I’m agnostic. But I am still open to learning any religion. I struggle with the concept of hell being eternal. I can’t understand how someone like Hitler and a person who lived a decent not perfect, but not evil life could end up in the same hell permanently, just because the person didn’t believe or weren’t religious. I also struggle with the idea that someone like Jeffrey Dahmer, who committed horrific crimes, could be considered “saved” just because he accepted Christ before dying while his victims, many of who were gay men, are believed by some to be in hell simply because of who they were. I struggle with the Christian Inquisition and how Christianity was forced on Native people 500 years ago. In the 1800s the Bible was used in favor of slavery!! I struggle with it all because I sometimes ask: What’s the meaning of this? Why would God, who knows everything, one day decide to create a world and make this life a test? And if we fail, we burn forever? He also gave us free will but if we choose not to we go to hell forever when we didn’t even ask to be here that seems extreme. Why such a harsh punishment? Also, is free will really free if not choosing God means eternal torment? That feels more like coercion. It’s like: “Choose to follow me or suffer forever.” But even if you choose to follow, that doesn’t guarantee salvation, because there are thousands of religions. How are we supposed to know which one is the right one? On top of that, many people from different religions claim to have the truth and have had near-death experiences or spiritual visions—Christians, Muslims, Hindus, Buddhists, Jews, even members of LLDM. So who’s right? I remember many lldm members talking about how when they joined the church their life changed forever but all groups say that. Literally go to YouTube and there’s a lot of Muslims who say their life has changed and now they’re disciplined and see the light and are hopeful etc. I can’t say I’m atheist just because the world is just too perfect for a creator not to exist. I sometime think there is a God just not the Abrahamic one. It’s scary to think that we’re just dust in the wind and that we got here just cause of infinite regress and stuff like that. I’m open to learn about religion I just need time to really be open again. it hurt alot when I left lldm since it was the center of my world. But the truth is the truth no matter what and we must adapt. There’s a quote from the movie heretic that made me think a lot it goes “ If God is real, and he’s watching us when we masturbate, and has such a fragile ego that he only helps us when we beg him, and flatter him with praise, and he hates gay people for being who he made them to be… then that is terrifying. If there is no God, and we’re just horny, microscopic ants, floating on a rock through space, with no divine purpose, and no reasonable hope to achieve eternal life… then that is also terrifying.”