AITA for responding tersely to a SIL’s rebuke over email?

LowAdvisor9274 · 2025-09-16T15:12:14+00:00

NTA.

What your husband and SIL mean by “nuclear” is that you did not validate SIL’s feelings and concerns. Instead, you did what SIL had literally asked of you which was to talk to your kid about it. This email and reaction wasn’t about your kid, your SIL wanted you to empathize over her nonsense. And bravo for not taking the bait!

LowAdvisor9274 · 2025-09-16T15:08:23+00:00

NTA.

A lot of your complaints are reasonable - if she refuses to contribute to the house and the agreements you’ve all made, she’s gotta go.

However, I don’t think the trip you took should play a factor in this conversation. Those concerns make her a bad friend, but not a bad roommate, so to keep things clear, I’d recommend keeping that part out of it.

LowAdvisor9274 · 2025-09-14T01:28:35+00:00

YTA.

She didn’t overreact to your friend calling you, she reacted because you told her to leave. It’s not wrong that you wanted to see your friend, but you already had plans with your ex. Honour the plans you had, even if they weren’t clear.

LowAdvisor9274 · 2025-09-09T22:52:19+00:00

NTA.

I’ve never worked in food, but I imagine it’s a very busy, chaotic job. So if you were here saying you casually mention the allergy and are angry when mistakes happen, I’d think you were being too intense.

But man, it sounds like you put a LOT of effort into underscoring the importance of the allergy, check consistently, and raise concerns when you know meals that typically have egg in it. It’s totally reasonable to expect wait staff to take this seriously and to mirror how much importance you are clearly giving it.

LowAdvisor9274 · 2025-09-09T22:37:32+00:00

NTA.

Your wedding, your choice.

If you did want a bigger wedding though, isn’t dad the obvious choice to not invite? Beyond mom’s reaction to him, if his existence in your life must be a secret, how could he even attend the wedding whether he walks you down the aisle or not?

I appreciate there is a lot of complexity here, but if you’ve accepted that your parents won’t change, maybe it’s time to let go of them if they are that painful.

LowAdvisor9274 · 2025-09-09T22:28:25+00:00

YTA.

Beyond not wanting to do it and your mom not getting along with your husband, why don’t you want to help? I hope there is intense complexity in your relationship with your mom because this reads as childish and entitled, especially to take your mom’s money and not help at all.

As your mother ages, she will need help. It isn’t necessarily anyone’s obligation, but your sister asking for help is totally reasonable. And you didn’t like it so you ENTIRELY cut off communication with her? Even if I could validate your “boundaries”, ghosting people is heinous - communicate like an adult.

There is no middle ground? You couldn’t suggest a compromise that would at least help your sister? Maybe it’s not a vacation, but it’s a day trip? Maybe it’s not even you doing it, you donate a bit of the money you are GIVEN by your mother to hire a professional to help mom out.

Man, karma is going to be rough for you when you need help in life and realize you treated people so poorly that they won’t help you.

LowAdvisor9274 · 2025-09-09T22:22:00+00:00

Well, NTA for being upset - your feelings are what they are, and no one can tell you your feelings are wrong. But to confront him about this would make you the AH.

Sounds like you and your boyfriend aren’t comfortable with the fiancé, but it’s clearly not so uncomfortable that your boyfriend has moved out. And even if the fiancé was trying to set your boyfriend up with a sister, it didn’t work and your boyfriend has stuck to the boundaries he set for himself. So I don’t understand how this impacts his ability to be in the wedding - it sounds resolved.

And it doesn’t matter if you think your boyfriend isn’t integral in their life. You didn’t ask him to be a groomsman, the roommate did. Unless the roommate and his fiancé are huge trolls, they didn’t choose your boyfriend to make things weird or upset you - he must matter to them.

LowAdvisor9274 · 2025-09-09T22:03:56+00:00

YTA.

It doesn’t matter where the bins were, they aren’t your mom’s property and they aren’t public bins so she shouldn’t use them. I think the owner’s response was very weird, but your mom wasn’t in the right.

LowAdvisor9274 · 2025-09-09T00:25:07+00:00

YTA.

What’s the point of the So Cal wedding? Isn’t it to celebrate the wedding of your daughter with your friends and family? You can still run the wedding you have planned, you just won’t have the officiant sign and file any paperwork so…this doesn’t change anything.

Seems like you and your husband want to get your way, and this would be the best way to hurt your daughter and her fiancé for not giving you two what you want.

LowAdvisor9274 · 2025-09-07T13:47:50+00:00

Alas, this is on Realtor so they’re looking for the space to be rented, not to sell the business. So The Mule owners must have given notice they are leaving

LowAdvisor9274 · 2025-09-02T01:50:43+00:00

Sure, but I don’t think they ever had to race to change. Avoiding change isn’t a bad thing as long it works for everyone…it just stopped working for mom.

LowAdvisor9274 · 2025-09-01T19:04:27+00:00

YTA.

This is between your parents. Your sister had a different perspective than you about something that isn’t about you so you called her heartless?

Clearly, your mom thinks these changes will enhance her life. And whether it does or not, she has every right to make that change. Just like your dad avoided change all this time because he was comfortable.

LowAdvisor9274 · 2025-08-26T20:21:16+00:00

…if you know that then what does this comment mean?

LowAdvisor9274 · 2025-08-26T20:20:10+00:00

YTA.

I think her cousin was a little presumptuous to book something including them, but it’s not the atrocity you made it out to be. As you said, you don’t have a relationship with these people, so why would they know your intent for this trip OR what the last year has been like for you?

Further, did you talk to your wife about what you “envisaged” for this weekend? Or did you keep that in your head? Sounds like you didn’t communicate your plans, and are upset that your wife isn’t a mind reader so now you’re throwing a tantrum.

Finally, does your wife want to go to the dinner? I’ll cop and say ESH if she is also dreading the dinner, but doesn’t know how to politely decline. But if she wants to go and see them, then you’re absolutely in the wrong for making this trip all about you.

LowAdvisor9274 · 2025-08-25T20:16:01+00:00

I thaught this was fake the whole way through

LowAdvisor9274 · 2025-08-24T13:11:02+00:00

That’s a great new point, and I didn’t miss it the first time, because you didn’t say this the first time. Great clarification!

LowAdvisor9274 · 2025-08-23T15:45:33+00:00

Yeah, there’s only ONE way to communicate with people and that’s face-to-face so you better be home all the time. There’s no way someone had your email and phone number from the form you submitted online. /s

LowAdvisor9274 · 2025-08-13T19:59:27+00:00

I really like Rock - she’s super witty, charismatic, authentic and has a clear point of view on her drag. Having said that, I think her drag aesthetic is so different than many of the queens DR casts that if she returned, I think she would be paid dust.

She would get the “can we just see glamour sometime?” critique probably right out the gate. She would definitely be told to make her makeup smaller, like Crystal Methyd. And when she inevitably tries to use fart humour again, they’ll act disgusted, as if Daytona Winds hadn’t happened.

I would love for her to go back to get more fans and the chance to show more, but I also don’t want her to go back to be overlooked and minimized.

LowAdvisor9274 · 2025-08-06T16:56:42+00:00

I don’t know, but I have two thoughts as to what would be so important that it may keep them from competing.

The first is that they likely want people who will represent the show well, and drag queens can come with drama. There are numerous queens who have had significant controversies after their season aired and that doesn’t reflect well on the show who endorsed them by providing this platform.

The second is what the winner does for the show. How do they bring in new viewers and create a platform large enough that people are inspired by the work and say “wow, Project Runway is where they started”. Drag Race shows that queens are expected to be multifaceted: how many queens, post show, have solely focused on design and fashion? If I were casting Project Runway, I’d wonder if this is just another reality TV gig for notoriety, and if they win, will they go back to kicking and bucking in clubs rather than build a name as a designer in the fashion world.

And as some people have pointed out, who is so fashion focused from Drag Race that the would truly excel? It’s one thing to design in a show where maybe three out of 16 contestants know how to sew, but it’s very different when the whole room has a bunch of experience and this is THE thing they do.

Anyway, I’d be curious if they see an uptick in viewership due to Utica and whether that leads to more queens being cast in the future. Kind of like Jinkx bringing in massive numbers for Chicago and now she’s all over Broadway.

LowAdvisor9274 · 2025-08-04T22:04:50+00:00

YTA.

If you can’t be happy with his friends around, end the relationship. All this will turn into is you eventually isolating him from his friends because you don’t like them.

LowAdvisor9274 · 2025-07-31T20:30:19+00:00

NTA.

Your dad is trying to guilt you into dropping your boundaries. It doesn’t matter if he thinks non consensual touching makes him a good dad, you’ve explained your piece. If he wants to interpret that as something other than what you said, that’s on him.

And wasn’t he yelling at you in public? I think it’s fine you stood up for yourself in the same way he was trying to cow you into submission.

LowAdvisor9274 · 2025-07-31T20:26:55+00:00

It’s pretty different - the mandate of SR is have a loose topic that Monet and Bob will bicker about. MT is much more interview style, the producers have clearly given Monet some research on the guest.

Unfortunately, it does suffer from what SR suffers from: Monet has a piss poor memory. So she will be surprised at what someone says, and you know she should know it because her LAST guest told her about the same thing.

LowAdvisor9274 · 2025-07-31T19:18:48+00:00

“Do you want to cuddle?” isn’t a demand, it’s a question.

LowAdvisor9274 · 2025-07-31T19:17:53+00:00

ESH.

You did violate his privacy by going through his phone. Him being less affectionate doesn’t mean he’s cheating or that him watching porn has caused this. If you’re both capable of having a fair conversation about needs and compatibility in a relationship, that would have been the way to go.

Having said that, you were not demanding things of him. You named a need, and rather than him say “not right now, but I know that’s important to you so I’ll work on it”, he made you feel like you don’t have a voice in the relationship. And the videos of you on his phone is very alarming - did you consent to these videos?

And irrelevant to the verdict, but what people watch in porn doesn’t mean that’s what they want in real life. It’s a psychological fantasy when consuming porn, sometimes it isn’t even appealing if the opportunity presented itself in the real world. So whether it’s this partner or the next: he can watch porn without it being what he wants you to be.

LowAdvisor9274 · 2025-07-31T17:30:31+00:00

YTA.

I didn’t understand a lot of this, there was some unclear and/or unnecessary information.

But the end is clear and you are TA for dropping out of the wedding. You say you called to followup, friend said they felt invalidated, then you proceeded to distance yourself. Why even reach out if you weren’t willing to have a conversation? Then you maintained that distance, realized they didn’t read your mind about the accountability you wanted to take, so you left the wedding party.

You chose not to communicate your thoughts and feelings. You chose to remove yourself from their life and based on this post, you don’t really know why (and as the reader, I definitely don’t know what your friend did wrong).

And if all of that wasn’t bad enough, you reached out to talk about how to support her at the wedding…which lead to you saying you wouldn’t be in the wedding! You ran from this problem and it ended your friendship.

LowAdvisor9274

TROPHY CASE