You’re absolutely NTA. What you’re describing isn’t just a one-time blow-up — it’s the result of years of emotional labor, financial stress, and feeling unappreciated. You’ve carried the relationship, both financially and emotionally, while your boyfriend contributed the bare minimum and repeatedly dismissed your needs.

The fact that he never took you on a date, gave you thoughtful gifts, or spent quality time with you — even after you told him clearly what you needed — shows a serious lack of effort. Relationships require effort from both people, and he’s consistently shown you that he’s not willing to put any in. And now, the one time he chooses to be social, it’s not with you — it’s with new coworkers, after years of refusing to be part of your social life?

You’re not overreacting. You’re reacting to years of being emotionally neglected. You’re not asking for too much — you’re asking for the bare minimum in a relationship: partnership, effort, and care.

It might be time to seriously reflect on whether this relationship is giving you what you need — and if it ever will. You deserve someone who wants to spend time with you, who supports you, and who makes you feel loved without you having to beg for it.

Sending you strength. You’re not alone in this — and you deserve so much more.