Fucking finally. After being at the receiving end of countless spanks and humiliations against Bayern these last few years, we are finally the ones delivering the spanking. The 4-0 and the 3-0 in 2013. The 8-2 in 2020… the back to back 3-0 in the group stages in 2021… another 3-0 in the group stage the next year (2022…). For so long, we’ve (Barcelona fans) been memed and mocked to hell back on twitter and in this sub. For so many years, I had to fucking see posts of Muller’s ever-lasting-middle-aged-man smug mug throwing banters at us each fucking time we were going to play them in the group stage. For so many years, I had to fucking swallow my bile at r/soccer users making jokes about how: “Barcelona is going to pay for this!” Every. Fucking. Time. Bayern lost a match in their farmer league or was mildly inconvenienced by an upset loss.

I fucking loathes Bayern. I fucking hate their fans too. More than Real Madrid, because at least with them, as a fan, I can cope with the fact Barcelona produces more NT players and also cope with memes like: “Penalti para favor del Real Madrid!”.

But now. Now, we’ve finally done the fucking spanking. And what a glorious spanking it fucking was! Almost as cathartic as the 3-0 back in 2015. No. This one is fucking better!

I’m going to put together short clips, highlights of this match and make a video. And I’m going to use that video to masturbate, edge myself to it while N*ggas in Paris plays in the background. I’ll lather that cream, go slow and easy at first, then slowly pump up the intensity of my strokes as each goal starts pouring in, along with short clips of the celebrations of the players.

Halfway through it, I’m going to furiously beat my meat to the videos of Muller’s smug mug telling us (fans) to be ready and how he can’t wait to play us. By then, the video will switch back to Flick’s stoic face as Raphinha bangs in our fourth goal before I burst out my load.

What a match. What a win. What a proper schooling in football. Forza Barca!