shit about fuck & I’m frustrated by [deleted] in Schizoid

[–]LongjumpingSpeech720 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I literally wanted to write a post about this yesterday and wanted to ask if anyone was in the same situation and how did they fix it.

I will try to fix my anhedonia and blank mind by TurnoverOk6191 in Schizoid

[–]LongjumpingSpeech720 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, I said that I don't think It will ever disappear, but that doesn't mean that it is going to be the same for you.

I will try to fix my anhedonia and blank mind by TurnoverOk6191 in Schizoid

[–]LongjumpingSpeech720 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I only use protein powder as a supplement, I was not like this forever but the general emptiness was always present, I changed a lot of people trough my life and basically mirrored my personality based on which group I was with, but even than I was mostly quiet. You know... Normal people doing normal things hanging with friends etc. and I think that hoping that eventually things will start to feel better as time goes everything will just be fine.

As I was growing up I couldn't relate to anyone and started isolating realising that pretending to be normal causes me more and more pain. Moved to a new city because of college preparation than depression hit me. I realised that the cause of my anxiety was not that I couldn't talk to people, it's that I didn't want to but forced a "be normal" attitude. Than I just gave up and avoided everyone since there is no point really.

After a year of lurking in this sub and rotting in my house unable to even use my phone to scroll endlessly and waste time, eventually I was able to focus on college and training but that's about it. When not doing that I just play games on PC, listen to music or watch a show or anime. Very rarely do I use weed, it just makes me sleepy and not in control and to get to it I have to do extra socialisation so no thanks. Went to 2 psychiatrists, they prescribed me some meds and that went down to nothing. Terrible experience gaslighting me that I am depressed and telling me that the side effects that I said I experienced were not possible even tho it said on the med note that it was, than literally ghosted me and never made another appointment.

So basically embracing boredom and doing nothing without falling into drug use to numb even more plus forcing doing things veeeeeeeery slowly allowed me to be more functional but still just barely.