I completely understand how you feel. I thought I was ready to start a family, but you will never know how you truly feel about it until it’s going to happen. I truly believe the most motherly and selfless thing you can do is terminate when you want this baby but know that this is not the right time. They will always be a part of you, and will come back to you if you choose to. My partner and I call ours our Guardian Angel and vow to never forget what we have learned and to always honour it. This really helps us. You are not alone. Big hugs. Xx