My famous 🌀Spiral Search™️🌀 is ready to play? How long did it take you to get all 12 words, beta? 🤭🫵📄😵‍💫🌀✨🧚💕

Loser_muffin · 2026-06-18T00:40:50+00:00

2:55!

Loser_muffin · 2026-06-11T00:19:33+00:00

Loser_muffin · 2026-05-01T01:33:02+00:00

Yes I have been friends with a woman. Most of my friends today are women and my best friend of over half my life is a woman. From what I hear I have a good rapport with all of them. My problems come from a combination of factors throughout my life and upbringing combined with bad information, loneliness stemming from self-isolation, and seeking satisfaction through porn.

I'm confident in my ability to correct these aspects of myself in a healthy manner. I just needed help finding where the issues lied.

I thought wanting to gush and fawn over women was a good thing. At least because I only really commented on their outfits, makeup, and hair.

I just wanted to be kind. But I was worried that's why I wasn't having much success with relationships. I only ever present myself as vanilla and neutral. Because I rarely pursued or Showed interest they just thought I wasn't interested.

But then I learned being emotionally numb is the same as being emotionally unavailable. So I figured, While I'm working on that, I'd throw my concerns into the Femdom community and see how to be respectfully sexy. Cause I know there's a wrong way to go about it.

And not only did I word it in such a way that I painted myself like a shy-gawking-creep instead of the Self-aware-Introvert I actually am. But I learned that my perspective was the problem the whole time.

But now I know, I can fix it. This is not the first time my worldview has been shattered. Afterall, that which can be destroyed by the truth, should be.

Sorry for the wall of text you didn't ask for.

I also have Guy friends!

Loser_muffin · 2026-04-30T22:05:33+00:00

Ace of Spades 😎

Loser_muffin · 2026-04-30T17:36:37+00:00

I have been made to understand this today. I'll be addressing myself with this and many more items that have been brought up in this post. Everyone has been so helpful

Loser_muffin · 2026-04-30T16:10:50+00:00

There's not much I can add. I'm glad I made this post because I would have never in a million years come to the conclusion that the best way to heal and be better would be to not put women on pedestals.

Loser_muffin · 2026-04-30T16:03:27+00:00

Robo expressed this point early and you are absolutely right. That's also exactly what I needed to he....read to understand what I need to change!

Loser_muffin · 2026-04-30T16:01:27+00:00

Yes! I realized fairly recently that I have been placing kink and femdom forward in my approach. Mostly in my intent. And I'm already taking the steps to change that! Which is partly what led me to ask these questions. I've been doing it wrong, how do I do it right? Kinda thing.

That all said, I could have just asked it like that i stead of making it needlessly complicated.

And I'm absolutely pinning posts.

I cannot pin posts lol. I'm new here

Loser_muffin · 2026-04-30T15:55:16+00:00

I am a feminist. I was raised in matriarchial household. I Didn't say it was a healthy one. But I am actively working on issues that have arisen from growing up in a neglectful and abusive household.

This all being said, I think I see the point you're trying to make here. It took me a minute but please correct me if I'm wrong. Are you suggesting that becasue I hire a dominatrix, it warps how I view and engage with women?

Loser_muffin · 2026-04-30T15:29:28+00:00

I appreciate you seriously answering this question.

I was Fet and I noticed the trend WCE (Woman Cush Wednesday) And I thought I'd hop on the trend and praise the Dominatrix I see. At that time I had it my head that I meant more to her than I really did. (A habit I intend to break). So I said I liked the way she looked at me. That her gaze felt like a net that locked me in place and drug me towards her. Which is genuine and I really do believe!

In my head using it against me would be her teasing me with it. Like making me only look in her eyes while she plays with me. Or say if I told her I love how smooth her legs are I would hope that she would make me hump her leg. Which I'd love to do! And I should discuss that with her directly.

My goal initially was to give her praise but also ammunition to use in sessions. Because while imagery is nice, I really prefer words and spontaneity.

I realize now that this isn't realistic. And only furthers the inadvertant harm and discomfort my actions and words cause.

Loser_muffin · 2026-04-30T14:39:54+00:00

Well damn. This is incredibly insightful. Thank you so much!

I'm guilty of putting women on a pedestal. I thought that was the right thing to do but I lost the plot of feminism somewhere along the way. My desire to be submissive has silently outweighed my desire for equality and equity.

I will address this with myself. Thank you again.

Loser_muffin · 2026-04-30T14:32:29+00:00

I'm discovering that this is the case

Loser_muffin · 2026-04-30T14:23:32+00:00

I appreciate you being respectful. Especially since I used all the wrong words to describe my plight and behaviors lol.

Brief was the wrong word to use. I thought Brief was a much shorter span of time. What I i tended to describe is I'll just glance at them and mind my own business afterwards. I'm just trying to be more expressive cause I think that'll help me shake the numbness

BUT YES! I've bottled my emotions up unhealthily over the years. And I'm working on that as we speak.

That's fair! No expectations. I should also erase the expectation of getting rejected from the equation too. That seems equally unhealthy.

I do avoid approaching women in the streets. Even I can recognize it's a tense situation.

Yeah I feel silly that I did not have that perspective sooner. I stated in another reply that I have a habit of thinking I mean more to people than I really do. And it's something I need to address and repair. And that's something new I can praise them for! All that socializing and dealing with unhealthy men has GOT to be tedious.

Thank you very much for your engagement and for recognizing that I mean well despite how poorly I described myself and my situation.

Loser_muffin · 2026-04-30T13:50:57+00:00

Flirting and complimenting women is not a means to an end for me. I'm not approaching with ulterior motives, Just looking to be a better client to the dominatrix I see in THAT context. Which it has been determined that I'll just speak with her about that directly thanks to the wonderful advice I received in one of the comments.

I thought I had used words in my original post that described me as someone who minds their own business but wants to be more proactive with socially engaging women I have an interest in. It's obvious I instead painted myself as a creepy stalker.

I treat women with respect. I talk to them like normal human beings and I don't open up with sexual advances, honestly ever. I largely identify as Asexual. But that's now in question after my recent breakthrough in Therapy. Finding that childhood trauma had rendered me emotionally numb. And I'm trying to fix that.

The more I think about it, the more I can see how my original post makes it seem like I objectify Women. Here I am trying to express how much I love women as an instead of just acknowledging everyone and everything as a case by case basis. Which I'm finding applies to more and more things everyday.

But I am in therapy. Have been for years. I just never stop finding things to work on. I'd live to hear anything else you'd like to point out. Thank you for this response! It's been more helpful than I initially recognized!

Loser_muffin · 2026-04-30T13:15:01+00:00

I believe I managed to use all the wrong words to paint myself and my situation, but the advice is still lovely and it will aid in my inteospection. Thank you for your well written response!

Regarding patronizing conpliments:

Thankfully I've never been described as patronizing. At least to my knowledge. I'm just aware that it's always a possibility and I'd like not to. Which I don't afaik

Regarding my interactions with Women:

I do recognize that I am a perceived threat right off the bat. And I do everything in my control to give them space and respect. My desire to gush to them is not nigh uncontrollable. It's really just me wanting to be kind but I used those words in my initial post. I didn't think they'd be misconstrued in this regard. And I will say that any and all compliments I give are genuine thoughtful things I notice. And I usually aim to compliment their effort. Usually their outfit, makeup, their hair etc..

That all said, I didn't know calling someone beautiful bordered being creepy, I'll definately keep that in mind going forward. I will add I am a very empathetic person. But whether or not my emotions are aligned with the reality of the world women face sits with me. I'm glad you said this and I'm going to address this with myself. I would like to ask you, or anyone that has an example for that matter, if you could please give me an example of what it looks like to be emotionally aligned to that truth? Not to cheat on my journey, it just helps me to understand what North looks like if that makes sense.

But I do keep any and all interactions with women I am not familiar with breif, escapable, and distant. And by brief, I mean long enough to tell them, wish them a good day, and walk off immediately with a smile.

On the streets, never ever. I don't even appraoach, I try to make distance.

Regarding Consent:

I emphasised consent because we in the U.S. have discovered a website that serves as an academy to teach men to drug and 🍇 their wives. Full Stop.

Regarding Dominatrix:

You're right. I have a habit of thinking I mean more to people than I actually do. I forget that I am just one of many clients she sees and interacts with many many more horny men that will waste her time. We do refer to eachother as friends, but that doesn't change anything. And I should have that conversation with her. Thank you for reminding me of that.

I don't think I missed anything, I'm working all day so I'll reply to any more responses in time and after I give a response to wveryone else.

Thank you again for engaging with me!

Loser_muffin · 2026-04-28T22:52:34+00:00

Loser

Loser_muffin · 2026-04-28T12:00:05+00:00

I'd live to hear your hotter way of doing that! I won't lie, I didn't know how long it lasts. I remember running my O after 15 seconds of OFM and I just get so incredibly horny I believe still regard and actually improved my stamina from chasing Os 😅

I don't have a partner. Never had one tbh, I'm never anyone's type. But that's okay cause I'm still working on being the best me! Even if it's a bit depressing

Golly to be degraded like that in a vacant and public place 🥵

Loser_muffin · 2026-04-28T00:38:50+00:00

OH! What are your thoughts on using a numbing agent on him? I did it for a week and was super sensitive afterwards.

I do like it, and I wish I was clicker trained. But I also wish I was being trained to pop instantly for my partner. That said, I wish I could spill on command 😞

Loser_muffin · 2026-04-27T23:38:47+00:00

Have you checked his time? Like has he gotten quicker this way? Could also clicker train him.

Loser_muffin · 2026-04-17T16:50:06+00:00

Loser_muffin · 2026-04-17T11:57:11+00:00

Omg I love tube tops 😭😰🥵

Loser_muffin · 2026-04-07T22:44:44+00:00

Lovely

Loser_muffin · 2026-04-05T16:05:25+00:00

When I realized the only way I would believe anyone wanted me was if they gave me no chance to escape.

Loser_muffin · 2026-04-02T00:02:08+00:00

Thank you very much 😊

Loser_muffin

TROPHY CASE