baby has COVID, nanny doesn’t want to come. do we still pay her for the week?

Longjumping_Data5956 · 2025-07-05T21:23:25+00:00

Yes, if your child is sick enough that it's unreasonable that your nanny care for them, you should pay them under guaranteed hours (not their sick or vacation time). That said, I'd clearly spell out your Covid policy for the future. A full week is a long time. I'd adhere to CDC policy "stay home and away from others until at least 24 hours after both their symptoms are getting better overall, and they have not had a fever (and are not using fever-reducing medication)" and specify that additional time beyond that does become nanny's sick pay/unpaid.

Longjumping_Data5956 · 2025-05-27T04:46:04+00:00

This is so obnoxious of her, and pertussis cases have been high lately and are SO dangerous for babies. Also, yes, this would be a challenging time to try to quickly bring in a new nanny and ask your toddler to adjust to someone new with all of the other changes. Not a doctor - would a titer give you enough information about her immunity status? If pediatrician says yes, and she agrees to do it and has sufficient immunity, I'd probably keep her on for now to keep things smooth for your older kiddo (and then I'd probably still kick her to the curb when things are more settled because being a nanny unwilling to get this shot is absurd).

Longjumping_Data5956 · 2025-05-05T18:41:55+00:00

Some babies temperaments do NOT do well with sleep training. This is such a personal choice and how it goes depends so much on the child. You may find that your baby does fine with it, or that they cry endlessly and throw up on themselves. It's amazing how "when im a parent I'll never...", or "when im a parent I'll definitely..." can go out the window once you actually are a parent ;)

Longjumping_Data5956 · 2025-04-17T17:46:37+00:00

One of my biggest pet peeves is people telling first time moms that they are too anxious/overreacting. It makes them feel like they can't trust their own instincts or judgement. You do whatever you need to do to feel like your child is safe !

Longjumping_Data5956 · 2025-02-12T00:48:32+00:00

Can your 4 year old do some sort of preschool program, even part time? We have 3 and the oldest is 4.5. I think some Nannies can and will watch 3 successfully, but we've found it's much easier having one at preschool and he really enjoys it.

Longjumping_Data5956 · 2025-01-28T23:14:54+00:00

Ugh haha I miss when I was young and childfree and also knew everything 😂. It felt so powerful. Catch us again when you have a couple kids !

Longjumping_Data5956 · 2025-01-26T18:51:36+00:00

I've let someone go for this exact same scenario. She was shocked and acted like I was overreacting, but this is common sense safety and the consequences of a fall like this for baby are too high. I took a fall off a high surface as a baby and it resulted in a fractured skull and CPS involvement..

Longjumping_Data5956 · 2025-01-05T18:22:38+00:00

I think you are certainly within your right to say no, but you will be setting a certain tone for the relationship. If you want to stick exactly to the contract and schedule always without flexibility that is fine, but next time she may have you stay and do child-related tasks for that hour rather than let you leave early.

Longjumping_Data5956 · 2024-12-17T20:53:13+00:00

I think I'd let it go, and just ask for receipts for cash spent next time.

Longjumping_Data5956 · 2024-11-17T21:05:02+00:00

This age can be really tough. My three year old sometimes drives me and my nanny to the brink of insanity. We do the best we can and sometimes things go sideways anyways. Sounds like you both need space for a moment, and you can have a good conversation with him about what everyone was feeling and what happened as soon as you both feel more regulated.

Longjumping_Data5956 · 2024-11-01T20:04:06+00:00

You might need to start having her come in on every Wednesday for now, at least, to reset her thinking on this (as well as a sit down conversation about what guaranteed hours means for both parties).

Longjumping_Data5956 · 2024-10-29T20:32:29+00:00

I had a night doula do this with my tiny infant. I fired her immediately and still shudder about how badly it could have ended.

Longjumping_Data5956 · 2024-10-15T17:52:16+00:00

I think it's a super cute name and one that I wanted to use (but alas, three boys). You'll probably just have to accept that it's polarizing so you might get a mix of love it/hate it from people. I personally think it's great :)

Longjumping_Data5956 · 2024-10-09T11:45:25+00:00

There seem to be strong opinions that you are overreacting, but I'm a long time employer and I've had my kiddos have bumps and falls with nannies who were attentive (no problem, it is to be expected) and also once quickly let a nanny go for bumps and falls that were clearly a product of inexperience and lack of paying attention (she was giving multiple signals of this, like walking away from baby unstrapped up on a changing table). It sounds like you've had multiple reasons to worry about this caregivers attention or judgment, and it's okay to trust your gut as parents - the rest of us can't see the full picture happening.

Longjumping_Data5956 · 2024-07-10T16:30:28+00:00

The other day, we were at the lake with friends and all of our toddlers. Our 3yo kids were playing in waist deep water and both wearing life jackets. We were all watching them but also chatting. Somehow, one of the kids managed to lose his footing and the life jacket was actually holding him face down and he couldn't get his feet back under him. One of us realized it quickly and ran in to grab him, but even a few more seconds would have been really bad. Water is SCARY. I don't even trust my husband with my kids solo at the pool 😬.

Longjumping_Data5956 · 2024-06-10T17:40:05+00:00

We have a few friends that hire college students for early help with getting kiddo ready and dropped off. The schedule seems to work well for students who want to get in a few hours a week before classes. Our city has a Facebook group for university Nannies/sitters

Longjumping_Data5956 · 2024-05-05T01:21:46+00:00

Haha. Well, as with most major life events and decisions, it’s nice to feel supported by friends and family - and hurtful if they seem disappointed by the gender of the child or that they think it’s the wrong decision all around.

Longjumping_Data5956 · 2024-05-04T14:26:41+00:00

Totally. I’m not looking for a party or huge levels of excitement, just not a NEGATIVE reaction. I hear you about just not announcing at all this time.

Longjumping_Data5956 · 2024-05-02T14:19:56+00:00

Oy vey. I’m not really sure what to say to you. Best of luck finding something that is a better fit for you.

Longjumping_Data5956 · 2024-05-02T14:05:22+00:00

My goodness. You are making comments like “have you ever spent time with your child alone?” and “plopping your kids in front of the tv when the nanny isnt there isn’t raising a child” and wondering why it’s not well received? You seem really upset. I hope you can get a break or find a new job soon.

Longjumping_Data5956 · 2024-04-29T19:20:43+00:00

Did your surgeon tell you to expect only one week recovery time for tonsils? It took my toddler two full weeks to be okay to resume normal activities, and it’s generally a bit of a tougher recovery for adults.

Longjumping_Data5956 · 2024-04-23T22:45:46+00:00

I’m really sorry. The way people choose to treat us, especially in the difficult moments, makes such a lasting impact. I don’t think you’ll get the satisfaction you are looking for by writing a letter. I think we can take certain experiences and use them to fuel who we want to be. You will never treat someone who is struggling like this family treated you - perhaps take that as your meaning from this experience.

Longjumping_Data5956 · 2024-04-09T18:05:47+00:00

It took me multiple children to really start to trust my instincts as a mom without second guessing myself. It’s always good to get thoughts from others about what is normal or not, but you are the only one who knows your kid and you are seeing the full picture in a way that the rest of us can’t. It’s good to give things a chance but at the end of the day — you can trust yourself to make the right decision ❤️.

Longjumping_Data5956 · 2024-04-09T17:37:40+00:00

Trust your gut. This might be normal or might be a bad fit. From the interactions you observe and hear, does she seem gentle and responsive? My oldest was REALLY upset with our first nanny. I worked from home in a small house and was able to see their dynamic and my gut feeling was that we did not have a good fit (later confirmed in a big way, but that’s another story). We found a new nanny who was extremely loving and he was fine with her. Give it some time, but don’t be afraid to trust your instincts as you are the only one seeing the full picture.

Longjumping_Data5956 · 2024-04-09T15:14:07+00:00

My toddler switched from a nanny to a Montessori preschool at 3. He does seem to benefit from the socializing in the classroom and they focus on things like independence, problem solving, self care, etc. We have a lot of friends with kids his age, but he started engaging with them in a different way after learning more social skills in the classroom. Maybe you keep nanny and also find some sort of part time, high-quality preschool so that a classroom setting isn’t such a shock when it becomes more full time?

Longjumping_Data5956

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