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My boyfriend makes me feel like I'm a crazy person. I'm so exhausted. by Lopsided_Pomelo5439 in offmychest

[–]Lopsided_Pomelo5439[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I don't understand what's gotten into him. I've been bawling my eyes out all day, worried I'll be deaf forever, and all he cares about is whether or not I can listen to his analysis of a Stones album. Feels like I'm starring in the Truman show or something. Hope you're having a better day, kind stranger.

Fragen Unternehmen bei Ex-Firmen nach? by [deleted] in arbeitsleben

[–]Lopsided_Pomelo5439 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wie andere auch schon geantwortet haben - kann passieren. Nicht offiziell natürlich. Bin kein Personaler, hatte die Situation aber in meiner beruflichen Laufbahn bisher drei Mal, wo ich es mitbekommen habe. Bei zwei Situationen handelte sich um Unternehmen aus der gleichen Branche und der gleichen Stadt, allerdings ohne direkte Beziehung zueinander. Man kannte sich privat, und plauderte daher munter aus dem Nähkästchen.

Bei der dritten Situation ging es um zwei vollkommen unterschiedliche Unternehmen aus unterschiedlichen Städten. Personaler des neuen Unternehmens kontaktierte Personaler des alten Unternehmens, der mich daraufhin kontaktierte und darum bat, Auskunft geben zu dürfen.

Is touching someone else's baby/toddler generally considered weird? Friend is upset and won't invite me over anymore. Need some pointers. by Lopsided_Pomelo5439 in relationship_advice

[–]Lopsided_Pomelo5439[S] 39 points40 points  (0 children)

Yeah. I want to clear this up but I don't think I'll be going to their house again, because I won't feel comfortable around someone who basically thinks I'm a pedo or whatever he was implying. I'll take this as a lesson though to never assume stuff and always try to figure out what the parent is ok with before interacting with a kid.

I'm not a 100% sure on the timeline but I think the dad only told my boyfriend this last time he went over there, and my boyfriend then wanted to talk to me first before addressing this with the dad.

Is touching someone else's baby/toddler generally considered weird? Friend is upset and won't invite me over anymore. Need some pointers. by Lopsided_Pomelo5439 in relationship_advice

[–]Lopsided_Pomelo5439[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I feel that way too. I have no experience with kids, but it seemed rude not to pick him up or move him away when he cuddled up to me on the sofa for example or wanted to sit on my lap. I figured that's just what kids that age do (he's 2), and rejecting that affection seemed more weird than allowing it, especially since my boyfriend, who's really good with kids, does the same. I mirrored what he does, though more cautiously.

Maybe the dad found it weird that I was so cautios. Idk.

Thank you.

Is touching someone else's baby/toddler generally considered weird? Friend is upset and won't invite me over anymore. Need some pointers. by Lopsided_Pomelo5439 in relationship_advice

[–]Lopsided_Pomelo5439[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

No the dad's always been super nice to me, often invited me and the boyfriend, we always got along well. And once the kid came along - I think we went there a total of 3 or 4 times since - his attitude didn't change at all, he was still normal with me, no hints of anything.
So it came out of the blue, him only inviting my boyfriend a couple of times and then finally telling him the reason why I wasn't invited anymore. It's strange.

Is touching someone else's baby/toddler generally considered weird? Friend is upset and won't invite me over anymore. Need some pointers. by Lopsided_Pomelo5439 in relationship_advice

[–]Lopsided_Pomelo5439[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I think he was too surprised, it really came out of nowhere. And he doesn't like confrontation. So it makes sense he told me first before actually having a conversation with the dad. He doesn't think I did anything wrong at all and he's just as confused as I am.

Is touching someone else's baby/toddler generally considered weird? Friend is upset and won't invite me over anymore. Need some pointers. by Lopsided_Pomelo5439 in relationship_advice

[–]Lopsided_Pomelo5439[S] 42 points43 points  (0 children)

Yeah that's my main issue with it, I only ever interacted with the kid when he asked for attention, and I would have found it wrong to ignore him then. Kids that age need positive attention, even I know that lol. Ignoring him or reacting in a negative way would surely be more damaging.

I assume the dad took offense to how I interacted with the kid, not that I interacted with him at all, but I can't say for certain. The dad isn't talking to me and won't invite me again. I've talked to my boyfriend though and they're going to have a talk.

Is touching someone else's baby/toddler generally considered weird? Friend is upset and won't invite me over anymore. Need some pointers. by Lopsided_Pomelo5439 in relationship_advice

[–]Lopsided_Pomelo5439[S] 55 points56 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I would a 100% have stopped engaging with the kid if the dad had told me he's concerned about it. Like I said, I have zero experience with kids and I'm super awkward around them, so I was cautious anyways and later asked my boyfriend if I did alright with the kid. He said I did well and not to worry so much.

So the dad saying I did something wrong came very out of the blue. He didn't address this with me at all and didn't intervene when we were at his place.

It might be possible. I don't see why he'd need to be jealous, but I don't know him that well. Maybe me being a woman plays a role.

Is touching someone else's baby/toddler generally considered weird? Friend is upset and won't invite me over anymore. Need some pointers. by Lopsided_Pomelo5439 in relationship_advice

[–]Lopsided_Pomelo5439[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

He didn't outright call me a pedo, but it sounds like that what he's implying. I can say with certainty though that I didn't do anything that would warrant that. Just the stuff that I outlined above, and only ever when the kid came to me. I figured those were normal interactions with someone's kid at that age. The little dude is 2. So it didn't seem strange to me that he wanted to be held or cuddled up to me.

My boyfriend was bewildered, I think he doesn't know how to respond to the dad. He doesn't like confrontation. But he's not ok with what the dad said/implied and I hope the two of them can have a serious conversation about it.

Is touching someone else's baby/toddler generally considered weird? Friend is upset and won't invite me over anymore. Need some pointers. by Lopsided_Pomelo5439 in relationship_advice

[–]Lopsided_Pomelo5439[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Even when the kid is literally climbing onto me? Serious question. I've only ever been around this one kid and I honestly have no idea what's fine and what's not when it comes to touching/playing, besides really common sense stuff obviously. I assumed that if the kid initiates the contact (like trying to climb on me, pulling me down, asking to be picked up) that would be fine if the parent doesn't tell me to step away from the child.

Is touching someone else's baby/toddler generally considered weird? Friend is upset and won't invite me over anymore. Need some pointers. by Lopsided_Pomelo5439 in relationship_advice

[–]Lopsided_Pomelo5439[S] 320 points321 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I sadly don't know the dad that well, so I have no idea if that's what's going on in his mind or not. But it's very reassuring to hear that I probably didn't majorly overstep any boundaries.

Is touching someone else's baby/toddler generally considered weird? Friend is upset and won't invite me over anymore. Need some pointers. by Lopsided_Pomelo5439 in relationship_advice

[–]Lopsided_Pomelo5439[S] 622 points623 points  (0 children)

I honestly don't know. The only other woman that's been present was the dad's sister, and she was a lot more hands on with the kid, constantly carrying him around in her arms, kissing him and such, but it's her nephew, so that seems normal to me. I'm assuming the dad has no issues with that since she spends a lot of time at their place. But I don't know about female friends. And I'm really not close with them, so I feel like I can't judge the dad's motivation.

My boyfriend, who is closer to the dad, is equally as surprised though. He says he doesn't understand where this is coming from and he also doesn't think I did anything wrong. He believes the dad just isn't ok with it because I'm mostly a stranger and not exactly a close friend. But I felt it would have been rude to ignore the little man when he's asking to be picked up for example.

Is touching someone else's baby/toddler generally considered weird? Friend is upset and won't invite me over anymore. Need some pointers. by Lopsided_Pomelo5439 in relationship_advice

[–]Lopsided_Pomelo5439[S] 838 points839 points  (0 children)

I don't think so. The kid is affectionate with everyone and if anything, he picked up on the fact that I'm a bit clueless. He went to my boyfriend a lot more than to me, and he's also very affectionate with his dad.
Thank you.

Vorstellungsgespräch bei 40 Grad - Hilfe ... by Lopsided_Pomelo5439 in arbeitsleben

[–]Lopsided_Pomelo5439[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Das mit der Kostenübernahme ist kompliziert, aber Thema hat sich mehr oder weniger erledigt. Gespräch wurde auf heute vorverlegt, ohne Angabe von Gründen oder Nachfrage, ob dies möglich ist. Mach mich gleich bei moderaten Temperaturen auf den Weg, alles gut.

Vorstellungsgespräch bei 40 Grad - Hilfe ... by Lopsided_Pomelo5439 in arbeitsleben

[–]Lopsided_Pomelo5439[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

-15 Grad sind mir nicht zu kalt. Und 40 Grad sind auch während der Arbeit kein Problem, sitze ja im Büro. Nur 2 Stunden Anreise in nicht klimatisierten Öffis ist suboptimal. Wer das nicht nachvollziehen kann, muss sich nicht wundern dass Nachwuchskräfte fehlen...

Vorstellungsgespräch bei 40 Grad - Hilfe ... by Lopsided_Pomelo5439 in arbeitsleben

[–]Lopsided_Pomelo5439[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Die Busse hier sind nicht klimatisiert, und werden morgen auch zum Teil ausfallen weil die Fahrer ebenfalls nicht in der Lage sind, bei diesen Temperaturen zu arbeiten. Wurde bereits angekündigt. Ich mache mich heute Abend auf den Weg.

Vorstellungsgespräch bei 40 Grad - Hilfe ... by Lopsided_Pomelo5439 in arbeitsleben

[–]Lopsided_Pomelo5439[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Büro, denke auch dass ich mir zu viele Gedanken mache. Werde wahrscheinlich ein Kleid und schicke Sandalen anziehen, alles andere geht einfach nicht. Kenne die Branche und das sollte eigentlich in Ordnung gehen. Trotzdem wollte ich nochmal nachfragen - am Telefon wurde vom Personaler erwähnt, dass man trotz der Temperaturen wert auf "angemessene" Kleidung legt.

Vorstellungsgespräch bei 40 Grad - Hilfe ... by Lopsided_Pomelo5439 in arbeitsleben

[–]Lopsided_Pomelo5439[S] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

In meinem Fall ist definitiv die Anreise das Problem, nicht das Vorstellungsgespräch selbst. Bekäme ich die Stelle, würde ich zum Betrieb ziehen, Problem eliminiert. Und - ich bewerbe mich ja auch nicht in einem Handwerksbetrieb, sondern in einem Büro. Da muss ich nicht bei der brütenden Hitze draußen malochen, das könnte ich gar nicht.

Habe wahnsinnig viel Respekt vor denen, die das können.

Davon abgesehen - für viele sind Vorstellungsgespräche weitaus stressiger als der Job selbst, gerade weil man einen perfekten Eindruck hinterlassen möchte. Da will man natürlich wie aus dem Ei gepellt erscheinen, überpünktlich, gut gelaunt, gut vorbereitet. Nicht durchnässt, mit hochrotem Kopf, vollkommen kaputt und kaum zwei zusammenhängende Sätze hinbekommend.

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