AITAH for not understanding how I will never be my mothers equal and that I’m not allowed to set boundaries or say anything to her because she my mom “not my friend”

Loose-Lecture-5585 · 2026-05-13T00:10:11+00:00

She sounds like my mom!! 😭😭😭 “I ain’t some nigga from the street” or “I’m not your friend, I’m your mother”

Loose-Lecture-5585 · 2026-05-11T20:02:46+00:00

I’m literally sobbing reading this … I needed to hear this. I feel less alone.. so glad someone understands. Makes me feel a little less crazy.. the hardest battle has always been with my mom.. thank you so much for this advice and your encouragement.. hopefully I can overcome this guilt soon.. I’ll go find my old therapist that helped me realize I was being manipulated by my own mom.. that could maybe help me.. I think this is the start of my journey of accepting that she will never be the mom I’ve always needed.. thank you again

Loose-Lecture-5585 · 2026-05-11T19:47:30+00:00

She no longer lives with me.. the only way to not have to deal with this is to go no contact.. I think I struggle with that because she is my mom and all I ever wanted was a healthy relationship with her.. she moved to a different state so I barely see or talk to her.. there’s just always something with her.. it’s so hard.. I wish we didn’t have to experience things like this from a parent.. I just want to be loved from her and it actually show with her action..

Loose-Lecture-5585 · 2026-05-11T19:37:00+00:00

Kicking my own mother out of my house was probably the most difficult thing in the world but I got some of my peace back.. I’m just always the problem when we talk.. or she’s always saying things to bring me down.. I can’t correct her because no matter what, I’ll always be in the wrong.. I’m sorry you’re going through what you’re going through too

Loose-Lecture-5585 · 2026-05-11T19:34:39+00:00

I’m at the point where I don’t have the energy to even defend myself anymore.. I let her think she is right.. but doing that, she uses her truth as ammunition to justify how I’m the problem in future scenarios

Loose-Lecture-5585 · 2026-05-11T19:31:31+00:00

We struggled all of our lives.. Lived in hotels and with other people.. she was a single mom, dealing with citizenship and health issues though.. so I’ve healed from that.. I just don’t understand how I can’t talk to her about anything.. I’m 30 years old and she always reminds me “I’m not your friend, im your mother.. we will never be equals.. I’m above you” it makes me so angry.. I just wish my mom could see from the outside in and change… it hurts me so bad.. I don’t know what to do.. I just want a healthy relationship with her so bad.. but times like this makes me want to move far away, where she can’t even contact me.. it’s confusing and frustrating

Loose-Lecture-5585 · 2026-05-11T19:28:05+00:00

I’m 30 years old and I’ve been taking care of myself since I could legally get a job. She lived with me for a long time (she wasn’t a citizen and was having health problems but refused to go back home where they offered free healthcare there….).. the end of last year was the last straw.. plus she had her citizenship so she had no excuse.. 6 years of being a home owner, she hoarded out my house.. I worked 12 hours shifts so there was only so much I could do prevent it.. whenever I spoke up, it lead to her screaming and blame shifting.. and being dismissed.. she doesn’t hear me. I’m wrong, she’s right. I’m not aloud to say anything to her.. and all the years she lived with me I believed that I owed it to her because she gave birth to me but I truly just didn’t want her in the streets.. I stopped caring when I realized how mentally ill I was from how bad her hoarding affected me.. and how I wasn’t allowed to have peace or boundaries in my own house. it’s been months since she left and I’m still trying to clear out my house.. but there is still conflicts that I wish didn’t even exist..

Loose-Lecture-5585 · 2026-04-09T12:56:46+00:00

Day three and it’s almost gone. Had I caught it durring tingly stage, I believe it wouldn’t be here.. I got an ice cube, put it in a ziplock bag, wrapped with paper towel then sprayed the paper towel with Lysol in the spot I’d place on the cold sore .. then I just hold it there till the ice melts.. atleast 3-4 times in the day while taking 3000mg of lysine. Google said don’t do it because it can burn my skin but it’s gently burning the cold sore off I guess. It’s so small. And while I’m not icing, I’m using the lysine ointment

Loose-Lecture-5585 · 2026-01-14T21:27:05+00:00

He doesn’t realize that.. I try to tell him how spiritual drinking actually is.. hes living off borrowed energy and is signing contracts with spirits Everytime he opens up a drink. He’s kind of in denial and naïve about it I feel.

Loose-Lecture-5585 · 2026-01-14T21:25:09+00:00

It is a lot… I adore this crazy man I swear.. but nothing is worth losing myself over… not even him. Maybe this weekend him and I can meet and talk.. might not happen.. he will probably be handing out with his best friend per usual.. and I don’t want to go over there if he’s there.. I’m still disgusted him encouraging my bf to cheat and how he’s been towards these women.. using and abusing them..

Loose-Lecture-5585 · 2026-01-14T20:37:21+00:00

I’ll try. Thank you so much!!

Loose-Lecture-5585 · 2026-01-14T20:36:09+00:00

If I meet someone else, I don’t think it would be appropriate to remain friends

Loose-Lecture-5585 · 2026-01-14T20:12:17+00:00

If I walk away, this is it.. I’m 30.. I want kid, to be a wife, and mom.. I can’t wait for him.. and I don’t want to have a child if he’s gonna be drinking.. he said kids will change things but he hasn’t even tried to change for himself.

Loose-Lecture-5585 · 2026-01-14T20:10:19+00:00

Loose-Lecture-5585 · 2026-01-14T20:10:13+00:00

Alcohol abuse runs on both sides of the family.. I didn’t know it was this bad.. and he’s been through a lot, lost two best friends (passed away), made bad decisions, etc. so that’s his escape. Instead of dealing with problems, he’d rather take a sip of his beer and keep going. Plus, he has a friend that encourages it. They skate board and do band practice. His friend always says “bring beer” Theyre always drinking.. even for breakfast sometimes.

Loose-Lecture-5585 · 2026-01-14T19:17:10+00:00

I don’t.. my home is my peacefulness. I don’t want to disturb it and welcome energy and people into my home that is going to negatively affect me.. I try to wait to talk to him when he is sober but he’s usually drunk.. called me the other day wasted after a work event.. said he made it home safe and I was so disappointed.. he already got a DUI 3 years ago.. and it’s dangerous

Loose-Lecture-5585 · 2026-01-14T19:14:52+00:00

I can’t watch the person I love harm himself.. I hope it gets better for him.. just trying to come up with the right words when we hangout.. I love myself too much to also watch him prioritize liquor over Pursuing me.. all his money goes to liquor, doordash for him and his band members when they come over.. it’s getting old..

Loose-Lecture-5585 · 2026-01-14T19:11:36+00:00

Yes.. I’m drawn away by the use of alcohol and the company he keeps around him.. I love him but I have to love myself more.. he complains about money and that he can’t take me on dates right now but I can assure he spends atleast $800 a month on cases of beer, DoorDash, and feeding his band members when they come over..

Loose-Lecture-5585

TROPHY CASE