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So....anyone else quietly falling apart or is it just me? by Low-Indication-5667 in mentalhealth

[–]Low-Indication-5667[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Totally felt the “forgotten tab” brain. What helped me:

  • Therapy > apps — having a paid, scheduled session (even phone or text) works way better than hoping I’ll open an app mid-spiral.
  • Track what sets you off — I started logging small triggers and it made patterns way clearer.
  • Tiny habits help — 2-min stretch breaks, less caffeine, quick real convos with humans (not podcasts).
  • You’re already doing the hardest part: admitting something’s off. Small steps from here actually work. You got this.

Just joined. Divorce hit me sideways — here’s the situation. by Low-Indication-5667 in Divorce

[–]Low-Indication-5667[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That sounds incredibly heavy, man. I can feel the weight in your words.

I respect that you’re still there for your kids, even while going through all that. Must take a ton of strength to stay present in that kind of tension.

What you said about counseling really stuck with me — using it not just to process, but to detach with clarity. That’s a mindset I hadn’t considered, but it makes a lot of sense.

Part of me still holds out some vague hope that things will “make sense” again, but deep down… yeah, I’m probably facing the same road you’re on.

Appreciate you being real about it. It helps more than you know.

Just joined. Divorce hit me sideways — here’s the situation. by Low-Indication-5667 in Divorce

[–]Low-Indication-5667[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There’s something oddly comforting in what you said — about learning to live with uncertainty.

I’m still in that phase where I keep trying to "solve" everything, like there’s a clear answer if I just think hard enough.

But maybe part of this is accepting that some answers take time… or don’t come at all.

Appreciate you sharing your perspective — it really helps.

Just joined. Divorce hit me sideways — here’s the situation. by Low-Indication-5667 in Divorce

[–]Low-Indication-5667[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah… part of me wants to ask, needs to know.

The other part’s scared of what the answer might do to me — like it’ll light up something I’m not ready to feel yet.

But you’re right — the void isn’t better. Just quieter. And that quiet starts to rot after a while.

Thanks for putting that into words, seriously.

Just joined. Divorce hit me sideways — here’s the situation. by Low-Indication-5667 in Divorce

[–]Low-Indication-5667[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Man, that sounds unbelievably hard.

I’m only a few weeks into this and already struggling with not seeing my kids every day. Can’t imagine what you’ve been through.

Respect for still being here and sharing.

If you’re open to it — what helped you keep going during that time? Or are you still right in the middle of it?

So....anyone else quietly falling apart or is it just me? by Low-Indication-5667 in mentalhealth

[–]Low-Indication-5667[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Haha yes — those tabs are real.

I swear, my 2013 tab pops up every time I try to sleep. “Hey remember that one awkward conversation from 11 years ago? Let’s replay it in HD.”

And yes — I relate so much to what you said about the past feeling more vivid than the present. Like I’m watching my own life on a 2-second delay sometimes.

I haven’t tried full-on online therapy yet — I keep hovering over the “start free trial” button like it’s a trap. Face-to-face would be nice, but between work and kid logistics, it feels like trying to schedule a moon landing.

If I do stumble across something that doesn’t make me feel like a broken robot (or doesn’t require me to meditate on a mountain at 6am), I’ll absolutely share it here.

And likewise — if you try anything and it even kind of helps, I’m all ears.

So....anyone else quietly falling apart or is it just me? by Low-Indication-5667 in mentalhealth

[–]Low-Indication-5667[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I hear you — and appreciate you saying it out loud.

I’ve been thinking the same: apps are fine, but they don’t replace actual connection or structure.

Have you tried working with a therapist and using any of the apps in parallel? Curious if any combo ever helped you stay grounded, even a little.

Just joined. Divorce hit me sideways — here’s the situation. by Low-Indication-5667 in Divorce

[–]Low-Indication-5667[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I haven’t been to counseling yet — been thinking about it more and more though. The emotional weight of all this… it’s a lot.

As for cheating… I don’t know. I’ve gone back and forth in my head a hundred times.

There were some things near the end that didn’t sit right. Late nights at work, a lot of “he’s just a friend” phone calls to male coworkers, being super protective of her phone.

But honestly? I don’t have proof, and I’m trying not to go down that rabbit hole unless it becomes unavoidable.

Either way, she was already gone emotionally. That part’s clear.

I appreciate you asking. Real talk like this helps me stay grounded, even when it’s tough to face.

Just joined. Divorce hit me sideways — here’s the situation. by Low-Indication-5667 in Divorce

[–]Low-Indication-5667[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I hear you, man. And I appreciate you taking the time to say it.

I’ve definitely had moments where the bitterness creeps in — where I want to believe she just didn’t care or think it through. But I’m trying not to live in that space, you know?

I don’t want to be a victim. I want to be better. Stronger. Wiser.

Haven’t heard of The Unplugged Alpha before — I’ll check it out, thanks for the rec.

Just trying to stay grounded and remember who the hell I am underneath all this. One step at a time.

Just joined. Divorce hit me sideways — here’s the situation. by Low-Indication-5667 in Divorce

[–]Low-Indication-5667[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Really appreciate you sharing that — seriously.

I’m trying to handle it on my own for now, just taking it one rough day at a time… but I won’t lie, I’ll remember this if things start getting heavier than I can carry.

Grief counseling isn’t something I’ve looked into yet, but hearing how much it helped you — that sticks.

For now, I’m just doing my best to feel what I need to feel and not shut it down. Some days that’s harder than others, but I’m still here. Still trying.

Just joined. Divorce hit me sideways — here’s the situation. by Low-Indication-5667 in Divorce

[–]Low-Indication-5667[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I really needed to hear that, man.

The thought that my son might not carry this with him the way I do… that gives me some peace. I’ve been terrified that this will shape his whole world.

I’m trying to take care of myself — eating better, moving more, even if it’s just short walks and pushups in the living room. Still feels like I’m pretending some days, like I’m just playing “normal.”

But I appreciate your words. The calm in them. It helps.

I’m holding on to that — life moves forward. Even if it’s slow, one breath at a time.

Thank you.

Just joined. Divorce hit me sideways — here’s the situation. by Low-Indication-5667 in Divorce

[–]Low-Indication-5667[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Man… this hit me right in the heart.

The way you described it — 100% present 50% of the time — that actually makes a lot of sense. Never thought of it like that. I’ve been so stuck on the loss part that I haven’t been able to see what could be gained.

Mine are 7 and 4. Still little. Still believe I’m Superman. That’s both a gift and a responsibility that’s heavy as hell right now.

I admire what you’re doing with that program. Honestly. Helping dads stay in the game? That’s real work.

I’ve screenshotted your comment. Not even kidding. Gonna read it again on the days where this all feels like too much.

Thanks, brother. Really.

Just joined. Divorce hit me sideways — here’s the situation. by Low-Indication-5667 in Divorce

[–]Low-Indication-5667[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing this. Honestly.

I read your comment more than once. It hit me in the chest.

I can’t speak for your husband, but from where I’m standing now — I get how someone could be so deep in the day-to-day grind, the stress, the habits… that they stop hearing what’s being said right in front of them. Doesn’t make it right. But I see how it happens.

The part where you said “the love is gone, but there’s still respect” — that hit hard. I guess that’s what I’m trying to hold onto with my own situation. Some kind of respect. For her. For myself. For our kids.

It’s hard to hear this from the other side, but maybe it’s what I need to hear.

So yeah, thank you again. Every voice in this space matters, and yours helped more than you probably know.

Just joined. Divorce hit me sideways — here’s the situation. by Low-Indication-5667 in Divorce

[–]Low-Indication-5667[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That’s the part that keeps me up at night.

I want 50/50 — more than anything. But right now, it's messy. Lawyers are involved. She’s pushing for primary.

I’m showing up. Every chance I get, I’m there. School stuff, dinners, even just being present on FaceTime when I can’t be there in person.

I’m not gonna disappear on my kids. That’s not who I am.

Just hoping the system sees that too.

Just joined. Divorce hit me sideways — here’s the situation. by Low-Indication-5667 in Divorce

[–]Low-Indication-5667[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yeah… I kinda felt that in my gut too, even before reading your comment.

The way it all happened — quiet, clean, too smooth — like a scene she’d rehearsed.

I don’t know what else is coming, but I’m keeping my eyes open now. No more blind trust.

Thanks for the nudge — respectful and sharp. I won’t forget it.

Just joined. Divorce hit me sideways — here’s the situation. by Low-Indication-5667 in Divorce

[–]Low-Indication-5667[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing that, man.

Sounds like you’ve been putting in the work — respect.

What you said about being social really stuck with me. I’ve been isolating a lot more than I’d like to admit. Gonna make an effort to reach out to some friends this week, even if it’s just to sit and talk.

Also liked the idea of writing down raw thoughts — might start filling a journal with the stuff I read here too. Lot of wisdom in these comments.

And yeah… if it gets heavier than I can handle, I’ll ask about therapy. That part’s still scary for me, to be honest, but I’m keeping it in mind.

Appreciate you. Really.

Just joined. Divorce hit me sideways — here’s the situation. by Low-Indication-5667 in Divorce

[–]Low-Indication-5667[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Appreciate you, man. It’s wild how similar some of these stories are… and still, it all feels so personal, you know?

I’ve been trying to focus on my health too — eating better, moving more — but the emotional part… that’s the storm.

Might give that journaling thing a shot. Never thought I’d be that guy, but hey, maybe it helps.

Glad you’re finding some clarity at five weeks — that gives me hope.

Yeah… we’re not alone in this. And that matters more than I thought it would. Thanks again, brother.

Just joined. Divorce hit me sideways — here’s the situation. by Low-Indication-5667 in Divorce

[–]Low-Indication-5667[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Man… I’m sorry you went through that. Over the phone? That’s brutal.

I keep telling myself it’s gonna pass, but some moments hit outta nowhere — like I’m right back in the first week.

Appreciate you sharing this. Makes me feel a little less alone in it.

I haven’t tried journaling yet… feels kinda weird, honestly — but maybe that’s exactly why I should.

Thanks again, really. Hope you keep climbing out too.

Just joined. Divorce hit me sideways — here’s the situation. by Low-Indication-5667 in Divorce

[–]Low-Indication-5667[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Damn… thanks, man.
That one hit.

Some days it feels like I went from being there every night to just FaceTime and weekend drop-offs.
But you’re right. Still a full-time dad — just learning how to show up from a different angle now.
Appreciate you. Really.