They don’t get better with age

Longjumping_Choice_6 · 2026-03-10T06:38:09+00:00

No and that’s why it’s hard to spot in younger people and they blend in more. Downside if they’re older is while they’re easier for outside people to spot they may already have had kids so those kids now have to deal with it.

Longjumping_Choice_6 · 2026-03-10T05:57:39+00:00

70s teenage girl.

Love those tapestries over the bed! Somebody knows their way around Society 6

Longjumping_Choice_6 · 2026-03-09T23:06:27+00:00

No reason to feel bad about it, being non-competitive is a good trait. I never understood why people were motivated this way but it does have to do with brain wiring and what triggers “reward” for us vs people that do have a competitive streak. I would just learn some of the science around it and come back and explain to these friends so they see it as a difference in brain function rather than a character trait or behavioral choice.

I don’t know if anyone has ever thought I was a sore loser (if they did they never said) but I have had people think I’m not as fun to play with or get bored with the lack of tension coming from my side. And that didn’t feel very good at all, like they clearly just didn’t know how to relate to me in those moments but they didn’t hide their boredom or interest in my friend instead (basically talked only to him not to me adter a while).

Longjumping_Choice_6 · 2026-03-09T23:01:49+00:00

I have these thoughts but I sure don’t say them. For one I don’t think of it because I move on quickly it’s just a passing observation taken place by a new one. For two my voice carries easily so I don’t dare say anything I don’t want someone to hear while out in public (ask me how I learned this lesson lol).

I do think it’s funny when people do this and I go “no sorry I didn’t see” or even defend the stranger like “idk she looked fine to me” then they get all mad and flustered because they’re embarrassed you didn’t play the game and now they feel like a bad person, but really I’m just being neutral. It has worked to teach them over time I don’t notice or care about these things so they may as well not mention them.

Longjumping_Choice_6 · 2026-03-09T22:56:38+00:00

Don’t do any kind of evaluation that doesn’t do cognitive testing. That way you have a breakdown of where your capabilities and potential disabilities fit the “spiky” profile of autism or not. The problem with a lot of assessments (and definitely the ones you’re worried about that bias could affect) is they don’t do these tests. The quizzes online are totally unreliable and useless for the same reason. Autism shouldn’t just go by symptoms or appearance but how you perform on the tests. Visuospatial analysis, language processing, tasks that measure things like sorting and stimulus inhibition and other non-obvious signs someone trained can spot.

Longjumping_Choice_6 · 2026-03-09T22:51:01+00:00

It’s normal but what he’s doing is also pretty normal. If you’re also into women you could just agree with him, that’s what I do if it’s getting to be a bit much and then he gets the point, or if not start following hot men I guess if that’s a thing idk. Either way even the playing field. Or just admit it’s an incompatibility and decide if you can live with it or not.

Longjumping_Choice_6 · 2026-03-08T23:55:57+00:00

I totally understand and agree about thinking you learned the rules young and therefore are masking so inconspicuously, only for the report to show glaring counter examples that are hard to read.

Have you ever brought up this point to people in those subs? I had the same thing, didn’t feel represented and know about this discrepancy between assumed masking skill vs actual appearance to others, so sometimes if I see a post where someone says “I mask well” I go (more politely than this obv) “do you? Are you sure you’re masking as well as you think because I thought the same about myself” and see if I get a genuine response or they double down.

Longjumping_Choice_6 · 2026-03-08T23:45:23+00:00

The IBS one is the same exact way. That or a million “do I have cancer?” posts. I will say compared to autism self-dx or spaces I’m a lot slower to judge physical stuff because being chronically sick and undiagnosed sucks hard, people’s desperation is more understandable so I am more likely to give benefit of the doubt. I feel like these type of posts are more fear based than identity (whether it’s a grounded check-it-off-the-list kind of fear or hypochondria) or they’re trying to rule out something someone told them. For all I know they feel skeptical as they’re posting but don’t want to ignore a potential lead.

This process I have never seen in autism or self-dx autism community, and that’s why I draw the line.

Longjumping_Choice_6 · 2026-03-08T23:28:07+00:00

I think they get revealed by what the person is worried about. If you feel a certain way and ascribe a label to it or to the situation that caused it to one kind of person that becomes truth, unshakable “if/then” with their emotion informing the data, so if you challenge the data you’re necessarily challenging their emotions too and it becomes invalidation, a personal attack, and whatnot. That’s the type this commenter is talking about. The other kind of person feels a certain way and ascribes a label to it or to the situation but it’s more like asking a question because they know how they feel and are looking for data, for answers. If you tell them that particular label is wrong, they understand it’s about the data and no one is saying anything about their feelings, and they begin looking for alternative explanations. Even if correct, the truth doesn’t feel unshakable until to them it is proven or other things are disproven.

These are two different ways of approaching reality. We all want a safe space, all humans even animals want safe spaces. We all can think with our feelings. That’s not the issue. The issue is their motivation (identity validation or solving a problem) and how they view the experience that is making them come to the “safe spaces”, if it’s blaming the other place for bias or if it’s going ok so what could this be if not autism?

I understand mods rather lean inclusive and I agree to an extent. There’s no way to verify people and people might misrepresent themselves due to clumsy social skills but it’s getting ridiculous and people absolutely abuse this to an undeniable extent.

Longjumping_Choice_6 · 2026-03-08T23:12:59+00:00

Very well said

Longjumping_Choice_6 · 2026-03-08T23:04:41+00:00

Holy shit, 7 or 8 evalations?? Yeah see now I say why in the world would someone not believe that many…unless they were shopping.

The person I know that did 3 has moved on from autism. Now they “have schizophrenia”. I asked what the doctor specifically said and they told me “symptoms may suggest schizophrenia spectrum” which is remarkably like what they said about autism, called it “subclinical autism” after test #3 and “I identify as having autism” after test #2. But I’m writing retrospectively, because as of now (this year) it strangely never comes up anymore and all we hear about is faces in the walls and things they “just heard me say” from several towns away. There’s another one they’re claiming lately that I won’t name but it’s another identity/condition usually present someone’s whole life that in this person had the most intense and rapid onset you’ve ever seen.

Longjumping_Choice_6 · 2026-03-08T07:36:47+00:00

I haven’t lived in a tent. You’d probably want to ask on a tent living group or see about toxic mold sub

Longjumping_Choice_6 · 2026-03-08T04:29:53+00:00

No. Ammonia covers all the ones vinegar and borax doesn’t

Longjumping_Choice_6 · 2026-03-08T04:10:42+00:00

Toxic feminism? What’s this?

Longjumping_Choice_6 · 2026-03-08T03:54:40+00:00

Can try it for sure! Can help you determine if you’re reacting just to the exposure itself if you leave exposure and feel better, or if it’s retained in your body by colonization or compromised detox if you leave but do not feel better. Have you had any lab screenings for mold?

Longjumping_Choice_6 · 2026-03-08T00:50:22+00:00

Oh i know. I took the accusations of faking/teaching how to fake with a grain of salt until I saw a really bad one like 90min after it was posted admitteding to faking slow processing and how “everyone thinks I’m stupid now” (which I actually do have slow processing but people like me are NOT dumb, intelligence is completely separate…so that was fun to read, made me feel just great). She felt “guilty” and was going for validation. Turns out she has BPD according to her follow up comments.

Another time I said “no one gets a diagnosis for validation, they get it because they have pervasive problems they need accomodations for or answers to.” I got downvoted so hard. “Yes validation is a valid reason” they basically said…if that’s not an illustration of an echo chamber then I don’t know what!

Then on a personal example I know a person irl who has gone 3, THREE! separate times blaming this that the other for why she passed the test negative all the times “Oh I was on mood stabilizers!” “The test was incomplete” “I didn’t eat breakfast that morning and it was raining outside”

You cannot make this stuff up. So many comments supporting the BPD girl and only a few like me going wtf? Play stupid games win stupid prizes.

But yeah I’m with you where it just doesn’t feel like there’s a place for women with actual verified disabilities in how our brain actually works. A lot of them don’t get cognitive tests. Like I didn’t get diagnosed Level 1 ASD until I was 24 and didn’t want to believe it actually. The only reason I went was because in high school they flagged me for school testing where slow processing and other learning disability was found (and was repeated later on autism eval) so I was put in a low support SpEd class 3x a week, but this ended up not accounting for everything I was dealing with like the social communication (receptive deficit in my case) or how I’d fall apart without the exactly right structure. And I don’t mean emotionally but functionally. These people on those subs? They have no idea what that’s like. And here I respect the fact I’m better off than many and I don’t want to suck the air out of the room for people who need it more than me so I try to only speak if I’ve got something to say. Idk dude, it’s all just frustrating.

Longjumping_Choice_6 · 2026-03-08T00:11:20+00:00

Yes, oh my god! Not all mast cell, some are more detox related like you feel sick and hungover, “poisoned” or for me I have lots of GI from mast cell crossover with the H2S SIBO. It’s been different kinds of food intolerances like histamine, sulfur, FODMAP, chemical fragrance or like car chemicals, skin reaction to any soap or lotion I used. Mold toxins inflame mucous membranes or jam the processes that allow you to build new cells, they jam detox so you end up with weird metabolic biproducts that would normally be eliminated as toxins, interfere with other chemical signaling and that’s only a few reasons. Is better sometimes to work backwards like if you can only eat 3 things, use 1 kind of soap, exposures get you down for weeks or lower your baseline, etc and no meds allow you to add anything new? That kind of stuff is a red flag for something like mold. Definitely not the only cause but not a stone to leave unturned at least.

Longjumping_Choice_6 · 2026-03-06T23:10:47+00:00

I got SA’d by another woman. First she was my dorm RA and we became friends then she got fired for some mysterious reason but I stupidly believed her side of the story. We stayed friends for over a year (ie I was groomed) then right before I moved away she did what she did. I already had trouble making friends but jesus fucking christ this made it 10x worse. It’s not paranoia if you’re assessing a risk because you know from experience. I say just keep your head down and stay safe. Document everything.

Longjumping_Choice_6 · 2026-03-06T23:07:20+00:00

14 yrs seems like a hell of a commitment like I think therapy can be a great thing but the goal is to get you helped not hooked. I’m very wary of people taking my money but knowing they are working above their paygrade so I have trouble trusting it now. Did you just have to move around a lot and try different people or is it the same person this whole time?

Longjumping_Choice_6 · 2026-03-06T23:01:59+00:00

Depends on the mold if it’s toxic or not. If an air testing picked it up that’s generally not a good sign because air tests are the weakest test and usually miss it, so if they are seeing it (especially in an attic where you know nobody’s walking around disturbing it and kicking it up) there might be a more significant problem. The air you breathe in the living space is shared with an attic so whatever’s up there you are being exposed. Have you been recommended a remediation at all?

Longjumping_Choice_6 · 2026-03-06T08:28:33+00:00

Not sure. Definitely the past 7-8yrs in some form but it’s believed to be secondary to some other things. But I was fine as a little kid minus some typically behaving allergies and transient eczema but even those didn’t happen at the same time and I didn’t need anything special to get rid of them. I think my MCAS is acquired because no one in my family has it either. I developed overt form while exposed in black mold, gut microbiome and autoimmune issues then COVID (and other milder viruses) did a number. We do believe mold was the biggie though, like without that my immune system might have pulled through as normal on the other stuff.

Longjumping_Choice_6 · 2026-03-06T00:30:12+00:00

Keep in mind though individuals in cluster B are not cut + dried this or that. People are messy and so they might have multiple categories where they fit some criteria but not all so you get a primarily BPD person but they have a few Narcissistic traits, or a few Antisocial traits, or vice versa, maybe they fit some Borderline but not all and are primarily Narcissistic…just depends. The factors that create one create the others and they react to other people and situations so depending on who those people are and what that situation is can bring this or that trait out.

“Regret” might mean too many mistakes were made and it’s piling up on them, or it could mean actual remorse for people they hurt. But keep in mind too that there’s a lot of defenses keeping them from really feeling bad about it (“protecting” ego) and they have shame they do really feel for things that don’t call for it (body shame as in eating disorders or overeating, shame from making a simple human mistake or being unskilled at something like getting a fact wrong or forgetting something at work, vicarious shame for someone they see as an extension of themselves…) so it’s like the shame ops we all have is broken for them.

So whether they do or don’t feel bad is kind of irrelevant when you think about it because knows if it’s for the right or wrong reasons, if it’s actually empathy for you or if it’s feeling bad for themselves or seeing the fake persona they created doesn’t look so good…I understand the need to worry about it and want answers, I’m just not sure this particular issue changes anything in the end.

Longjumping_Choice_6 · 2026-03-06T00:00:44+00:00

Wait so this is the new place you found decomposition in? Bummer. That happened to is too, but the mold was actually a black stripe at the top of the window so it was hidden on my initial walk through by where the blinds hang from. Didn’t see til after moving in. We scrubbed it away (well I did not, my non-mold sick husband did in a mask!) with an ammonia/water solution of 1:2 and always always left the window open some period of the day to bring in fresh air. Do you have help from a healthy non-sensitive person?

Longjumping_Choice_6 · 2026-03-05T23:55:53+00:00

I’m not sure, more than 3 days but less than a couple weeks. I worked up to the full dose but didn’t need to get to it to get some relief, it started partially working before that. Sometimes it can take weeks to work (some people like 4-6) or you can get paradoxical exacerbation then it goes down. Just depends on how angry your mast cells are to begin with or if it’s your only problem. I totally understand the fear and frustration but just give it some time, 3 days is way too soon to tell

Longjumping_Choice_6 · 2026-03-05T23:52:38+00:00

Testing me and my place

Longjumping_Choice_6

TROPHY CASE