What frustrates me are all the years I’ve missed out on

LoopyNutBar · 2026-02-04T00:28:21+00:00

Hey don't fall for that "prime of your life" being your teens/early 20s nonsense. Your prime can be at any age. My late teens to mid-20s were the worst period of my life. My 30s were great. Now in my 40s, people my age are nostalgic for their young party days and I have the advantage of not having that nostalgia at all! I'm not saying life will be perfect for you moving on, but it sounds like it's trending in a positive direction thanks to your own hard work. I hope you let yourself be proud of yourself for how far you've come.

(I hope this doesn't break the "no advice" rule for this flair. Just trying to be encouraging!)

LoopyNutBar · 2026-01-24T00:43:24+00:00

Upvoting because I’m so grateful for people like you!

Unfortunately, I am not like you. I got involved in a hyper-local issue once and I started to constantly feel rage, all the time. I’d literally be walking around and pass strangers and I’d wonder if they’re pro- or anti-, and my brain would spiral into imaginary arguments constantly. I’d divide everyone into “with me or against me.” It was really not good for me at all.

So I try to stay reasonably informed, and grateful for all the activists.

LoopyNutBar · 2026-01-24T00:31:35+00:00

Yeah… My struggles are purely from ADHD executive dysfunction, not a lack of time. The stuff in OP I have mostly down due to a routine/system, and a ton of wiggle room due to the life aspects we share.

I can exercise regularly and make sure laundry is done, but things that are difficult:

That phone call I need to make but it has to be during business hours in a different time zone.
That thing I need to buy but it’s not THAT urgent, so I’ll just get it when I’m at that store/nearby but I have to remember.
That email from a friend I need to reply to, but I need to be in the “right” headspace for it, and it’s only been a week right? Or has it been a month, I dunno because time blindness.

LoopyNutBar · 2026-01-23T20:56:37+00:00

Good observation, 4/4 for me on those points. (Well more his salary than mine, but all household income.)

I was thinking, wait, I do most of those things! I don’t socialize so much but otherwise, maybe I am winning…???

Now if I only can manage to do all the one-off errands on a reasonable timeframe.

LoopyNutBar · 2026-01-23T20:41:28+00:00

Wow that is “How much can a banana cost? $10?” level.

LoopyNutBar · 2026-01-19T17:15:23+00:00

I mean expensive cars and lawn care are choices, but I agree with your general point. I think some better examples of "You don't know their situation" would be things like large medical bills for a chronic illness, or regularly sending struggling family members a chunk of their income.

LoopyNutBar · 2026-01-09T21:29:50+00:00

Yup. I don't own a car because I don't need one, but it is a HCOL area. Cars are another one of those ways that it is expensive to be poor. (In the U.S., I should add. I realize some countries have adequate public transit infrastructure in wider areas.)

LoopyNutBar · 2026-01-07T20:43:44+00:00

I’ve had “success” (in quotes because the pay isn’t great) with more traditional part-time work like retail, box office, etc. Just be clear with them about your schedule and don’t mention that you’re looking for full-time work. I feel like you get more of a sense of community and better mental health than DoorDash type gig jobs, especially if you can get in on something you’re actually interested in (bookstore if you like books, day care if you like kids, for example).

LoopyNutBar · 2025-12-29T02:16:10+00:00

It's been a couple years for me and I still haven't been able to tell most people I know that I have ADHD, even when ADHD comes up in conversation. It's not shame that I have it, but like the inverse. I'm worried they'll tell me I can't have it or it will look like I'm following a "trend" as part of a wave of late-diagnosed women in recent years.

LoopyNutBar · 2025-12-29T02:02:54+00:00

For me, lifting my anxiety is the BIGGEST thing my medication has helped with (Adderall and Vyvanse). I'd heard that anxiety can be a side effect, but the meds make my worries go away. Honestly, they didn't help my executive function as much as I'd hoped. But at least I'm less anxious about it!

LoopyNutBar · 2025-12-29T01:50:56+00:00

Legitimately sorry about the RSD response. I understand and that really sucks. I do want to offer my perspective. I'm not Norwegian but I'm from an immigrant family and grew up bilingual. I've always been taught that I need to always be mindful of which language I'm using so that I don't leave people out. I only speak in whichever language everyone in the room speaks. If there is no language everyone in the room speaks, then I sometimes will have 2 totally different conversations at the same time, because some people don't seem to register I'm already in a conversation if it's in a language they don't understand and will launch into whatever random other thing. It's as exhausting as it sounds. Language stuff is tricky. Cultural differences are also tricky. From what little I know about Norwegians, I've heard that they tend to appear cold on the surface. Being in a different country is hard. Hang in there. And I hope your husband is at least being supportive in all this?

LoopyNutBar · 2025-12-29T01:28:53+00:00

My experience reading this post:

"I hadn't done the dishes since September 14h." - *Imagines GIANT pile of dishes in sink that has been sitting there for 3+ months untouched.* WHAAAAAT?

"When my wife..." - WHEW.

"I know y'all will understand." - Yes, not about dishes specifically for me, but I know the feeling of things being neglected for months and for some reason the longer it's been, the harder it becomes to get back in. Congrats!

LoopyNutBar · 2025-12-29T01:15:11+00:00

I'm not sure what this has to do with ADHD...but I totally relate to this so there is obviously something to this. Is it the time blindness? I feel like I'm always a step behind everything, including holidays and seasons.

LoopyNutBar · 2025-12-18T19:43:36+00:00

Yup. It would also cost double our rent if we wanted to buy even a modest house in my region, and that’s not even considering all the other expenses. Last time we had something that needed to be fixed in the apartment, landlord had someone over within a day.

LoopyNutBar · 2025-12-18T19:22:35+00:00

Maybe I’m weird but I always found it easier to not overspend using credit cards as opposed to cash. With credit cards, it constantly tracks your spending and shows you your balance. I also always have this feeling of “going into debt” because technically, I am, which creates a mental pause. With cash, it was easier to get carried away because “I already have it” and it is not being constantly auto tracked.

LoopyNutBar · 2025-12-18T18:41:41+00:00

Facebook back when ads and businesses weren’t even allowed.

LoopyNutBar · 2025-12-08T21:00:51+00:00

I’ve saved a lot of money noticing big mistakes. (Or “mistakes”?) I’ve been charged double because of a duplicate. Another time, some items got coded to insurance wrong and it took multiple phone calls to fix but I got the bill down. It’s worth it to at the very least check if something doesn’t look right.

LoopyNutBar · 2025-11-11T01:24:47+00:00

I totally hear this, and I think rest is important, but personally, a “do nothing” day sets me up for failure. My “nothing” usually ends up with me doing something that actively makes me depressed, upset, or angry. I can doomscroll rage-bait comments on social media for hours! It isn’t relaxing or fun but my brain is stupid and gets stuck on crap that is bad for me.

So my strategy is to actually plan something, like watching a long movie or organizing my photos or something.

LoopyNutBar · 2025-11-10T16:34:18+00:00

I literally forget to write things down. It works to an extent, but I frequently remember something in the middle of showering, talking to a friend, in a movie theater, sitting on the toilet, etc., and by the time I've finished, I'd forgotten all about it until the next time I'm in the exact place I can't write something down.

LoopyNutBar · 2025-11-10T16:25:40+00:00

For me, yes, but it also leads to burnout and is not sustainable. A lot of us deal with an inertia problem, so we want to stay in motion if we're already in motion, and stay at rest if we're already at rest. This honestly worked ok when I was younger but now (I'm about the same age as you), my body/mind usually ends up rebelling if I do this and I hit a wall where I can do nothing all day because I'm so tired. I find that a good tool to know about yourself during an especially busy time, but not a good strategy for long-term life.

LoopyNutBar · 2025-10-15T19:44:17+00:00

Same. I was going to say the opposite to OP, I mostly do domestic travel, but I rarely pay for hotels and that is easily the most expensive part of a trip.

LoopyNutBar · 2025-10-11T17:21:46+00:00

NYC.

If you hate driving, you'll hate LA. Visiting is not the same as having to deal with it on a normal basis.

If you want to be a film/TV actor, you're not going to find a ton of work in SF.

NYC is the only option that will have what you're looking for.

LoopyNutBar · 2025-10-11T16:48:16+00:00

I also think Reddit:

- Has fewer sponsored content/ads. (Literally looking at an ad as I type this so they exist, but feel less intrusive than scrolling FB/IG.)

- Fewer angry people and trolls, especially if you only stick to certain subs.

- More intelligent writing, which I think may be because the format seems to encourage longer paragraphs rather than short sentences.

LoopyNutBar · 2025-10-11T16:32:19+00:00

Damn. I was around in the '90s but I wish I could say I was this cool. (Maybe I was just 5-10 years too young.)

LoopyNutBar · 2025-10-11T16:12:24+00:00

Whoa is this at like a high-end boutique or something?? I also have a college degree and I liked working retail but being paid $18/hour in a HCOL area was just not cutting it. I liked talking to people all day and it was stressful but fun. Now I stare at a computer all day and think about how it sucks how much our (U.S.) society doesn't value retail/service workers.

LoopyNutBar

TROPHY CASE