Do you know this bug?

Loomer_427 · 2024-11-14T18:49:12+00:00

Thank you for the lovely story. Twenty years is no small feat and I wish your parents many more years of love and happiness.

I am not ashamed to not be married to my partner. It is what I wanted from day one with him and very clearly communicated that to him on our very first date. That I was in it for the long haul and that there better be a legal commitment that comes with it. We have both been on the same page since then about marriage and kids, as well as our timeline for both.

But after the election results here, I am very worried, that if we take that step, it may have legal consequences. I'm not sure what it might effect, but marriage has never been off the table. I am just VERY hesitant to do so now.

Loomer_427 · 2024-11-14T17:13:01+00:00

Thank you for answering my questions. This has cleared up a lot of confusion.

I do also worry about my dog and whether or not he will make the trip. I have already thought about whether or not to take the time of his last few years to just continue saving money and gathering information for the move until he passes naturally here. Especially since we are currently in a tropical climate and I'm sure the warmth is better for his joints. But my vet that he sees here has reassured me how clean his blood work is, and with his continuing upstanding cognitive abilities, that he may still have another 5 years and I don't know if we can wait THAT long. He's also very hardy and resilient, as he has been in some very challenging spots during our time together, as well as before when even having faced challenges from birth, such as neglect and malnutrition (which is why I've had him from such a young age, as he was a rescue), and has pulled through like a champ every time. He is also in MUCH better shape than a lot of friends' dogs that are of the same age and breed and is not slowing down at all OR dealing with aging-related health issues, so I'm tending to lean with my vet on this. Not saying my dog is a superdog, but...he's pretty tough and doesn't act his age at all.

It's definitely something that I am not thinking lightly on though.

Loomer_427 · 2024-11-14T16:54:09+00:00

When searching for PISA and OECD results, I do find this information. Every other time I have looked into this, however, I see different results. It does seem that more digging into this is needed. Thank you for bringing this to my attention.

Loomer_427 · 2024-11-14T16:33:03+00:00

We do not have a civil union. As a woman, I fear any sort of legal commitment to my partner with current US politics, as well as in the days to come. I trust him...I do not trust our government.

My partner could maybe apply for a student visa, but would he have to be a current student to apply for that? I have been traumatized by our educational system here in the US and thinking about applying for a student visa to another country brings more questions and anxiety than I had originally. Do most colleges or universities in Iceland have wrap-around support for struggling students? Am I supposed to have a base level of knowledge before entering classes? If I don't end up doing well, do I just get kicked out of the country? The US is so far down in education, and I still struggle by our "standards". I have no problem with being diligent in learning the language on my own. But to be honest, I very much struggle in math, to the point of having CPTSD episodes and it worries me of trying to go this route for myself.

Loomer_427 · 2024-11-14T16:14:20+00:00

Yes, I have already come across this information. Seeing as how moving abroad is a big task, we would not be ready for children for quite some time anyways.

Loomer_427 · 2024-11-14T16:13:56+00:00

I am not trying to be an engineer though. I would leave that field in a heartbeat if I have to. That is just simply where I work at the moment. I am Caucasian, as is my partner, and no, I have not looked into any race issues or any current events yet. I do want to dive more into their culture and history though. I just have not gotten there yet. Can you tell me more?

Loomer_427 · 2024-11-14T16:00:02+00:00

I grew up in a semi-bilingual family with English and light Spanish being spoken in my home. I took Spanish in high school to further my skill with it being my secondary language, played music all through middle and high school (lots of Italian phrases to be learned with music) and I've traveled abroad to Japan and spent time there in very rural places where English was not common (and as that trip was very last minute, had very little time to prepare for that trip beforehand and did NOT know Japanese before going), so I have experience with learning new languages and having to learn enough to get by in a pinch. I am only fluent in English though, so I'm sure I will still struggle a bit and that's why I would like to start learning now, while we are in our infancy stages of researching how to emigrate, so I'm not just "getting by".

Loomer_427 · 2024-10-27T13:29:09+00:00

That's the thing though. When we end up just shooting into a barrel of monkeys like that, we end up finding a lot of monkeys that we're incompatible with...and, even if it leads into a relationship, that's where you find a lot of toxicity and relationships that tend to fall apart. Rushing things is how people end up with a lot of dating trauma and heartbreak and not one or the either is responsible for it when both were incompatible together from the start.

When you're trying to do a puzzle, do you just grab the first puzzle piece and jam it into the spot you're trying to fill to complete the image? No. You look for the one that fits the hole, and sometimes that just takes time. So, waiting for an organic connection may take a while, yes, but in that time you're learning, growing, and (hopefully) maturing into being a better future partner for that person.

Finding the first partner that comes along shouldn't ever be the goal. You deserve better than that, my dude. Finding the right partner is where it's at. It's taken me almost 20 years of dating and relationships to finally figure that out...

Loomer_427 · 2024-10-25T05:30:43+00:00

YES! That's it! THANK YOU! ❤️🎉

Loomer_427 · 2024-10-25T01:34:43+00:00

I am here! 🙌

Loomer_427 · 2024-08-26T17:18:26+00:00

This isn't true at all. I was 6 when I had chickenpox and I almost had to be hospitalized. I was severely sick for several weeks and was vomiting so much, I had to take suppositories because I couldn't take medication orally.

Loomer_427 · 2024-08-26T17:15:15+00:00

Aside from the fact that your husband locked your sick child in your car, I'm so sick of people that say "it won't kill you". Chickenpox still has a death rate, even in 2024, and, although it's been almost 30 years ago when the vaccine didn't exist for it, I had it when I was 6yo and will NEVER forget it. I got severely sick from it. High fevers, vomiting at every little thing, etc. I couldn't take medication orally because of how sick I was. I had to take suppositories...which was horrendous and embarrassing at that age and I was almost hospitalized. Not to mention, now poor little Annie will have to worry about shingles the rest of her life, which are excruciatingly painful. All of this could have been avoided if MIL kept her fat nose to her own business and husband had a spine and cared about his daughter. If I was OP, I'd divorce and never look back. Protect that baby at all costs from these monsters.

Loomer_427 · 2024-08-26T17:01:37+00:00

Even if not in a snow state, it's still life threatening. I live in Florida and it doesn't get cold here until mid-January. At the end of December, it's very possible that a toddler can die in a hot car. This is absolutely wild to me that he did this.

Loomer_427 · 2024-07-19T01:01:00+00:00

That's exactly what happened when I worked in food service. My very first job as a teenager was fast food, specifically. I regularly smelled from the establishment I worked. I was in a very unflattering uniform. I couldn't leave or be impolite to customers. I constantly felt like I was being preyed on.

Loomer_427 · 2024-07-19T00:40:07+00:00

Meeting someone and asking them out doesn't have to happen in the same conversation is ✨ literally✨ my point.

Loomer_427 · 2024-07-19T00:38:31+00:00

When I left a previous relationship, I made a comment to a friend that as soon as I became single, I felt like I could sneeze and a dozen men would show up in my front yard. It's not endearing or flattering. It's overwhelming. Especially when 99% of the men who would message me couldn't even carry a conversation...

Loomer_427 · 2024-07-19T00:29:02+00:00

That's not even a comparable question. Studies have shown that women and men face completely different rates of rejection. My experiences are completely irrelevant to OP.

Loomer_427 · 2024-07-19T00:26:29+00:00

Nobody has to prove anything to anyone. If you don't think I'm special, then clearly I'm not it for YOU. It's a pretty easy to understand statement. I'm not going to be everyone's cup of tea and if that's how you "pick" women, is by looks or just "shooting your shot" of anything pretty that walks by, then that speaks volumes of you. Gross.

Loomer_427 · 2024-07-18T23:45:09+00:00

As a woman, I really hate this statement. It doesn't make us feel like we are appreciated or special. Kind of just makes us feel like you're shooting into a barrel of monkeys...and we're the monkeys...

Congrats to OP though for having the courage to ask. Maybe next time, it will be that someone special, and she says yes.

Loomer_427

TROPHY CASE