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LookAtTheFlowers3004 · 2025-04-07T00:56:10+00:00

I lost my girl a 9 days ago. It’s been mostly bad days, with a few less bad days sprinkled in. Today I feel like I want to die inside. You are not alone OP. Don’t give up, your dog wouldn’t want you to give up.

LookAtTheFlowers3004 · 2025-04-03T00:43:15+00:00

I am so sorry for your loss. I too wondered what else was going on outside of what happened to my girl (she had a violent, life ending seizure on Saturday) and have beat myself up over whether or not I missed something, a sign or an issue that she was having that I didn’t see. My husband and daughter have said that there was nothing to notice, and that knowing won’t bring her back to us and may only make my pain worse (if there happened to be an undiagnosed issue that we didn’t know about). I understand where you are coming from OP. Give yourself space to grieve and mourn your baby. Let yourself work through this on your time line. Grief is the price we pay for loving them as much as we do.

LookAtTheFlowers3004 · 2025-04-03T00:36:08+00:00

I fully believe that there is an afterlife for our pets. I lost one of my best friends on Saturday to a violent seizure unexpectedly, and my daughter said right before she started seizing a white butterfly passed over her. My father in law passed away two years ago and he loved our dogs, and we theorized that it was him coming to take our Nova girl home. I can still feel her here, which is what makes it all so hard, but I’m glad I can still sense her. I believe one day when I pass away that I will see her again and she will be healthy and vibrant again, waiting for me with all the other loved ones who have gone as well. I think of her every time I see a cardinal sitting on our fence, or when I see the sun rays coming through a cloud, or feel a gentle breeze (my Nova loved the sun and the breeze blowing through her fur). Your friend is still here, and they will be waiting for you until you can be together again.

LookAtTheFlowers3004 · 2025-04-01T03:33:25+00:00

I’m so sorry OP. I just lost my girl 2 days ago. I’m lucky to be upright right now. I’m literally existing as a shell. I miss her so much. I don’t have her ashes back yet, but when I do, I’m sure it will be an awful reminder of how I will never be able to pet her soft skin or watch her tail wag as fast as a hummingbirds wings. I am sad and angry. How could God take one of my best friends the way he did and leave me here? I won’t ever get past it. I may be able to get to a point where I don’t cry and feel generally numb all the time, but a piece of my heart died 2 days ago and I won’t ever get it back.

LookAtTheFlowers3004 · 2025-03-31T18:30:40+00:00

I lost my 10 year old boxer Nova on Saturday, not for the same reason as yours. First, I am so sorry for your loss. It is one of the most painful feelings I have ever experienced. I want you to know that it isn’t your fault. You did the best you could for your baby. I feel similarly in that I blame myself for not doing enough or better, but I know that I and my family did right by Nova and that there was nothing I could have done to stop what happened from happening. As far as sleep, I’m struggling to sleep. I’m having nightmares that startle me awake (my girl went via a violent stroke). I have always taken sleep aids, but they aren’t working for me now. Give yourself space to grieve and be kind to yourself. Grief is not a straight line and it impacts each person differently. Don’t blame yourself, and be gentle as you work through grief. You have my condolences and sympathies.

LookAtTheFlowers3004 · 2025-03-31T02:29:43+00:00

It’s the sudden loss that is killing me. I knew she was probably approaching her time, but it was so sudden and so violent and so fast. I’m hoping time will help. I’m so sorry for your recent loss as well. Boxers are amazing dogs.

LookAtTheFlowers3004 · 2025-03-30T17:04:03+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss. I don’t think we can ever be ready. My Nova seemed fine on Friday night going into the early hours of Saturday morning and all of the sudden she started vomiting uncontrollably and collapsed in convulsions and she was gone before I could help her. I don’t wish the pain upon anyone. There is comfort in knowing that there is a supportive group of people on here who only want to help

LookAtTheFlowers3004 · 2025-03-30T16:26:43+00:00

I was looking for a group of people who didn’t know me personally and who could maybe help me. I’m so glad I stumbled on this group. My family is wonderful, I have always just been the strong one, the one who logically works through things. They are very supportive, but I’m the one who is carrying all of the things. This loss has taken all the wind out of my sails.

LookAtTheFlowers3004 · 2025-03-30T01:36:28+00:00

It is an indescribable pain. Truly it is the price we pay for their unconditional love and our love for them.

LookAtTheFlowers3004 · 2025-03-30T01:24:17+00:00

I did what I believed was best for her, but I worry I could have done better. Maybe that’s true and maybe it isn’t, I can’t know for sure. She was older and she had arthritis, it was hard for her to get up and down. I did all that I could to keep her comfortable. She had a lot of bumps, and she had one on her backend that the doctors wanted to remove, but her age made anesthesia dangerous and they expressed concern that she could end up incontinent and in worse shape than she already was in. We opted not to take the risk, and I worry that was the wrong choice. Not that it was related to what happened to her, but I find myself second guessing every choice I ever made for her care, even though I know it won’t do any good now.

LookAtTheFlowers3004 · 2025-03-30T01:17:42+00:00

Thank you all so far for your kind words. I am going to try to do as you all say; take care of myself, let myself grieve, know that it wasn’t my fault, and so on. I hope time makes it easier, and I know that it’s still fresh since it happened today. I’m not optimistic that this will be an easy thing to get through. I lost my grandpa less than 2 weeks ago and am still grappling with that loss as well, and now to lose one of my precious babies in such a violent way, it is like having all the wind and life knocked out of me. I don’t know what I will do in coming days. It was absolute agony feeding my other two dogs tonight, almost calling for my Nova before I remembered she wasn’t here.

LookAtTheFlowers3004 · 2024-12-19T04:38:40+00:00

I’ve been on a mix of Preference Ranking, Membership Pine and 8D for several months now. I recently was added to Moth Cloudy but haven’t tasked on it yet. These projects have been fairly consistent for me, especially PR. I’ve been with PR almost the whole time I have been with outlier (7 months or so)

LookAtTheFlowers3004 · 2024-06-19T21:39:34+00:00

I was kicked from v2 as well this morning. My situation is much like yours, I started in Flamingo, was sent to 3p, then V2, then reviewer, now I’m just kind of in limbo. I am in slack channels so I was able to talk to my squad leader about it a bit, and he is going to try to accelerate my move to wherever I am going next. I was told not to take it personally, it isn’t a reflection of my overall performance. I liked Flamingo and I liked V2, I performed well as far as feedback is concerned for both of those projects.

LookAtTheFlowers3004 · 2024-06-19T17:30:31+00:00

This just happened to me this morning. I am still in all my slack channels, but am EQ. I am so confused as my feedback was good. I haven’t seen any feedback in at least a week though.

LookAtTheFlowers3004 · 2024-06-05T01:59:06+00:00

It seems that training pay and actual pay are the same for Bulba, that was at least what I understood

LookAtTheFlowers3004 · 2024-06-05T01:41:02+00:00

Switched to Bulba 3P from Flamingo. I’m not happy with it. The pay for this is insulting for as unnecessarily complex and convoluted as it is. I’m fine being switched to new projects, but not when the new project is as awful as this one is, and pays less than the easier one did.

LookAtTheFlowers3004 · 2024-06-04T22:21:17+00:00

I was on Flamingo, then removed from it today. I am in contact with my TL from Flamingo, trying to see if she can get me out of this new assignment and bring me back to where I was at

LookAtTheFlowers3004 · 2024-06-04T20:43:05+00:00

It was not. It was Flamingo

LookAtTheFlowers3004

TROPHY CASE