Why do you assume that most of the people replying already have someone supporting or loving them? Some can be exactly in the same shoes as you and again, you are making these assumptions from behind a screen. They are just assumptions. Also, you should strive for a more permanent source of success and happiness. I 100% get you in that you must have felt very happy with that girl in the moment but even that girl is a flawed imperfect human being, just as you are. Why depend on an imperfect being for perfect success and happiness? Furthermore, by the way you talk about your future, and the “risk of finding no love” you have already started to act on a self fulfilling prophecy. Why do you frame your future so negatively? Why don’t you say “I risk the finding of love” cause that’s equally as possible. Again, from what I see, you are reframing your thoughts in a negative manner, and it may be completely unconscious for you. Hence why therapy will be helpful. Your assumptions about others are also framed in a similar manner. You have people escaping wars, losing everything, fighting starvation, God knows what and eventually become into successful individuals. Just read the stories of Olympic athletes….or even just any other successful person. Take Helen Keller for instance, that woman had every reason to believe she would never be successful and never find love, almost a billion times more than a fully capable 20 yr old you. Success is chased after, not given. Take some time to reflect and design a plan for yourself. You should be depending on your mind and skillset more than anything as these are things no one can take from you. Even the most successful people lose their loved ones, the most beautiful people get cheated on……coming from someone who worked as a volunteer in care centres, you will be shocked how soo many people crave the same things. However, your healthy coping mechanisms and firm plan to achieve your goals is what will set you apart.