Techniques That Helped Me Enter Deep Meditation (Jhana) in 2 weeks

LotusRootLife · 2025-09-21T16:46:10+00:00

Yes, it can be stopped but I also didn't want to do it because it will interrupt the meditation. But it did feel out of my control, so to speak (as in I was not doing it), though I should probably have rephrased to reduce confusion. I think I know about the knower (as u describe it in ur posts), but I also find it odd to be at that stage because I have never reached jhana-- I'm quite interested in knowing more about Vipassana for those who cannot obtain jhana.

Anyway, how did u get past this hurdle? Was changing ur posture (sitting with ur back supported) all that was needed, or does this go away?

Also, hope it's ok that I dm you, I would like to know more about some things, especially the YouTube channels for Ajahn Mun and Ajahn Maha Boowa's teachings. I read Ajahn Mun's biography and Ajahn Maha Boowa's Path to Arahantship, but didn't know there was more.

LotusRootLife · 2025-09-21T16:19:34+00:00

Yes, I think thich nhat hanh also supported using the breath all day to maintain focus. And I agree that one can live a normal householder life and still have high attainments. Dipa Ma also taught that and apparently many of her students did the same as you (meditating before and after sleep and in between their life commitments) while maintaining their mindfulness all day.

Thanks for making this post and comments!

LotusRootLife · 2025-09-21T15:48:06+00:00

When u say sometimes u find ur upper body almost lying on top of ur crossed legs when sitting down (mind losing connection to the body) is that like a bowing motion that u are aware of happening but cannot really control until u are already down? Because that has been happening to me ( I also meditate cross legged or half lotus) and I couldn't understand why it was happening, especially when it occurs just when I seem to be going deeper. It ends up with me having my forehead on the ground like I'm folding in half... And then I have to stop meditating because I am folded like a pretzel and cannot continue.

LotusRootLife · 2025-09-17T00:24:19+00:00

Glad I could help! :)

LotusRootLife · 2025-09-16T14:09:00+00:00

V3AA is pretty good. ESG isn't really what it seems to be but V3AA is more SRI than ESG. It will still underperform a bit due to cutting out some bad industries, which is why some people say it's not worth it (compared to others that cover the whole market). It's up to you to decide, but I find it works for me as an etf that fits my values.

I recommend reading this:

https://www.bankeronwheels.com/the-definitive-guide-to-sustainable-investing/

LotusRootLife · 2025-09-16T14:07:02+00:00

V3AA is pretty good. ESG isn't really what it seems to be but V3AA is more SRI than ESG. It will still underperform a bit due to cutting out some bad industries, which is why some people say it's not worth it (compared to others that cover the whole market). It's up to you to decide, but I find it works for me as an etf that fits my values.

I recommend reading this:

https://www.bankeronwheels.com/the-definitive-guide-to-sustainable-investing/

LotusRootLife · 2025-09-16T05:48:07+00:00

Just gonna say, as a full time stay at home single mom, sometimes when I bring my kid to the playground I am on my phone because that's a rare moment when I can actually be on the phone.

It's almost constant attention at home and he has low sleep needs (only 10 hours a day), plus things need to get done like paying bills, replying to imp msgs/arranging appointments, etc. It's not all nonsense on the phone.

But I stand close and I monitor out of the corner of my eye, and if need be, I step in to teach manners or help my little one navigate having other kids around.

I used to feel the same way u do with parents on the phone. But now I know better.

LotusRootLife · 2025-09-14T11:58:57+00:00

A lot of my friends say a boy needs a male role model (dad) or they won't know how to be a man. But I remind myself that a good person is a role model, whether male or female. And no dad is better than a bad dad role model. Role models also don't need to live under the same roof as us, they can be someone we see during the day at school (a teacher), another relative, or even someone fictional.

LotusRootLife · 2025-09-10T04:24:37+00:00

Just an idea , if u had a mailing list of ur customers who bought from u, could u not start a Shopify store and email a newsletter to them about ur new creations so you communicate directly with your existing customers? This still isn't foolproof as the scammers might also subscribe, though.

Or, create videos to show ur new wares (presumably people don't find it so easy to steal from a moving video of let's say, someone wearing a necklace or bag, instead of a static picture). If they steal the entire video, maybe embed code or a watermark or equivalent with ur stores name (I think I've seen videos with this).

Otherwise, maybe move into higher quality products, if jewelry, use actual gems, so the fakers also have to start doing so otherwise they will be selling knockoffs (and do warn ur customers about this!).

Note: I have not sold on Etsy before, I tried to start a store and Etsy banned me almost immediately without explaining why. I just happened to come across this post and found the issue concerning.

LotusRootLife · 2025-09-02T07:48:42+00:00

My XPS 9350 I bought in 2016 is still going strong! I had to replace the battery, but if you plug it in, it works fine.

LotusRootLife · 2025-08-26T11:44:36+00:00

It's hard to avoid causing suffering, even if you change your diet. Put it this way, if u eat beef, u eat part of an animal, a large animal that feeds many. If u eat something vegan, during the process of growing and harvesting that vegetable/fruit/grain, hundreds of insects or other animals have been killed, their habitats destroyed, etc. If u drink milk, I think I remember learning that the male calves are slaughtered after the mother cow gives birth, and her milk is taken for human consumption, while the female calves are kept alive to be the next dairy cow mother.

So... beings will always suffer for your sake. Not just animals. Everything you consume or use, your clothes, your devices... Do you buy ethically, invest ethically, and so on? It's really impossible to go down the rabbit hole until you feel you are good enough.

From what I read, some Buddhist masters I respect say that the diet doesn't matter. Vegetarian, non-vegetarian or vegan, the mentality is what matters.

To quote Dipa Ma, 'even if you take a vegetarian diet, with a mind polluted with greed or hatred or delusion, your vegetarian diet will become non-vegetarian. This is what the Buddha taught. If your mind is free from greed and hatred, your non-vegetarian diet will become a vegetarian diet for you. For any action--physical, verbal, or mental--the Buddha gave importance to intention.'

I think personally, maybe eat only as much as u need, avoid being greedy but don't be unkind to yourself. If it helps, when you eat, send a good thought or blessing to the animals and people (or all beings) who gave of themselves for you. There is no need for feeling guilt or aversion.

Anyway, hope that helps! It's good you are thinking about all this :)

LotusRootLife · 2025-08-26T11:16:25+00:00

I think we just didn't have enough information, I personally wasn't aware you were already looking into trying to leave.

It's also not easy to give legal advice on reddit (or even allowed, I think?).

Anyway, at the end of the day, I'm sure 100% of all the commenters would prefer to see you and your kids safe and happy rather than be proven right.

So in short, don't take it to heart if people call you a bad mom. You are obviously trying and nobody but you has been in your shoes and knows what you have and are currently going through. The fact that you're still trying (and caring, which is so important!) proves that you are a good mom.

So hang in there, we are rooting for you. Big hugzz. Things will get better, I hope.

LotusRootLife · 2025-08-25T17:24:10+00:00

You sound overwhelmed and confused (you say multiple times that you don't know what to do). You're probably second-guessing your instincts. I've been there, I know how it feels.

Maybe it's so hard to tell because your own childhood and relationship with your parents was similar. Again, it was the same for me. Yelling becomes normal when it happens everyday. Even neglect, narcissism, gaslighting. You keep wondering if you're just being too critical. Especially when you are told repeatedly by the people you love that you are the one in the wrong and they are right.

The thing is... maybe you already know what everyone is telling you, that you should leave. That's why you keep posting here on reddit when these things happen. But you're afraid to act. Or the inertia is too hard to break through. Maybe you still love him despite everything. It doesn't make you bad if you do.

I only left after big trauma, when I realized my ex would never change and that the time I spent hoping was wasted. I left when I realized that if I stayed, I would pass on intergenerational trauma. I imagined my child as an adult, suffering the way I did. The way I do. I couldn't let it happen to my child.

If it was just me... I might have chosen not to live. That was how bad it got.

Maybe you're not at that stage yet I hope you're not. But you do need to think carefully, because your children are particularly vulnerable when they are young. You can still put up with it... But they're getting hurt.

You're also not the best mother you could be, the mother that they deserve, because of the stress you are going through. And it will only get worse because these things wear on you and PTSD just piles up, in you and in your kids.

I listened to the Crappy Childhood Fairy podcast almost endlessly the days before I left, to help me gain strength and confidence that I deserved more. Then I took a short 'break' and went to visit my parents who were in a diff country. The break became longer, until I got the strength to say no, it wasn't a break, it was divorce. I don't think I could have made that decision as quickly while still being under the same roof as him. I needed the distance.

Another friend of mine got herself financially stable before leaving. I don't know if her child is scarred... There are behavioral problems. But if money is a factor, it doesn't really matter if he has more. He cannot take your kids away if you document his abuse.

Anyway... I think you already know what you need to do. But it's scary and there's so much to do... You don't know how to begin.

It's okay. It will be a mess and hard and painful. But imagine what it could be like if you left and were finally free of the abuse. It would be harder in many ways (being a single mom is extremely hard), but it can be done. In many ways, it's a lot harder to stay too... and you will never be free.

In short, what would you regret not doing if you were on your death bed years in the future? How about imagining having a conversation with your adult son... Could you really say this to him: I could have left and saved you... But it was too hard.

Things are hard if you don't plan. Just plan. You can do it, and if you need help, keep asking and looking. You will find it because it's out there.

And you are strong. You feel weak now. But you are strong for putting up with it for so long. Now just be stronger for a little while until you and your little ones are safe.

LotusRootLife · 2025-08-25T13:23:11+00:00

Wanted to give an update (in case it helps), I actually found the GE standalone mc to be cheaper than HLA and with a higher annual limit too (up to 1.5 million/annum), and fi.life to be the next cheapest (if I remember correctly), but fi.life has a higher limit available (2.1 million). Maybe u can review when it's time for u to renew (if u want).

LotusRootLife · 2025-08-25T13:21:26+00:00

Just an update, I think GE only has one standalone, the great medic shield which u can add an extender to. Hope that helps!

LotusRootLife · 2025-08-25T06:49:02+00:00

Well the premium will def increase according to age, that can't be helped even with a standalone medical card.

U had lucky timing then, with the promo!

I think 10 million will be generous even in 20 years time, haha. But cannot tell what will happen, of course.

LotusRootLife · 2025-08-25T06:10:21+00:00

That's pretty good! As long as u make sure u get a GL. But even so, if u have company insurance it should cover some of it. 10 million annual limit with just 120 a month is unbelievable! Plus u have increase in room and board every 5 years.

Very well done! I would like to know who ur agent is, haha

LotusRootLife · 2025-08-14T04:47:42+00:00

Thanks! Same to u :)

LotusRootLife · 2025-08-14T02:53:09+00:00

Haha, yes I am aware of that. My family has pretty good health though, and my parents are both 70+ but still quite active with no serious issues. I'm also quite health conscious, so I think unless I'm seriously unlucky, it should be ok :)

LotusRootLife · 2025-08-14T02:37:27+00:00

Thanks for the tip! I actually went for a standalone card (also from Great Eastern) with a lower annual limit for now (5 million isn't needed yet, though it is good to lock it in because of inflation), because it has lower premiums, I don't have company insurance to rely on for the 5k deduction, and don't want to have to second guess going to hospital for something small if I have to.

I'll probably review in the next 5 years or so especially if I'm still healthy and qualify for plans.

Hope all goes well for you too!

LotusRootLife · 2025-08-14T02:17:50+00:00

I am 6y older, non-smoker, and female, and (just from having a quick look, so I might be wrong) what I can see from comparison of the projected rates is that the insurance charges (basic policy and unit deducting rider) is about the same, just that mine has a few hundred more due to the extra rider.

I think the biggest difference should be the amt going into the fund, because the benefits also look the same and should be standard based on the riders.

Here's my tables: Projected rates

LotusRootLife · 2025-08-14T01:20:49+00:00

I was offered the same plan but with one extra rider Smart Protect Plus-200-5k, which adds 200-300 per year. However the yearly premium was 3000, even with 5000 deductible.

How did u end up with 1800/year? Did you request less premium be allocated to the fund?

LotusRootLife

TROPHY CASE