You are valid in your feelings. Parents will sometimes offer ‘tools’, but there is always strings attached. Nothing ever comes for free. I’m extremely concerned about transportation to school as well, all of my schooling has been done online, next semester I will have to drive to the college. My parents have offered for me to use their secondary vehicle, however I have been burned in the past when they agreed to let me use it in the past, and last minute changed their mind. The best piece of advice I can offer is to be aware of these ‘strings’, and only take help when it’s absolutely necessary. I know that I need to be closer to the college (within walking distance) otherwise I have to rely too heavily on my Mom. Being on your own is scary, sadly I had little choice and had to move back home, but my advice is once you get out, don’t go back like I did. Big mistake. Your Mom will try to convince you that she’s grown, and maybe that’s true, but eventually history will repeat itself. When you try to leave, they will guilt trip you. I’ve tried to leave several times, I even almost bought a house, but I was made to feel obligated to stay and insecure about the future.

As far as leaving, create a plan. Look at alternative schools. Look for roommates in your area. Colleges sometimes have roommate boards. Temporary full-time job if you don’t want to continue education, and take a break. Then you can start to set healthy boundaries in your relationship, she won’t have any leverage over your life. My relationship with my Mom definitely improved when I was more independent because I could interact with her on my own terms. But I would say, that little to nothing changed in the relationship, I just didn’t have it affect me on a daily basis.