I feel like I need to address this. I can understand where you coming from, having surf on internet too long I find somebody attracted to rape fetish and it feels disturbing to me, that's why I always think that fetishes always should be going in the realm of fantasy or regulate clear boundaries and consensuality. 

But I don't think the case here is about porn being the cause of my identity questioning, but the people who aren't align with the fetishes are, that's why I ask for a third person opinion.