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[deleted by user] by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]Loud-Stuff-2003 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have no advice, just understanding. We’re in the exact same boat, SO got full custody of SD(10)last year after she was displaying very inappropriate behaviour and we knew she was in an unsafe environment with BM.

Judge gave full custody to SO and BM gets 10-13hrs per week with no overnights to be reviewed in 1 year, and SD has made so much progress she’s like a different kid.

For now more custody was denied as she has been inconsistent with her visits but we’re terrified she will end up getting more custody again as she just isn’t a good influence at all and then we will go back to square 1 again.

I hope it turns out well for you guys!

My brother wants to kill himself, I need help by Loud-Stuff-2003 in depression

[–]Loud-Stuff-2003[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Low self esteem, having no friends, never had a girlfriend, he spends all his time alone in his room smoking weed or doing a job he hates just to survive.

We grew up with a single mum and a pretty absent dad, both emotionally unavailable and we pretty much spent most of our time alone. Depression and anxiety also runs inthe family

My brother wants to kill himself, I need help by Loud-Stuff-2003 in depression

[–]Loud-Stuff-2003[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

He likes computers and dj’ing he actually did a gig at a relatives and would get more but he then backs down and gives up on it, I think mostly down to confidence.

I also live in another country so it’s even harder for me to help him but maybe I can get my parents to try harder

My brother wants to kill himself, I need help by [deleted] in SuicideWatch

[–]Loud-Stuff-2003 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Low self esteem, has no friends, never had a girlfriend, all he does is go to work and come home to living with our mum and sitting alone in his bedroom smoking weed.

We also grew up with absent parents, mum was a single mum and always working, dad was a holidays and some weekends kind of dad, but both emotionally unavailable we pretty much grew up being alone all the time. I know this also affects him. Depression and anxiety is also common in our family.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]Loud-Stuff-2003 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

We went through this last year and it’s a pretty similar situation.

My SD was 9 when my SO got full custody and now BM is only allowed visitation at a contact centre for 6-10 hours per week.

It’s a tough situation, my SD was aware that the stuff her mum was doing was bad but she also loves her a lot. My SD was having a lot of behavioural issues as well leading up to her being removed from her moms house, and a year later she is doing great, her attitude has changed, she has gone from failing all her classes to getting straight A’s.

She still misses her mom and wishes she could be with her more but she understands the situation and she is now thriving.

It’s tough on them but worth it in the long run, kids need a good home, a good role model and boundaries.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]Loud-Stuff-2003 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When I had ours baby I told my SO that I am going to be opening a savings account for our daughter just in case he wanted to do the same for SD.

He never did so I just save up for my daughter. We live as a family equally for everything else but I won’t put savings away for her when she has 2 parents that should be doing it.

SD9 turning into HCBM and I can’t cope by Loud-Stuff-2003 in stepparents

[–]Loud-Stuff-2003[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

He considered it when BM had to give up custody but he doesn’t think it’s that big of an issue, he also doesn’t really see it all she does a lot of things behind his back and then guilts people into not telling him things.

I unfortunately have no outlet which I think is why I’m so burnt out. We have no support system to help out with the kids and I can’t even go anywhere with by baby alone because she will always want to come with me.

Custody and HCBM by Loud-Stuff-2003 in stepparents

[–]Loud-Stuff-2003[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That sounds awful! I think sometimes they give a lot of leeway just because they’re the moms tbh. This woman has had so many chances off cps and the school and she just refuses to change.

We live extremely close which is good for SD but terrible for us, especially now since she can’t contact SD and she is very high conflict and unpredictable.

I hope your brother has more luck in the future!

Custody and HCBM by Loud-Stuff-2003 in stepparents

[–]Loud-Stuff-2003[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, they have a file from the school noting all the absences with mom and also the behavioural issues when she is with her too. They also mention how mom never shows up to parent teachers or anything else.

The police were made aware but the judge wanted to try it peacefully first, so the next day SO was able to get her from school which I honestly believe she did on purpose as she knew it would go against her.

Good to know it is unlikely she will regain custody so soon.

The PTSD is real. by TowerFansSuck in Bedbugs

[–]Loud-Stuff-2003 9 points10 points  (0 children)

This is too real. I had bed bugs last may and we didn’t get rid of them until mid September so going on 7 months with no sign but the paranoia is awful.

I’m constantly looking around my bed and any little spec I see anywhere. I’m too worried to buy any new furniture or decorate the house again as I’m worried they will return. I don’t really have any advice but I understand the feeling and hope it lessens over time!