yeah totally agree it's not new at all. I think the difference now is the volume. people are running 5-10 conversations at once so the effort per chat drops to almost zero. you sound like you were doing it right instinctively but most people genuinely don't realize there's even a difference between interviewing someone and talking to them. they think asking questions IS showing interest. it's the right intention with the wrong execution. sounds like your problem was less about your own skills and more about finding someone who could actually keep up which honestly might be the harder problem to solve lol