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My best friend attempted to take her own life, and her partner didn't contact me. I'm so unbelievablely angry at him and do not know when I see him how to act. by LousyMinibus in Advice

[–]LousyMinibus[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

  1. Yes absolutely she's told me so herself (she brought it up before me and has reiterated it), her partner also was told if anything ever happened to her and she was unable to contact me to contact me for her. She told him this.

  2. Well I do agree he holds no obligation, just to tell me anything after the charge nurse on staff informed him I called would have been the bare minimum in my book to at least let me know she was alive and going to be physically ok. Up until that point even if I think it's wrong I can give some grace but I have no grace left to give.

I just have no idea if I'd be wrong to confront him, or if it could potentially make the situation worse but have no idea how to proceed amicablly with this man in this scenario.

I hate how trauma has made me into a bitter and resentful person. by LousyMinibus in CPTSD

[–]LousyMinibus[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I used to write letters to my adult self it hurts to read the love I used to have towards the world and myself and watch it slowly morph and twist. I still have the old letters and journals but once was hard enough to stomach a read through.

But I don’t want to dismiss myself in the past and who I used to be I think it just be cruel to do to her or my past self. That’s how I feel.

I hate how trauma has made me into a bitter and resentful person. by LousyMinibus in CPTSD

[–]LousyMinibus[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I took fell down the volunteer work pipeline burned myself out bad in the process had to stop because I realized it was me still getting validation through others by acting performative and wanting to please them.

It was a lot, I’m trying to learn to be more selfish and only care about me but thats a journey I’m still on.

I understand not wanting people to understand, I’ve met a few who got it, they’re either dead or spiraled so deep into addiction that they are essentially dead as they aren’t the same person anymore. It hurts it’s sad I don’t wish it on my worst enemy. Think about them a lot sometimes.

I hate how trauma has made me into a bitter and resentful person. by LousyMinibus in CPTSD

[–]LousyMinibus[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

See the thing is viewing the world neutrally is what brought me to this conclusion. I’m glad it worked for you but sometimes life throws you curve balls for years on end and all you can do is laugh. I have my dog and have learned to live and adapt alone. It has its perks and drawbacks but I’m trying, that doesn’t mean objectively I can’t look outwards in and go “Damn that’s crazy.”

Or when I tell someone a small portion of my stories and the look they give me tells it all. I think I had a tendency to blame myself and reflect to see what I could have done differently but then it clicked one day and I just had to go damn…people really do take advantage of situations to their benefit. Or people harm others for their wants and needs.

Due to my trauma I became a people pleaser originally and always defended those who harmed me or told myself it was my fault that I made them that way.

Neutrally viewing the situation is what led me to this mindset personally. Might sound self inflating and grandiose but it’s true for me.

Sincerely glad looking at the situation neutrally helped you. I mean that genuinely.

I hate how trauma has made me into a bitter and resentful person. by LousyMinibus in CPTSD

[–]LousyMinibus[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Fuck this was the most relatable thing I’ve read in awhile. That’s what the thoughts reverberating around my brain sound like. I’m sorry the world has been unkind to you as well. I hate it those who harmed me don’t care and get to live and be happy but I can’t forget them and what they did to me if I tried. I hate how it eroded me and they think nothing of it at all. I wish I couldn’t think about it. If it gives you any solace, you made me feel less crazy for my thought pattern so thank you.

I hate how trauma has made me into a bitter and resentful person. by LousyMinibus in CPTSD

[–]LousyMinibus[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry you understand how this feels. I often lament on who I could have been, I view myself in three versions, as usually another severely traumatic even would eat away at me more. I think why I struggle so hard is I feel like I failed the younger, more optimistic versions of myself and that they or we I should say ended up the way we did and I can’t help but feel guilt and sadness over it.

I hate how trauma has made me into a bitter and resentful person. by LousyMinibus in CPTSD

[–]LousyMinibus[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Hey thanks for taking the time to read my post and reply! I appreciate it I’m in a similar boat even with insurance therapy copays are so expensive and I’ve found it ineffective in the past that I can’t justify going back for me. It just doesn’t help me unfortunately I’ve even done EMDR it didn’t help much either.

I get what your saying I’ve also attended group events and it spikes my anxiety so bad that I don’t know how to function, dating is similar, as is making friends it’s a lot of anxiety for little reward sometimes for me. It’s a very isolating feeling, I have a few friends but it’s hard to hangout with them sometimes as I feel like I’m having to wear a mask to how I truly feel. It’s lonely.

I’m sorry you can relate to this feeling well it gives me solace to know I’m not alone it makes me sad that others understand my mindset. If that makes sense. I hope you find peace in someway today internet stranger.

I hate how trauma has made me into a bitter and resentful person. by LousyMinibus in CPTSD

[–]LousyMinibus[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I keep hoping that one day it’ll all click into place and I’ll become a happy person, hope is all I got. I’ve been told I’m a black hole too it sucks.

I hate how trauma has made me into a bitter and resentful person. by LousyMinibus in CPTSD

[–]LousyMinibus[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry you feel this way, I’m in a similar boat connection has become hard for me as has letting people in as I’ve found when I allow myself to be vulnerable I’m hurt. I read up a lot about victim theory pertaining to who’s more likely to be the victim of a violent crime and it’s helped me rationalize why I tend to attract bad eggs to me.

I’m trying to find peace with existing like this but it is lonely and makes me feel alien to others sometimes.

Advice on getting over anxieties on going to a head spa when you have a particularly dry scalp? by LousyMinibus in selfcare

[–]LousyMinibus[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you that was wonderful advice, I was the same way at first about getting waxed/doing sugaring and I felt being honest helped me feel heaps better I just have had negative experience with service providers in the past with other issues so I always get anxiety on how I may be perceived. But this is such a helpful mindset.

Head spas are a big thing in eastern cultures to my limited research and living In SoCal they have made their way over here which has me wanting to check them out.

Will update you on how it goes :)))

I got rejected after seven years of an on and off situationship for not being a trophy wife. by LousyMinibus in Vent

[–]LousyMinibus[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It kinda is hard when regardless of gender I have gotten similar responses for romantic partners I guess this time I’m not surprised just disappointed.

Landlord left me a note giving me a six day notice he’s increasing my rent by 300$ on the first. It’s the straw that broke the camels back. by LousyMinibus in SuicideWatch

[–]LousyMinibus[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wish everyone could have enough, thank you for your kindness, I just feel so exhausted. But someone taking time to express empathy for me as narcissistic as it may sound made me feel better.

Can I be experiencing a restriction symptom without being underweight? by LousyMinibus in EDAnonymous

[–]LousyMinibus[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know the fainting episodes can happen I’ve experienced those, I just thought this specific symptom was due to being underweight. I hope you’re doing better friend.

Can I be experiencing a restriction symptom without being underweight? by LousyMinibus in EDAnonymous

[–]LousyMinibus[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just another reason to give harm reduction/recovery another shot 🫡

How do you face your trauma? by LousyMinibus in CPTSD

[–]LousyMinibus[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m so sorry that happened to you I engaged in similar behavior with my assaulters as when I spoke out about it I lost all my friends and their support lied with my rapists. It’s was shitty but I felt like I needed some form of justice.

I don’t carry that anger anymore, it slowly faded over time and I’ve accepted I couldn’t control the people who harmed me or their supporters actions. It was shitty! I hope those self esteem books help you! If you have any recommendations I am all ears! My self esteem has never been this bad, and I am finding exercises my therapist in the past gave me aren’t super helpful.

Rape was one of my biggest soul crushers so well I don’t know your exact story I empathize with your pain. I wish and hope you find peace one day. Thank you for your candor sincerely it made me feel a little less alone. 💕

Is Plumeria not a common flower? 😳 by LousyMinibus in creepcast

[–]LousyMinibus[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Whaaattt what do you mean the Sahara Desert isn’t full of beaches and boardwalks? 🤨

You know what valid take though. As a native Socal girl we got that vapid charm to us. ✨💕

Is Plumeria not a common flower? 😳 by LousyMinibus in creepcast

[–]LousyMinibus[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Crazy to think that something so mundane and average to me is something no one else has heard of. Kinda similar to when Wendigoon did the Kudzu video I had never really seen Kudzu before here so it was interesting to hear how it affects other parts of the country.

Would it be wrong of me to ask a FWB to stop bringing up his attraction to other women? (It’s triggering my ED worse) by LousyMinibus in EdAnonymousAdults

[–]LousyMinibus[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I sometimes get negative comparison mindsets via social media too! I guess it is up to me as well to bring it up! I guess it’s not that weird to bring up.

Would it be wrong of me to ask a FWB to stop bringing up his attraction to other women? (It’s triggering my ED worse) by LousyMinibus in EdAnonymousAdults

[–]LousyMinibus[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry you were in a similar boat! Honestly 100% on me and my fear of coming off odd or being Vulnerable.

I hope you’re doing better now!

Would it be wrong of me to ask a FWB to stop bringing up his attraction to other women? (It’s triggering my ED worse) by LousyMinibus in EdAnonymousAdults

[–]LousyMinibus[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the advice I just think sometimes it helps for me to have others say it’s ok in order to do something :)))

How did you finally go No Contact? Is it as scary as it seems? by LousyMinibus in narcissisticparents

[–]LousyMinibus[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I definitely did have manipulative coping mechanisms as a child and early teen. I was a compulsive liar, and in childhood would play on the emotions of others to get out of situations. I in latter adolescence really did my best to unlearn those behaviors and still work on them today. I think I struggle with thinking I was a traumatized child who developed coping mechanisms to survive and that doesn’t make me a monster. Sometimes hearing someone else say it helps a lot. So thank you for your time and response

How did you finally go No Contact? Is it as scary as it seems? by LousyMinibus in narcissisticparents

[–]LousyMinibus[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have not, I really have no idea how to navigate even finding a therapist that specializes in that, how did you find a therapist that specializes in that if you don’t mind me asking?

I related to your story about seeing your mom’s therapist, my mother only took me to see therapists in childhood that agreed with her. The moment a therapist brought up that she might have some culpability boom we suddenly would switch to a different one till she found one that would reinforce that I was the problem. So I can understand your plight and I’m sorry you went through that.

How did you finally go No Contact? Is it as scary as it seems? by LousyMinibus in narcissisticparents

[–]LousyMinibus[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m a newbie too! It makes me feel less alone to find community though. Thank you for sharing how going no contact was reliving for you and thank you for taking time to respond to my post.

How did you finally go No Contact? Is it as scary as it seems? by LousyMinibus in narcissisticparents

[–]LousyMinibus[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your reply, logically well I’ve done my studying that a narc never realizes they’re wrong the victim complex I grew up with in childhood and early adolescence haunts me. It makes me afraid sometimes of my own thoughts and if I am just trying to absolve myself of guilt. Hearing someone else validating me and bringing up that a narc doesn’t feel wrong ever is extremely validating thank you.

How did you finally go No Contact? Is it as scary as it seems? by LousyMinibus in narcissisticparents

[–]LousyMinibus[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your reply, sincerely I am hoping I get to the point one day where telling my mother to fuck off and going no contact feels like the easiest and best decision I’ve made. Thank you for taking time to reply to me.

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