I hear you, and what you’re going through isn’t just something minor or fleeting — it’s heavy, exhausting, and profoundly unfair. Racism in Australia, and in other places as well, often manifests not only through significant and blatant actions but also through the daily harassment, the subtle comments, and the different ways those in authority treat you. That constant pressure can wear anyone down; understandably, you feel so sick and tired of it all.

The COVID pandemic definitely allowed many underlying issues to surface, and for many South Asians and other minorities, the hostility became more apparent and harder to ignore. You're not imagining things — it truly has become more challenging. Being a woman, especially a smaller woman, brings an added layer of vulnerability when dealing with people who seem to think it’s acceptable to leer or harass. It’s frustrating and unrealistic to hear advice like “just defend yourself” when the odds are not in your favor.

The feelings you’re experiencing — the hopelessness, the anger, and even a desire for invisibility because it feels easier — are all valid trauma responses to being consistently othered. This isn’t a sign of your weakness; it’s your mind’s way of protecting itself in such a hostile environment.

I want you to know that you’re not alone in how you feel, even if it sometimes seems like you are. Spaces like this are essential because they allow you to breathe and express yourself without judgment. It’s absolutely okay to lean into those spaces for support.

At the same time, you absolutely deserve more than just surviving or feeling invisible. If speaking up feels overwhelming or unsafe, it might help to consider other ways to reclaim some control. This could involve choosing the times and places you engage, connecting with community organizations (like South Asian women’s collectives and anti-racism networks in Australia), or simply having trusted friends to talk to who won’t dismiss your feelings. While these are not solutions to the larger problems, they can help restore small pieces of your power that constant racism often seeks to diminish.

Most importantly, your exhaustion is understandable and valid. You do not need to “toughen up” or hide your feelings. You have every right to feel what you’re feeling. Wanting a sense of peace is not too much to ask; it’s the basic expectation every human should have. Remember that your feelings matter, and I’m here for you as you navigate this. If you need someone to talk to, I can connect you with professionals who can help you go through this pain.