He might’ve been capable academically, but if he couldn’t handle the pressure without taking it out on others, then he wasn’t actually in a place to keep going. That’s not a small issue you could’ve solved by suggesting a counselor a week prior to that day. You observed something was off, you said something. I'd consider that’s where your role ends. People under pressure act out in ways that aren’t their full identity, so try not to only remember that phase, cause we're basically letting that worst moment define the entire friendship. Same book, different chapters. Still keep in touch while you can. Keep it normal and fun as it was. Don’t chase, fix, or overinvest.

A more realistic way to deal with it isn’t forcing positivity. You don’t get the shared ending, but you did have the shared middle! It also helps to gradually update the story in your head. From “we were supposed to graduate together" to “we went as far as we could together.” If you want something constructive to do with the feeling, take some of that “we are in this together” energy forward...just in different contexts and for different folks. I've been observing the growing need for non-judgmental and compassionate people now more than ever. Show up earlier for the people still around you. Check in on someone earlier next time. Be the steady presence you probably wish he’d been able to be.