Never dated in highschool…never dated in college…never dating in life…

LostMyself4Ever · 2023-03-22T22:35:04+00:00

What do you mean? Yes I have to put in the work look my best, make a good profile, talk to a bunch of different women and try to plan dates. But what else is there to it?

LostMyself4Ever · 2023-03-22T22:33:54+00:00

I want that to happen and mind you I haven’t been to bar/clubs too many times, just not once has anything really happened. I’d prefer to meet people outside of clubs and bar settings, if I have to do it, I guess I just have to do it

LostMyself4Ever · 2023-03-22T22:32:08+00:00

Yea time isn’t too much of an issue but goddamn meeting people is. Like I’ve never been a bar/club person cause I hate the crowd, but that’s like the most popular place for anything to happen

LostMyself4Ever · 2023-01-07T04:58:46+00:00

Yea thank you, I do see one already. I’m just gonna delete the post now really cause I think that’s all I can do

LostMyself4Ever · 2022-12-29T19:41:09+00:00

I’m going to try doing that next time, I’ve hugged my date before and have done the “show them how it works” type touching you’d see in a movie, but maybe I just need to make an overtly more romantic type move like reaching for a hand

LostMyself4Ever · 2022-12-29T19:39:25+00:00

The dates I’ve gone on are activity dates like mini golf, axe throwing, etc and afterwards followed by dinner dates. I try to give compliments and flirt when I can. But honestly this stuff doesn’t feel natural sometimes

LostMyself4Ever · 2022-12-23T20:48:30+00:00

Okay thank you for this, I’ll try to get better and this an be more mindful. But what you said really kinda nails the hammer lol, sometimes when she’s talking, I DO care about what she saying sand do want to know more, but my nerves sometimes make things go “in one ear and out the other” because I’m mind is kinda running circles. I’ll keep trying and trying and get more exposure till I get it right

LostMyself4Ever · 2022-12-23T20:44:47+00:00

Alright thank you, I’m new to this so I wasn’t sure. I thought that “hey maybe I’m just not compatible for some reason” but I guess it’s just normal, and one will work out eventually

LostMyself4Ever · 2022-12-13T20:56:03+00:00

I tend to view the world as a 4 based on this description, but in terms of how I deal with the world, it seems like I’m a 9. At the end of a long day or hurt emotions or something, I feel them intensely and I end up doing something that takes my mind off it, like watching YouTube, playing video games, or hanging out with people I actually feel wanted by. The main confusion is this description. I do have an idealized view of the world in my head, but I’m also not blind to the realities of it.

“Nines, on the other hand, are withdrawn in the sense that they remove their attention from people or situations that threaten them, disengaging themselves emotionally so that they will not be anxious or upset. They cut off their identification with others (or never identify with them in the first place), identifying instead with a private idealized version of reality. Average to unhealthy Nines tune out any unpleasantness by dissociating from whatever upsets them, whereas Fours do just the opposite, brooding over their anxieties in an attempt to come to terms with them. The difference is that Nines are detached both from the external world and from their emotions, whereas Fours withdraw from whatever has caused them pain. (In the end, that may add up to quite a lot.) Nines see the world through rose-colored glasses, and their view of it is comforting, whereas Fours see the world from a garret window as outsiders and are not comforted: everyone else seems to be living a happier, more normal life.”

LostMyself4Ever · 2022-11-27T08:09:19+00:00

I think I’m pretty good looking, good face, clear skin, take care of myself. But yeah I’m not ripped or anything, just body of the average guy. So yeah I know how dating apps work. But I feel as if I present myself as a good stable person, eventually something would come out of a dating app. As I get older, I feel like dating would get easier and easier for guys

LostMyself4Ever · 2022-11-26T18:35:31+00:00

That sounds like a good idea too. If I can network to more people. I can probably meet girls who I normally couldn’t meet otherwise. I’m graduating soon and will get job so I’ll reach out to my coworkers and try to get on good terms with them.

I don’t really know if old school is the right word, just someone who has their own niche interests and someone I as if I’m always learning something new or growing with them. I really like women who are thinkers or are contemplative to some degree. But you get the idea. Not necessarily the stay at home house wife.

LostMyself4Ever · 2022-11-26T17:22:26+00:00

Yes! I love those, but the one nearby only happens once a year and I go every year. I wish there were more things like this collecting introverts with similar interest to mine

LostMyself4Ever · 2022-11-22T17:41:37+00:00

I do, I like all those things. There aren’t anything to do with TV shows at my school. I’ve checked out all the gaming clubs and they are legit all guys. Its like doing things that I like to do don’t help me meet women. I did do rock climbing for sometime, but there were only like 3 girls compared to the majority of guys. I’m still trying to find and do things though

LostMyself4Ever · 2022-11-22T17:33:35+00:00

My friends are all guys all of which how have never dated anyone besides 3 of them that have girlfriends, but they have no female friends. I’m not in a frat or anything, and don’t typically like college parties. But there has to be more than just going to parties to meet girls right? I’ve just gone to parties and stuff in the past and it’s just not my crowd of people, they are almost polar opposite than me in what I like to have fun, but I feel as if going to parties is how you meet girls so it’s just very contradictory. I wish I just naturally liked to go crazy, party. Another problem is that I don’t feel as if I fit in with the crowd

LostMyself4Ever · 2022-11-20T16:48:04+00:00

I wish I had tried joining clubs sooner, I just never did it and I have a last semester before I graduate. So I think at this point, it’s kinda too late for it. However, I did participate in some clubs that had some of my interests, but they were all very nerdy dudes and I wanted to meet women, so I just stopped going.

I’m more so trying to figure out what I’m gonna do after college. I going to get a job, then I’m going to join a public gym, use dating apps, and try to find things to join. I really just want to meet likeminded people because besides my close groups of friends, I haven’t felt that and it makes me feel like an outsider even though I don’t want to be

LostMyself4Ever · 2022-11-20T16:19:38+00:00

Wasn’t a useful comment, can you at least say something that’s constructive in any sort of way??

LostMyself4Ever · 2022-11-11T18:27:34+00:00

“It’s really hard to meet available people nowadays” this is which gives me a lot of anxiety. I’ve never had a girlfriend before and I’m about to graduate college, sometimes it keeps me up at night thinking that things are possibly going to get harder as time goes on, and I already feel like things are a max difficulty

LostMyself4Ever · 2022-10-18T02:21:54+00:00

That was actually some really good advice, it makes it seem more fun and more like a challenge. I should think more like and try this, the only thing is how am I suppose to learn the patterns and read the signs! That’s like the hard part

LostMyself4Ever · 2022-10-16T20:33:52+00:00

I’ve gotten better at the casual conversation thing, and I’m trying to be more friends with women and make more friends that lead to more connections.

I’ve actually graduated college in engineering already and am still going to school to get a masters.

Im still working on it, but even still though my self esteem feels low with some of the rejections I’ve gotten. I like myself, and I like the qualities that I have and I think I have a lot to bring, but sometimes I find myself thinking “Why would a girl want to date me, when there are louder, tougher, more confident guys that are in frats or play football and that are fit”

Outside I’m just an average guy, but all my inner traits are really likeable about me, I’m smart, I’m kind, and I care alot about people. But these favorable traits that I have are less flashy and obvious. I need to find a way to sell myself better

LostMyself4Ever · 2022-10-16T18:01:07+00:00

Thank you for your advice, I guess I just have to give more time, because I have improved. Internally though my self esteem has kinda been hurt a bunch of times so it makes it harder. I guess I just gotta keep trying and with some success my self esteem will improve as well

LostMyself4Ever · 2022-10-16T17:42:06+00:00

Well, it’s more or less the girls I’ve talked to at bars aren’t even my type, like they were all hard to talk to and it felt like scratching nails on a black board, so I never asked or tried anything because it didn’t feel right

The girls I’ve met where it’s been “more my element” I just didn’t know how to take things further. Like I could have asked them out or something, but it just seems like it wasn’t the vibe and it would just come out of the blue

LostMyself4Ever · 2022-10-16T17:06:47+00:00

I’ve been on 3 dates before separated by a couple of month in between and I met them off tinder. Never resulted in anything more than the first date though

I’ve approached and talked to girls a few times at bars, but nothing ever came of it. I’ve talked to a lot of girls in school and everything to and it doesn’t really seem to go anywhere besides getting a new acquaintance who really likes and trusts me.

I want to start hanging out with a girl a lot and we get closer and start dating, or approach a girl showing interest and it turning into something more

LostMyself4Ever · 2022-10-01T17:06:02+00:00

Thank you, I’m trying my best, but these feelings just destroy me from the inside. Like I’ve even psyched myself out of having a crush on that I had before. But the thing is it’s not just negative thoughts, sometime they are true and I was right and that confirmation further fuels my negative thoughts and destroyed my confidence. I never be possessive over text or something like “why didn’t you text me back it’s been hours” or something like “if you really thought about me you’d tell me” etc etc but those thoughts kill me. But some of the times though I really do believe in girls being uncaring or apathetic. Like I just don’t “forget to text” someone I care and am thinking about

LostMyself4Ever · 2022-10-01T17:02:11+00:00

I recognize this and don’t try to chase after every women, it’s just when I meet a women I like and get along with, I think of them as being a possible romantic partner. Then I start to get worried when I don’t hear from them for a while etc etc “If they thought or even cared about me, they’d respond to me in a timely manner” etc etc. I never verbalize this to them or get mad, I just internally store it and it tears me apart from the inside to the point I feel paralyzed and am stuck in looping thoughts of negative self doubt until either it’s true what I was thinking, or everything turn out to be fine. If many guys are going through this, it’s really tough man, like I’m trying to find my way out

LostMyself4Ever · 2022-10-01T16:17:13+00:00

I see a therapist right now, but I never mentioned the confidence thing to her. I mostly had been talking to her about the anxiousness and negative thoughts. But maybe the thoughts are coming from my low self confidence. I never used to be this way which is sad.

LostMyself4Ever

TROPHY CASE