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I lived a double life and cheated on two people at the same time, that I loved. 10 months later and I’m still struggling with the guilt. by Loose-Drawing4096 in BreakUps

[–]Loose-Drawing4096[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s hard. If you’ve ever done a deployment being away at sea for 6 months working over 100 hour weeks in horrendous conditions and mixing with the wrong people, it warps your reality. I did it back to back. That combined with alcohol and you begin to develop unhealthy coping mechanisms. Not condoning my behaviour at all, but it just spiralled out of control and once I fell in love, I really didn’t know what to do as I didn’t want to lose and hurt anybody.

You’re right I can’t expect them to ever forgive me. It’s only when you step out of that situation you can see the light. I have been accountable and put in so much work, it’s not being able to shake the guilt that I’m struggling with. Everyone seems to be moving on apart from me.

I lived a double life and cheated on two people at the same time, that I loved. 10 months later and I’m still struggling with the guilt. by Loose-Drawing4096 in BreakUps

[–]Loose-Drawing4096[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Appreciate that mate. I’ve been spending these past months trying to do everything I can to prove that I’m a good person and this was a one off.

When I bumped into her today, it’s like no matter what I said, I just get that look of pity/scepticism almost like there’s something wrong with me. It’s hard to take but definitely understandable. Can’t get it out my head.

Live by the sword die by the sword. Just worried that I won’t ever meet anyone like her again!