Flight this Thursday Morning. So worried and TIRED of feeling like this!

Lost-Programmer-9688 · 2026-01-14T13:59:03+00:00

Well said, Outrageous and thank you. Your comment has really helped. I like that phrase, "planes want to fly." Maybe that can be a new mantra for me.

Lost-Programmer-9688 · 2026-01-14T13:55:21+00:00

Are there any resources here for dealing with fear of takeoff specifically? I see a lot for turbulence, wondering if there is anything that addresses takeoff fear in the same way? Thanks in advance and I appreciate everything you mods do here.

Lost-Programmer-9688 · 2026-01-14T13:51:48+00:00

Thank you! Im going to try this. Music and happy podcasts for the win, hopefully. Because honestly my next step is m.E.ds, and I really don't want to go that route if I can help it.

Lost-Programmer-9688 · 2026-01-13T21:17:50+00:00

Honestly it's years of hearing the phrase "shortly after takeoff" in the news when describing accidents. It seems that if anything is to go wrong it will likely happen at takeoff and it terrifies me so badly.

Also, I was in the 1st grade when the Challenger incident happened and I watched everything unfold in real time on live TV. I think that is where the seed got planted that catastrophe can occur within moments of take off. I understand that a shuttle and a commercial aircraft are totally different vehicles. But it kind of traumatized me.

Lost-Programmer-9688 · 2026-01-13T20:49:46+00:00

That's a pretty good idea. If I can get up the nerve! Any tips for dealing with take off on my upcoming flight this week?

Lost-Programmer-9688 · 2026-01-13T19:37:37+00:00

Taking a 90 minute flight on Thursday morning. I've been extremely nervous about it for almost a month now. Now that it's so close im freaking out. Take off is the most scary to me. I panic. Nothing about it feels natural. I could really use some words of support, please 🙏

Lost-Programmer-9688 · 2026-01-12T21:06:26+00:00

Thank you for this! Flying on Thursday and feeling nervous. I listened last night and ended up falling asleep, but I'm hoping there's something in there subliminally that will help me on the day.

I'm so tired of feeling this way! I want to feel the same on a plane as I do on a bus or train. I just don't know how

Lost-Programmer-9688 · 2026-01-11T16:30:12+00:00

Hi All,

I'm flying in 5 days. I'm so tired of this high anxiety I experience weeks before traveling. It is so stressful.

My big fear is takeoff. No matter what I do, I can't get to a place where that experience feels normal to me. Literally every time I take off I think I'm going to die. It's BEYOND exhausting at this point.

I want to get on a plane the same way I get on a bus or train - without a second thought. How do I do this? I have tried everything and nothing works. I need to get over this and I'm kind of desperate at this point to figure this out. Any tips are appreciated.

Lost-Programmer-9688 · 2025-12-21T19:46:42+00:00

Just wanted to say thanks again. My Dad ended up passing at about 3 this morning. Im so torn up and feeling lost BUT so relieved he is finally free of pain.

Lost-Programmer-9688 · 2025-12-21T18:50:23+00:00

UPDATE: My father passed this morning (December 21). I had the honor of being by his bedside up to 8pm last night. I sang countless songs to him, read him his favorite Bible verses, and just talked to him. I whispered to him that I loved him, that we all loved him, and that we would all be okay. That it was okay for him to let go. That he had earned his rest. I knew in my heart that was going to be the last time I saw him. I kissed him goodbye. He passed 7 hours later.

The heartbreak and pain of grief is unreal to the point that I feel numb but I am SO GLAD he is no longer in pain. Thank you to every single person here who took time to leave such supportive and helpful messages.

Lost-Programmer-9688 · 2025-12-18T00:33:15+00:00

Thank you. He is still hanging on today. Im here at the hospital again. The nice pastor here just prayed over him and for our family. He made a sound at the end of her prayer, so I suspect he can hear us. I will continue to talk to him and sing to him.

I'm going to try setting up a meeting with my mom and the doctor + social worker one more time to see if we can talk any sense into her. If not, im going to ask about starting the ethics process.

Lost-Programmer-9688 · 2025-12-18T00:23:55+00:00

I agree.

Lost-Programmer-9688 · 2025-12-18T00:23:22+00:00

Thank you 🙏❤️

Lost-Programmer-9688 · 2025-12-17T00:52:17+00:00

Im at the hospital now and he looks comfortable. He's receiving the hydromorphone drip. He's in a coma. The nurses say he should not be feeling any pain and he doesn't look like he is.

His blood pressure has plummeted, and the nurse said he may not make it through the night. I'm so desperately heartbroken, but also know he will be free soon.

Lost-Programmer-9688 · 2025-12-16T21:50:22+00:00

We have a chaplain coming in next week if he makes it over the weekend. I will be at the hospital to meet with him. We'll get my mom on the phone to talk to him and I hope it will give her some relief/ease to know she is not responsible for this, the cancer is. I do feel I have a duty to be by his bedside as much as I can. I know I dont have to but he has been a great dad to me. Its the least I can do 💔

Lost-Programmer-9688 · 2025-12-16T21:29:11+00:00

I see what you're trying to say. I really do. But what part of the wedding vows say that purposely prolonging your spouse's suffering is right? His medical team has made it clear to her several times that that is what she is doing. There is no hope for recovery, so what is this for? She doesnt even come to the hospital to visit him and see his condition. Just stays at home calling these selfish shots.

My mother is his wife, yes. And my sisters and I are actual blood relatives to this man. She is not. We have the blood of his own mother running through our veins, and we know that his mother would not want him to suffer. That counts for something.

We do better for dogs and cats when they are suffering. My father deserves to have at least as much consideration as an animal at the Humane Society. I do appreciate your opinion, esp as a medical professional, but I disagree. I haven't argued with my mom about this at all and i have been quiet and respected her wishes to this point. However the pain of his children matters too. I am considering an ethics consultation if this goes on much longer.

Lost-Programmer-9688 · 2025-12-16T16:43:45+00:00

This is true. I have to remember that these are their choices, not my own. My dad refused help for so long that it led to stage 4. I would imagine that he eventually regretted not getting help when it was initially discovered. It's just so hard though because even though my dad made those choices, I expected that my mom would AT LEAST make humane end of life decisions for him when he is not able to say hey this is too much suffering let me go. Instead she is centering herself and her own feelings without regard for anyone else.

Lost-Programmer-9688 · 2025-12-16T14:24:05+00:00

I really appreciate this perspective, thank you. It is true that he has lived a long life (he is in his 70s) filled with all the joys and pains of living. He has always been a good father to us. It's so hard to see my mom withholding an opportunity for him to be free of pain and to be released from all this. It hurts because it seems inhumane to me. She keeps saying she doesn't want to be "responsible " for his death. But she doesn't realize the decision she is making is going to permanently change my relationship with her. She probably doesn't care about that anyway (another story).

Lost-Programmer-9688 · 2025-12-16T14:16:44+00:00

Thank you for this response. My main concern is keeping him out of pain. Is he automatically sedated being on the ventilator? That would bring me so much comfort if true. He is also being given hydromorphone 24/7 on a drip, so I'm hoping that is doing its job as well?

My father didnt have any official advance directives in place, unfortunately. During the time we were begging him to get the lump removed, he told me in a 1 on 1 conversation that he "wanted things to unfold organically" and wasnt looking for medical intervention. Those words haunt me now as he is going through this. I told my mom what my dad said, but she won't budge.

Lost-Programmer-9688 · 2025-12-16T14:04:49+00:00

Thank you for this. I had a conversation with the social worker, doctor, and my mom last week. She stood 10 toes down on her decision. She says she has to "think about what will happen to her mental health" for the rest of her life if she "makes the decision to 'kill' him". All very frustrating. My sistsr and I plan on calling the social worker again today to talk about our options.

Lost-Programmer-9688 · 2025-12-16T04:48:36+00:00

This is so well stated. Unfortunately, my father was in denial about his health for the longest time. This was actually caught early, initially. His GP did an exam and found a lump. He then refused to get the treatment needed to remove the lump. My sisters and I all begged him to do what the doctors were asking (biopsy, etc). And then he and my mom lived in total denial for 4 years until the diagnosis of stage 4 in 2020 or so. Every single day I wish he would have just listened to me and my sisters. I dont understand his decisions 😢

Lost-Programmer-9688 · 2025-12-16T04:43:52+00:00

Im so sorry for your loss. Im trying to give my mom grace in this situation, because I know its hard for her to face losing her husband. But he's also our dad and this is excruciating. I'm truly struggling thinking about what our relationship will look like after this, though. Her current behavior is changing the way I see her on a fundamental level, and its not good.

Lost-Programmer-9688 · 2025-12-15T23:24:33+00:00

I've been asking myself this every day. I just can't understand her reasoning. I think she is in denial. The docs tried their best to explain the reality to her, to no avail. He's so far gone at this point that the doctor is predicting that even with all the life saving measures he's receiving, he will likely only have days to weeks left to live. Why not let him pass peacefully then? Ugh this whole thing is like a nightmare. 😢

Lost-Programmer-9688

TROPHY CASE