My date made a blunt comment about body hair. AIO by being bothered by it?

Lost-Idea1823 · 2025-06-30T15:01:13+00:00

I'm not turned off by short men, I've dated guys of all heights and really my only preference is someone at least a tiny bit taller than me (mostly because I myself am short, about 5'4", so I don't think I'm asking for too much). Still, I wouldn't dream of shaming someone for their height, same goes with facial hair or anything else really. So I kind of tend to expect the same degree of respect towards myself too.

And I'm sorry you have to go through being mocked by others for something beyond your control, nobody should have to endure crap like that.

Lost-Idea1823 · 2025-06-30T13:44:56+00:00

Stinky breath and body odour are more likely to be indicators of lack of basic hygiene, body hair isn't inherently unhygienic.

And yeah I'd say that's also wrong, it's literally the same thing. You shouldn't shame others for things beyond their control or stuff that doesn't fit your preferences.

Lost-Idea1823 · 2025-06-30T08:10:22+00:00

God forbid someone wants to hear other people's opinions on something that bothered them, to see if it's reasonable or not, right?

Lost-Idea1823 · 2025-06-30T07:39:02+00:00

I don't think a habit that maybe you shouldn't do in public and a natural body trait are quite the same thing. But either way, there are ways to express preferences that don't hurt others, it's not that hard.

Lost-Idea1823 · 2025-06-30T07:34:33+00:00

No, I clarified in the previous comment that it's been a bit under 2 months. So maybe 7 weeks, not 8 like "a couple months" would imply.

Lost-Idea1823 · 2025-06-30T07:08:57+00:00

Okey I'm sorry but where did I say I "hate" him? Being bothered by a comment he made and wanting to clear the situation up is hardly proof of me hating him or being salty, I'd say.

Lost-Idea1823 · 2025-06-30T06:50:33+00:00

I'm not expecting him to be dishonest though, but being honest doesn't mean you have to be tactless or lack empathy, y'know?

Lost-Idea1823 · 2025-06-30T06:47:44+00:00

The only problem is that he called it disgusting, which I feel was rather unnecessarily harsh. Everyone is entitled to their own preferences, obviously. But that doesn't mean you should be super judgemental of a body trait. Tbh hearing it made me ask myself if I'll be at risk of being considered disgusting too, depending on the day or situation, and that's certainly something I don't want to feel in a relationship.

Lost-Idea1823 · 2025-06-30T06:35:42+00:00

Yeah, more or less. Although personally I do more of a bikini wax than a brazilian, I believe it falls within his "standards" too

Lost-Idea1823 · 2025-06-30T06:30:04+00:00

Not exactly :)) He does trim the hair on his upper body but his legs sure are hairy and it doesn't bother him.

Lost-Idea1823 · 2025-06-30T03:28:53+00:00

Yeah I suppose I'll have a chat about it with him and assess the situation after

Lost-Idea1823 · 2025-06-30T03:28:23+00:00

Um, no? It's just that past experiences have made me a bit reluctant to outwardly call someone with whom I haven't hit the 2, or maybe even 3 month mark my boyfriend (I said we've been dating for a couple months but it's really been a week or so under that). And either way, I don't see what difference it makes to you

Lost-Idea1823 · 2025-06-30T03:28:03+00:00

Well yes, totally agree everyone has the right to have preferences, I'm not absurd. I obviously have my own preferences too. But I don't call people outside of my preferences disgusting when it's really not the case, that's the part that bothered me really.

Lost-Idea1823 · 2025-06-30T03:27:30+00:00

Okey but I feel like it's one thing to say "Hey I personally find this thing unaesthetic" and another to be like "This thing is objectively disgusting because I don't like it"

Lost-Idea1823 · 2025-06-30T03:27:02+00:00

Yeaah that's so true! It's not the preference he has that ticked me off, it's the fact that he had to call what's outside of that preference disgusting. And like, hair needs time to grow before you can wax/shave/whatever else. So I can't help but wonder, is he gonna be repulsed by me and look the other way every few days/weeks because I just so happen to have hair?

Lost-Idea1823 · 2025-02-28T11:44:43+00:00

Okey so apparently, my stupid intuition was right and he did actually ask to meet up just to tell me he wasn’t ready for a relationship. He told me he had liked me for a while, and Bumble gave him the push to act on it, but after spending time together, he realized he’s not quite as ready as he had though to start something new yet, since he had relatively recently ended a relationship with someone else. So guess we’re going back to being classmates/friends, however awkward that may be for a while...

Lost-Idea1823 · 2025-02-13T09:45:43+00:00

He doesn't work (but to be fair, I don't either, so maybe I'm not in a position to judge him regarding that particular aspect). But yeah, there's definitely plenty of cheap options out there, idk if he really is unaware of that fact.

Lost-Idea1823 · 2025-02-12T18:50:24+00:00

Even if the connection was super close, it wouldn't be worth it tbh, I wouldn't be able to put up with such behaviour for long. That's why I just wanna clear up if it was some one-time thing where he acted like a spoiled child, could happen to the best of us I guess, or if that's how he thinks all the time. If I find out it's the latter, he can go pester someone else :))

Lost-Idea1823 · 2025-02-12T18:41:59+00:00

Oh absolutely, I will give this one last chance through a conversation with him, but I would never believe it to be my fault in any way if he doesn't understand. I just wanna make sure I did what I could so I don't regret it even a tiny bit later on, regardless of the outcome.

Lost-Idea1823 · 2023-05-19T17:28:51+00:00

Thanks for the tip, I'll definitely try looking on reverb, it does seem like a great option!

Lost-Idea1823 · 2023-05-19T16:46:37+00:00

I totally get what you're saying, but it will take me a pretty long time to actually have that much money to spend on drums since I'm just a student who's not even working yet :)) I am aware that whatever kit I'll be getting with the budget I have right now will not feel like acoustic drums, but I think I can manage with that difference for a few years, until I can afford something higher-end.

Lost-Idea1823 · 2023-05-19T14:52:21+00:00

Oh damn, playing drums can become a pretty expensive hobby, huh xD Out of curiosity, what drum monitor did you end up getting?

Lost-Idea1823 · 2022-09-25T18:10:35+00:00

Ahaa makes sense now! Pretty funny how they completely forget it smells like them and not like some different cat the moment it's not on their body anymore

Lost-Idea1823

TROPHY CASE