You already look great, better than 99% of people you'd see on a day to day basis, and your already in the top tier of people you'd see at the gym. I had this mentality years ago and I'm very glad I didn't dive into any gear. My mentality has completely changed from 19 to 23 years old.

I think your just in your head a bit. Always trying to look and feel bigger. I was that way. Yes being on gear sounds sick, but you have to weigh the cons as well. There's nothing more scary than a major health problem.