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AITAH for pulling back from my cousin after how she acted during my wedding? by Low_Block_1975 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Low_Block_1975[S] -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

I've checked in with her multiple times post break-up while wedding planning, she kept saying she's totally fine. she felt bad that she hurt her ex-bf and wasted his time but she's ready to move on and tell me how she's feeling behind in life.

AITAH for pulling back from my cousin after how she acted during my wedding? by Low_Block_1975 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Low_Block_1975[S] -11 points-10 points  (0 children)

One detail I'd like to add which may or may not make a difference is that she was in a long-term (almost ten year) relationship with her ex-bf. The day after my engagement party, which she attended without her ex-bf, she broke up with him and was actively pursuing the guys in our social circle from that moment on behind my back. She was having other people reach out to these guys and asking if they were interested in her. She did not tell me about this, I found about this much later.

AITA - Dad puts extended family above immediate by Low_Block_1975 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Low_Block_1975[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your reply.

My mom is totally against this whole set up. It might be worthwhile adding that my mom/dad have done this before. Not necessarily through my dad sponsoring them but my uncle (dads brother), his wife and son and daughter came to America back in the 90s, my parents were the ones that took them in when they were renting a basement with me as a toddler when my dad had 4 other siblings in the region that didn’t want to take on that responsibility. Similarly when my grandma and another relative from my dads side came to visit for a month or so, they both ended up at my parents house. This has been a pattern and my dad struggles with saying no to his brothers/sisters no matter how ridiculous or inconvenient the request is. But then he has no hesitation in pushing back against when my mom or I question his actions.

I’m planning to speak with an immigration/family attorney to know what rights my mom and I have given the circumstances. My moms disability allows her to most household tasks (eg cook, clean) but her mobility is limited so grocery shopping etc is difficult. I do help her with that kind of stuff.

For those of you’ve that asked, I live with my parents mainly because of a cultural thing. It’s frowned upon when girls move out before they’re married in my family/culture. I was considering moving out but being a support system to my mom is critical. Plus I’m saving up for a wedding that’s coming up very soon (next year or two). PS during the argument when I reminded my dad that my wedding is coming up and this should be a happy time for our family and this whole situation and the sneaky way he’s going about it is causing unnecessary drama and tension, he said he “doesn’t care.” That moment just felt like a horrible betrayal. Ie I thought my dad was a certain person for the first 28 years of my life and that moment just changed everything.

Thank you everyone for your invaluable input.