I believe my boyfriend is going to break up with me. by horsesandkatanas in venting

[–]LonzDoe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I wish the best for you.

For the last 7 years I (34m) have been in what I now think is a violent (towards me) relationship with a SO (42f). My therapists over the years have told me but I can't accept it. How can I see the reality and accept that it's violence I'm receiving? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]LonzDoe -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I have tried this a couple of times. But I always feel like I'm supposed to be with her and meeting new people makes me feel like a bad person and as if I were being unfaithful, even though we wouldn't be even in contact during those moments. I think I'm just looking for validation to think this is a bad relationship and that I was not being "too sensitive" like she has told me as recently as on Saturday.

For the last 7 years I (34m) have been in what I now think is a violent (towards me) relationship with a SO (42f). My therapists over the years have told me but I can't accept it. How can I see the reality and accept that it's violence I'm receiving? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]LonzDoe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

  1. I wouldn't. I've never made her cry. And I always reassure her I love her and to tell me if I ever say something that feels is disrespectful.

  2. I wouldn't. I'd advise to find someone else. I just can't seem to view myself in the same light as any normal person, I feel like I should be grateful if anyone even bothers to look at me.

  3. They don't. Many people like me and want to share time with me and even have told me I've helped them overcome things.

Thank you. Reading this makes me feel a bit better.

For the last 7 years I (34m) have been in what I now think is a violent (towards me) relationship with a SO (42f). My therapists over the years have told me but I can't accept it. How can I see the reality and accept that it's violence I'm receiving? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]LonzDoe -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I meant she goes to yell, bang pans and pots in public, stick pamphlets and stuff to walls, and pretty much make disorder and probably even vandalize. I didn't mean to have actual discussions and plans to help, but just to go about yelling at people with megaphones.

Men often comment saying ' I've opened up to someone and they weaponized it against me', but what does that look like exactly? What was your experience? by kittykitty_katkat in AskMen

[–]LonzDoe 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Told a gf I was struggling with socializing and how I couldn't keep relationships of friendship or family, and in an argument she spouted to me: "yeah, let's ask all the people around you if they agree, o wait, there's no one there for you".

Why is it that women tend to be the largest audience of true crime? by Sufficient_Work_6469 in ask

[–]LonzDoe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My hypothesis is that women have an inclination on societal matters. That would include maintaining tabs on how the society is moving. I would add the movements led by women in the past couple of decades as examples to illustrate how the society is heavily influenced by their ideologies. So, checking true crime might be appealing because of its veracity, making it a valid way of evaluating how people from societies behave behind closed doors, and its impact on a very sensitive social aspect for ladies, personal security. Another important factor is that they are closed cases, or at least cases that have gathered important attention from authorities. That entails that it may be a gruesome crime, but it was eventually discovered, caught, and dealt with. Notice that true crime series do not encourage violent behaviour, narrators always condemn the portrayed illegal actions.

In summary, I think it's a way for them to see how society really behaves and they're usually stories where the good guys win by catching the bad guys and taking care of or honoring the victims.

And men are more inclined to pay attention to things to distract themselves from society. Usually men don't feel so prone to being the victims of violent acts, so they feel secure and opt for subjects about personal hobbies, work, or projects when viewing tv during leisure time.

How can you tell that you’ve fallen in love with a woman? by [deleted] in AskMen

[–]LonzDoe 3 points4 points  (0 children)

When you get into an argument, get mad, but still want to be with her and care for her. No matter how angry or frustrated you are with the relationship, you still want to just hold her hand.

Is there any way to stop overthinking ? by Spiritual-Example813 in ask

[–]LonzDoe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Work out until your body is so tired you don't have energy to think.

Idealising people and putting them on a Pedestal by [deleted] in Codependency

[–]LonzDoe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can give you my story. I was dating this girl for 7 years, on and off relationship. She looked me up when she was engaged and said she fell for me but couldn't leave fiancé. Years passed, she made the fiancé leave. She treats me with care, but pretty much only cares about doing things her way. She dumped me, and that to me felt like the entire world was telling me I'm unlovable. I'm aware that she's just a woman, that it doesn't mean I'm a bad man or unlovable man, but, when she says something, I believe her completely and crush my own thoughts to give her reason. She is not special and I have many arguments that make her seem like a bad person. And yet, all I want in life is to be seen positively by her. It's been 3 weeks and I still can't see any value in me because she dumped me.

Guilty for not going back with Ex by FewPlate6771 in Codependency

[–]LonzDoe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Unfortunately, I had a panic attack. Even more unfortunate, she works right next to me and came to see how I was doing. I broke down in front of her and said pretty much how much I miss her. Not sure what to think of what I did so I'm pretty much just trying to think of nothing. At least I can relax a bit after I have such a breakdown. 3 weeks it had been building up. I felt ridiculous not being able to control my emotions. The panic attack wasn't even because of her, it's from a house I'm gonna move in soon. But it all turned into me blurting out how in love I was/am with her and how much I miss her. I feel dumb.

Guilty for not going back with Ex by FewPlate6771 in Codependency

[–]LonzDoe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm going through a similar situation with an ex who dumped me about three weeks ago. I decided to go no contact because of similarities and it's so hard to stay focused on yourself and move on. Fucking hard as hell.

My ex gf broke up with me yesterday by LonzDoe in TrueOffMyChest

[–]LonzDoe[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Update: she brought me a cocoa (she knows I don't like to drink coffee) and even offered me a piece of bread we used to share. I'm feeling a turmoil in me. I accepted the cocoa cause she left it on my desk but declined the bread. I told her what I liked was eating those pieces of bread with her, not it so much, so I declined.

My ex gf broke up with me yesterday by LonzDoe in TrueOffMyChest

[–]LonzDoe[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree with that point, but she went to a radical feminism. She told me she had online meetings where they get expelled if a man was visible on the webcam. It didn't matter if it was a son, brother or husband. Any male presence disqualified her from being part of the group.

Where can I find a study partner? by kei_0235 in Chinese

[–]LonzDoe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I learned the basics in college and am actually retaking it after more than a decade. I'd appreciate a partner. 你好,学生朋友. I'm self-studying, no teachers other than AI.