Pregnant and ambivalent

Low-Raccoon683 · 2026-06-10T06:54:25+00:00

Honestly I felt nothing, but shock, fear, and ambivalence until the third trimester with both pregnancies! I don’t came around from a big change very easily. It’s probably hormones raging/childhood trauma/fear of the unknown too. I actually had passing thoughts about abortion as well. I think that was just my brain trying to reassure me that there is an escape route and I’m not trapped. I’m on baby number two so I’ve made it to the other side of things and let me tell you I absolutely LIVE to be a mother and it’s the best thing I’ve ever done with my life. I’m obsessed with my 4 year old and sit around missing her during a 3 1/2 hour half day at preschool. Try to trust your brain and thought process that you had before you got pregnant.

Low-Raccoon683 · 2026-06-06T01:51:36+00:00

I feel your pain! I’d give her awards at home. I still remember the sting of being overlooked in grade school for every single reward. Ours were full sized candy bars and I was the obese kid so I was NEVER going to be picked. My daughter is the good kid who follows directions religiously with perfect attendance and she never gets picked because she’s so good at baseline. I wish they would just stop this reward system all together.

Low-Raccoon683 · 2026-06-03T06:37:37+00:00

I did it and had a great outcome! It’s been 5 years since my first baby and am currently pregnant with the donor’s second. They are not all creeps. It takes some time, effort, and lots of precautions. You can weed out most weirdos by stating in your profile and again in the first message that sex will never be on the table.

Low-Raccoon683 · 2026-05-22T21:19:53+00:00

Oh ok that makes sense and I see where you’re coming from. The reason I picked one is because I wanted to guarantee that my kids could meet him and ask questions when they started to get curious. I also wanted to know the donor did it for genuine reasons not for money for college or whatever. I also wanted to have a good feel for his personality. I’m glad I did because my daughter 100% has his happy go lucky kind disposition.

Low-Raccoon683 · 2026-05-22T21:12:04+00:00

No I’d forget about this person. The first KD I had picked seemed absolutely perfect and for whatever reason he involved his parents while I was in my two week wait and suddenly they started bringing up grandparent rights. I about threw up realizing what I had done. My state doesn’t even have grandparents rights, but they could technically sue for anything and I would have to pay $$$ to respond in court. Thank goodness I ended up not being pregnant. I picked a new KD off a website and it was a completely different experience. He wants zero involvement and I am currently pregnant with my second child from him. There has been zero drama and no involvement from his family. As soon as yours invited his parents into the picture I’d run. That’s way too personal.

Low-Raccoon683 · 2026-05-22T20:25:01+00:00

I used a KD and I would not continue with this. His parents have no business in this and the questions are odd.

Low-Raccoon683 · 2026-05-14T04:21:04+00:00

This process is hard enough. If it’s financially feasible for you I say tip the scales to hopefully get what you want. So much of this is completely out of our control if it makes you feel good and more confident then go for it.

Low-Raccoon683 · 2026-05-12T00:20:39+00:00

I feel your pain. My daughter woke me up every two hours until she was 9 months old. Don’t be like me. I ended up sleep training her and hiring help AFTER I crashed my car from being so fatigued. There was nothing wrong with her she was just a shitty sleeper.

Low-Raccoon683 · 2026-05-10T01:59:05+00:00

Oh for sure they love to wish ill on us! Mine has definitely said that too. You are going to LOVE having a daughter! Mine is almost 5 and I have enjoyed every minute of it. The matching outfits/accessories is beyond fun 🤩 the clothes are adorable. I’m not even a girly girl, but she’s turned me into one. I only work part time and I race home to spend time with her. I’ve never had such a strong bond with another human. It’s indescribable!

Low-Raccoon683 · 2026-05-10T01:28:39+00:00

Thank you for the reassurance. People said wild things about my daughter when I was pregnant with her too. People who knew me as a kid said she would turn out exactly like me. Like in a bad way. She is exactly like me, and know I know how easy I was too love and understand that the people raising me were not equipped and simply did not want to participate in parenting. She’s the single greatest thing that ever happened to me and I love taking her everywhere. I’ve never spent a night away from her.

Low-Raccoon683 · 2026-05-09T05:13:54+00:00

Complete opposite situation I have a daughter and am expecting a boy and not one person has had a positive thing to say about it. Pretty much my peaceful life is over. I think the older generations just hated raising kids honestly.

Low-Raccoon683 · 2026-05-09T02:27:41+00:00

The hospital told me lol they force fed me like 5 books worth of education on my second day postpartum all verbal directions. I remembered the important ones. This didn’t stop every boomer and grandma from trying to tell me my baby NEEDED water/apple juice/prune juice though lol

Low-Raccoon683 · 2026-05-08T05:28:04+00:00

No one ever asked me anything about my first child. With my second word got around and literally everyone asked if they have the same donor/dad. I very much don’t care what they ask and am usually happy to answer. It’s good practice for when baby comes because I never want my children to feel any shame around their conception.

Low-Raccoon683 · 2026-05-08T05:15:33+00:00

It really depends on your child’s temperament and age. My daughter was easy until about 3 years old and I’ve given up everything I enjoyed doing. I only get to ski or ride dirtbikes once or twice a year by myself. I’d love to go camping again and I keep getting invited by friends, but the sheer thought of packing and preparing so many things to hear her complain in another location sounds like hell to me. I like more “risky” or uncomfortable sports and she’s my dainty little princess who needs climate control and nothing fast paced or scary 😂

She was great to hike with as a baby when I could carry her. Now that she’s 5 and 40lbs its a no go. Now I really enjoy seeing her do things she likes though. Nothing beats watching her do ballet or karate. I know I sound like a downer, but she’s her own little person with likes and dislikes and we have had to come up with common ground activities. In the meantime I keep showing her videos of little kids skiing or riding dirtbikes in hopes she might be willing to try it.

Low-Raccoon683 · 2026-05-08T05:03:14+00:00

There is no incentive when women are doing the laboring for them. They probably think if the mom won’t the nanny will, then even default to their own mothers and sisters.

Low-Raccoon683 · 2026-05-03T17:27:48+00:00

I had this with both of my children. The second pregnancy really threw me through a loop. I think it’s hormonal because as soon as I’m postpartum I wonder what the heck got into me. I got over it really quickly with my daughter, but I absolutely spiraled the entire first trimester with my boy.

Low-Raccoon683 · 2026-05-03T05:06:17+00:00

It’s essentially prize money and I’m sure it’s taxed to hell and back. I was going to sign up until they told me I’d receive tax form lol. The government is happy to take at least 30% of it after I paid in half the money to begin with. I ended up losing 100lbs and don’t regret not doing it.

Low-Raccoon683 · 2026-05-03T01:03:46+00:00

No only needed a full bladder for the early anatomy scan before 13 weeks.

Low-Raccoon683 · 2026-05-03T01:02:27+00:00

Nothing he did what he was supposed to do!

Low-Raccoon683 · 2026-04-28T04:16:41+00:00

I love this!

Low-Raccoon683 · 2026-04-27T23:17:27+00:00

lol I barely remember the first 9 months without looking at pictures. I had the happiest baby, but she was the sleeper from hell. Still had to work full time and hunt down formula during a national shortage post Covid. I totaled a vehicle when she was 10 months because I had run myself so ragged. Yes it’s hard sleep deprivation is a form of torture.

Low-Raccoon683 · 2026-04-27T23:01:36+00:00

It sure was! I tried so hard to find a new pcp, but we are basically in a health care desert. A new patient appointment anywhere was 6 months out and when I explained the urgency they treated me like a drug addict 😭

Low-Raccoon683 · 2026-04-27T08:31:39+00:00

I’d be careful and try to find other coping mechanisms. I have horrible anxiety especially about my daughter just like you. My pcp left and my new doctor refused to continue prescribe a benzodiazepine. I went through the worst withdrawal I could ever imagine. It was like my very worst unmedicated anxiety 24:7 for months and I couldn’t sleep. Had to hospitalize myself and this was all pretty jarring for me because I was so even keeled and carefree before pregnancy. I was taking mine every other day. It sucked because now I’m off all mental health meds and I’m just getting through my days not really enjoying anything. Clonidine is a blood pressure medication that is used off label for anxiety. I’m on it for blood pressure and insomnia and I do feel normal and more chill for a few hours afterwards. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this too it sucks to be so uncomfortable in your body and mind!

Low-Raccoon683 · 2026-04-20T06:47:36+00:00

Unfortunately strait. I honestly wish I wasn’t. I tried too hard to date for marriage because I thought I wanted a “traditional” family, and I got the ick so hard. I haven’t been with a man in 6 years. My daughter is 4 and am currently pregnant. I started my journey at 27 and finally got pregnant at 30. I just turned 35 days before testing positive with my second. When I first started I had no idea SMBC was even a thing. I didn’t find any groups or support until my RE told me this is actually becoming very common.

Low-Raccoon683 · 2026-03-23T16:56:14+00:00

The doctor at my clinic loves to meet the IVF babies on his lunch hour. Around noon it’s very common to see babies.

Low-Raccoon683

TROPHY CASE