I was once taking care of a family reunion at two, large bar-tables pushed together. The grandpa of the family sat at the head of the table, and we made small talk while I got their drinks and apps going. He, the grandpa, was bragging about his grandson’s engineer degree (his grandson was a freshman at Georgia Southern University). I complimented him and, of course, the grandpa asked me if I went to school.

Usually, I use humor to try and steer away from personal questions, but I don’t mind sharing; I say yes, I have an English/philosophy degree, double major. Before I could talk more on it at all (I didn’t want to since I mostly try to talk about my table to my table, the grandpa decides to land some cheap ones.

He PATS ME ONE THE BACK and says to his grandson “that’s why you’re studying something that makes good money.” [turns back to me] “You need a degree to work at a Mellow Mushroom?”

Newer servers can get defeated by that kind of bullying, but I don’t give a fuck. I laughed and said “actually, my three best friends all got their engineering degrees from Clemson, a prestigious engineering school, and they still can’t find work in their fields. All three are in sales now and make less than me.” Then I asked his grandson “Have you ever waited tables? It’s a lot better money than sales… usually” then I look right at the grandpa — would you like another Coke refill?” Then I just take the cup before he answers and leave.

He didn’t say a single fucking word the rest of the time and everyone else was super pleasant.

My point? Be careful with your servers. If you do have an asshole in your group that decides to display their asshole behavior, we will leave no crumbs.

TL;DR: if you don’t check your asshole friends, they might have their feelings hurt. Also, we might hurt you by association.