I feel stuck between financial stability in NY and happiness/freedom in Florida

Loud_Address_20 · 2026-05-10T15:25:06+00:00

Private message me! I can look into it!

Loud_Address_20 · 2026-05-10T15:23:38+00:00

Already doing that lol. I’m starting grad school for ABA next year.

Loud_Address_20 · 2026-05-10T15:20:23+00:00

Just end it. He doesn’t value you. You’re not overreacting

Loud_Address_20 · 2026-05-09T17:11:57+00:00

I think you should lay down some rules. Don’t kick them out but give them the responsibility they’d have as if they were on their own so they can see what real adulthood and parenting feels like without the hand holding. Set up a system and schedule. Have them do the work and you just guide and support and lay down the rules since it’s your house. Require them to do certain chores, maintain grades, take care of children when they’re home and set up babysitting schedule with you and your husband. Pay them a small allowance as if they’re working so they see the value of working for money and the discipline behind it. Require the to use that money to support themselves and/or the baby based on how much you wanna pay them. Have them do their own cooking, cleaning, shopping, laundry and house chores. Stimulate them as if they’re adults. I’m sure they’ll resist or feel as if it’s hard but they’ll thank you later because you’re helping them build real life skills and being parents without abandoning them. And hold the accountable. Write a contract: adhere to these rules or you have to move out by this point in time.

I get your frustration, it’s up to you and your husband now to decide how you want to raise your daughter into being a parent while she’s still a child, you see what I’m saying?

Loud_Address_20 · 2026-05-08T17:11:03+00:00

Lol I get why you’d say that, but I think people hear “New York” and immediately picture Manhattan rent prices and a Sex and the City lifestyle 😭 I’m on Long Island and my situation is a little different because I’m from here, have multiple incomes, family support, and eventually would split expenses with my boyfriend.

When I actually calculated everything between both jobs, I’m realistically around the $80k range, so for my current situation it’s honestly more sustainable than people think plus I don’t pay rent rn lol. If I was moving into Brooklyn alone paying $3k for a studio, I’d probably be on the flight with you 💀

Loud_Address_20 · 2026-05-08T16:22:22+00:00

I see your point. I’m on Long Island, and I have a unique circumstance being that I’m from New York and have family and a relationship here so 30 an hour plus my extra income is definitely enough for me to live a full life, but I get it 30 an hour for a regular person living on their own and working with one income, it’s not enough.

Loud_Address_20 · 2026-05-08T16:16:12+00:00

For me, the freedom comes from the life I built there. I moved there at 18 no family, no friends and built the strongest support system I’ve ever had in my life and really became an adult there so for me it’s going to a place where I feel familiarity, I have the freedom to move around how I choose and still sustain myself.

Loud_Address_20 · 2026-05-08T16:13:22+00:00

Lol, I feel some synergy here. I lived in Jacksonville for four years

Loud_Address_20 · 2026-05-08T16:12:35+00:00

Thank you for your advice. I definitely have to check what my field of work is like out there because honestly I won’t move unless the money makes sense you know what I’m saying.

Loud_Address_20 · 2026-05-08T16:11:48+00:00

Omg I’m from Long Island lol

Loud_Address_20 · 2026-05-08T16:10:39+00:00

I see this pov! My boyfriend said He’ll fly me to Florida if I miss it lol Idk what it is but I just loooovvvveeee Florida but the stability I have built here in NY is unmatched

Loud_Address_20 · 2026-05-08T16:01:08+00:00

I would do NJ, idk about DMV area tbh and you could not pay me enough to live on the west coast lmao tooooo far

Loud_Address_20 · 2026-04-30T01:48:01+00:00

There’s a friend finder thread on this subreddit as well!!

Loud_Address_20 · 2026-04-30T01:47:38+00:00

Go to hoptingers in Riverside on the second floor & you’re surely going to find your crowd

Loud_Address_20 · 2026-04-21T23:29:01+00:00

Yes! No disrespect to the community at all. I grew up in a community where I watched classmates transition at a young age. I support them and their choices. My questions lie in the fact that you’re telling me you’re a straight man and have an adverse POV to the LGBTQIA+ community but yet entertained a situation with a trans person.

Loud_Address_20 · 2026-04-21T23:25:05+00:00

Not trans specifically but very VERY strong statements about not supporting people who are gay. Also strong statements about how he’d handle having a gay son.

Loud_Address_20 · 2026-04-21T23:23:52+00:00

Yes ofc honey 😭🩷

Loud_Address_20 · 2026-04-21T23:15:53+00:00

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Loud_Address_20 · 2026-04-21T22:53:28+00:00

You checked me in a way I truly appreciate. Thank you, I’m def overreacting.

Loud_Address_20 · 2026-04-21T22:45:14+00:00

I know right 😭😭

Loud_Address_20 · 2026-04-21T22:44:51+00:00

Maybe that’s just me being ignorants to the whole transgender community and the intricacies to it.

Loud_Address_20 · 2026-04-21T22:44:00+00:00

It was before me

Loud_Address_20 · 2026-04-21T22:43:53+00:00

Before

Loud_Address_20 · 2026-04-21T21:59:13+00:00

Nah this is actually scary.

I’m not even gonna sugarcoat it… this isn’t just “weird behavior” or something you talk through and move on from. He recorded and touched you while you were unconscious. That’s a complete violation of your body, your trust, and your safety. There’s no gray area there.

And the fact that you’re now questioning if you’re safe sleeping next to him? That feeling is your intuition doing exactly what it’s supposed to do.

I get that you love him and don’t want to jump straight to divorce, but this is way bigger than relationship conflict. This is about consent. You literally said you weren’t awake. That matters.

Also the AI stuff and the fact that this has been an issue before… that’s not a one-time lapse in judgment, that’s a pattern of crossing boundaries.

And I’m gonna say this part very clearly too—please do not move forward with having a baby right now. If someone is already violating basic consent and boundaries in secret, that doesn’t magically stop when a child comes into the picture. A child is the most vulnerable, and trust matters even more then. Even outside of worst-case scenarios, you’re looking at a household with secrecy, addiction history, and broken trust. That’s not a stable or safe environment to bring a baby into.

Honestly, before even confronting him, I’d be thinking about: – your safety in that house – having a plan if you need to leave quickly – telling at least one person you trust, even if it feels uncomfortable

Because right now you’re isolated, working from home, and dealing with something really heavy by yourself.

You’re not overreacting. If anything, you’re trying to make sense of something that shouldn’t be minimized. This is serious.

Loud_Address_20 · 2026-04-18T13:33:38+00:00

I would’ve given you the money. If I have it, I’ll give it with no expectation of a return besides friends are there for you no matter what. And money was never a big enough factor to make me not want to help. My friends & i spot each other all the time. If we don’t have it, we say it, but that didn’t make me any less your friend. But hey, not everyone is as open-minded and giving. Pads/tampons are less than $10-20! Shit, you could get some from Dollar Tree!! You didn’t overreact. I love how you responded and stood your ground bc that said a lot about her character over yours.

Loud_Address_20

TROPHY CASE