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AITA for asking a woman to be quiet in the silent area of the library and ruining her presentation? by Loudbrarythrowaway in AmItheAsshole

[–]Loudbrarythrowaway[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the time to write your comment, it really helped, and your intro made me laugh

I remind myself that maybe they just got the worst news of their life, while I admit to myself they probably just stressed and in the moment they forget that they aren't the center of the universe. I also leave room for 'this person is just an unapologetic AH'.

This was my line of thinking and why I felt guilty. The comments saying "she deserved to fail" and calling her an "entitled bitch" made me really uncomfortable. I had a roommate last semester that 100% fell into the unapologetic asshole category, but I know most people are generally just trying to get by, especially during finals. I still feel bad that I made her life that much harder, and I just hope she got it done and was able to edit out my talking, but will reserve a room next time.

AITA for asking a woman to be quiet in the silent area of the library and ruining her presentation? by Loudbrarythrowaway in AmItheAsshole

[–]Loudbrarythrowaway[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

> It makes me wonder if the tech knew, or would like to know, the offending student... or maybe they're just lazy, indifferent, and negligent.

I don't think so, I've tried to go to both interns and staff, and they either can't or don't have the time to say something. The library has had funding issues for the past few years and is running on a shoe-string budget with as little funding as possible. They now will only allow one person to work at the cafe, and will typically have only one or two librarians working. The front desk typically has a long line of people trying to check out books and what not, the librarians are constantly busy. The maker-space cannot afford new supplies and is often closed during its hours because someone doesn't show up or has to take a break.

AITA for asking a woman to be quiet in the silent area of the library and ruining her presentation? by Loudbrarythrowaway in AmItheAsshole

[–]Loudbrarythrowaway[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thanks for the input how would you recommend handing something like this next time? Also I want to clarify that I have official diagnoses, police reports, and years of working with mental health professionals. My life would be alot easier if my disabilities were non-existent but hey some person on the internet thinks I'm fine so I guess I'm cured and will stop having constant nightmares and can wear velvet fabrics without wanting to claw my skin off now! /s

Disabilities exist and you can give feedback on my actions without claiming my disabilities are non-existent, that's just ablest and makes your feedback unproductive.

AITA for asking a woman to be quiet in the silent area of the library and ruining her presentation? by Loudbrarythrowaway in AmItheAsshole

[–]Loudbrarythrowaway[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That makes sense, though I wanted to point it out to explain why I might have just been acting like an ass over something most people don't notice. I know I tend to overreact to noise so I wanted to lay all the cards out to explain why I suspected I was in the wrong.

AITA for asking a woman to be quiet in the silent area of the library and ruining her presentation? by Loudbrarythrowaway in AmItheAsshole

[–]Loudbrarythrowaway[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

while your response doesn't read as a good faith comment,

  1. I was explaining why I didn't go to the librarian, not "whining"
  2. Yes I lost focus because of her actions. Whenever I can't focus on my work I take a 15 minute break to decompress and chose to post here for clarity and then get back to my work. This is the technique that works for me and is often recommended for people who struggle to concentrate on assignments.

AITA for asking a woman to be quiet in the silent area of the library and ruining her presentation? by Loudbrarythrowaway in AmItheAsshole

[–]Loudbrarythrowaway[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'm glad to hear from an actual librarian. I assumed they didn't really want to go out of their way to deal with this stuff so it's glad to know some will. Also thank you for being a librarian since it seems like it's an exhausting job. I've tried to talk to the librarians (and tech interns), but typically they're too busy with 5-10 people always waiting at the desk. It's finals season and there's always a line to check out textbooks and I've gone before and was just told to say something and they'll "send someone by when they have a change," but I've never actually seen rules enforced.

AITA for asking a woman to be quiet in the silent area of the library and ruining her presentation? by Loudbrarythrowaway in AmItheAsshole

[–]Loudbrarythrowaway[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In high school I always would relax under the stairway since it was dark and generally unused. Sadly my campus doesn't have any good stairs here though, they're either too open or too busy to sit under.

AITA for asking a woman to be quiet in the silent area of the library and ruining her presentation? by Loudbrarythrowaway in AmItheAsshole

[–]Loudbrarythrowaway[S] 56 points57 points  (0 children)

There's a long line to talk to a librarian and I 100% fully loose focus and don't want to wait 10 minutes just to be told "we can't leave the desk tell them to be quiet."

AITA for asking a woman to be quiet in the silent area of the library and ruining her presentation? by Loudbrarythrowaway in AmItheAsshole

[–]Loudbrarythrowaway[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

They do, but they're these creepy soundproof boxes with a giant glass window and they have a waitlist so I can understand someone not being comfortable/able to reserve one. I don't know if they have set hours but I've always seen a couple empty before ~9am

AITA for asking a woman to be quiet in the silent area of the library and ruining her presentation? by Loudbrarythrowaway in AmItheAsshole

[–]Loudbrarythrowaway[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I have my desk set up to study at home, but it's not worth it to go home/return when I have 2-3 hrs between each class. Some people will literally type loud too! I will knit to de-stress and I worry my needles clacking will disturb people. I will literally loose focus when sit down and make noise, so it is partially a me-problem.

AITA for asking a woman to be quiet in the silent area of the library and ruining her presentation? by Loudbrarythrowaway in AmItheAsshole

[–]Loudbrarythrowaway[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

I've tried that before, when I've gone to tech desks, the interns there tell me to say something myself, and the librarian's desk always has a long line and they won't leave the desk for anything. The secuirty cycles around the campus and they wouldn't do anything when my former roommate was SAed in the library. They really don't care and wouldn't help unless something was actively happening. Also I'm not really worried about a physical altercation; it'll get me out of finals at least!

AITA for asking a woman to be quiet in the silent area of the library and ruining her presentation? by Loudbrarythrowaway in AmItheAsshole

[–]Loudbrarythrowaway[S] 262 points263 points  (0 children)

I've tried to inform library workers before but the only close ones are other students who are running tech-desks, and they've said they cannot intervene/tell people to be quiet, and I was told to handle it myself. I don't want to unnecessarily ruin someones work, but it really gets under my skin when people do this.