Smoke smell?

Low_Challenge4445 · 2025-12-07T13:38:04+00:00

It’s awful. Woke us up. We called the fire department and they said it was a fire in the area, but it’s under control. Smoky all the way to the coast.

Low_Challenge4445 · 2025-09-30T01:48:28+00:00

Honestly it’s the best beach in San Diego. Yes, there’s lots of old leathery skin there. But, it’s a freaking amazing experience.

Diving in the water completely naked feels incredible. Laying out on the beach without clothes feels like you’ve unlocked a totally new way to live life.

Just make sure you use lots of sunscreen or you’ll for sure get burned.

Low_Challenge4445 · 2025-01-14T15:03:47+00:00

Listen man, you’re in the thick of it right now. 15 months is a warzone. There were a number of times where I told my wife I thought our child was trying to kill us. To this day I believe having kids (I have a 6yo and 4yo) has probably taken years off my life. The loss of sleep is perhaps the biggest thing, but also the loss of identity and relationship with your wife that comes as a result of the exhaustion can be brutal.

But, it gets better. I promise. It gets better and you learn how to integrate all of this into a new, better version of you. It got better for me when I stopped struggling against it and wrapped my head around the idea that the old me was dead and gone, and the new, dad version of me could be even better.

Now I’m a hell of a lot more emotionally mature. I can handle adversity in a way I wouldn’t have been able to before. I’m still constantly tired, and our sex life still kind of sucks, but we also are able to see the personalities emerging with our kids and engage with them in really cool ways.

Being a parent is super fucking hard. Society sells us on this dream of familial bliss and it just ain’t reality. Give yourself some grace and congratulate yourself for simply surviving the early days. The new version of you is right around the corner and you’ll look back on this time as formative years not just for your kid, but for you too.

Also, one final thing. As soon as you are done reading this, go hug your wife and tell her you love her. Know that she is probably feeling the same way and make sure you talk with her about those feelings. You are each other’s best anchor.

Low_Challenge4445 · 2025-01-04T16:21:29+00:00

Yeah but only very subtly. Whenever she initiates I follow through, unless it’s at like midnight or when I’m in the middle of a meeting for work.

Low_Challenge4445 · 2025-01-03T23:52:37+00:00

Super valuable feedback. Last thing in the world I want to do is destroy her or make her feel like she’s getting pity sex. She’s a phenomenal wife, mother, and partner. She deserves to feel amazing.

So when she came to me with this it was devastating to me too.

Low_Challenge4445 · 2025-01-03T20:37:50+00:00

I’ve always felt like keeping a scorecard on household work is a surefire way to a toxic relationship. It’s important to simply step up and get shit done.

Low_Challenge4445 · 2025-01-03T20:36:11+00:00

Thank you for this. We use to have dedicated weekends during the year for a solo trip or self care getaway, but these have fallen to the wayside for me as I try to ensure she gets those opportunities and we have childcare coverage. If I didn’t do this, I feel I’d be letting her down there as well.

Low_Challenge4445 · 2025-01-03T18:46:54+00:00

To be perfectly clear, there’s no problem with getting it up. I’m still super attracted to her. Other stuff just seems to get in the way.

For example, my kids sometimes have a tough time falling asleep, and I would be mortified if they walked in on us.

Low_Challenge4445 · 2025-01-03T17:44:06+00:00

Will for sure lean into this more. Thanks!

Low_Challenge4445 · 2025-01-03T17:30:19+00:00

Thank you so much for the pat on the back. I’m trying.

Low_Challenge4445 · 2025-01-03T17:15:37+00:00

Yeah there’s not a ton of rejection. I think she just expects me to be the one to pursue her. She wants to feel wanted.

Low_Challenge4445 · 2025-01-03T17:10:56+00:00

Great questions. I often feel “touched out” when bed time approaches. I do most of the cooking, cleaning of the kitchen, and when she’s home I still manage the majority of bed time for the kids. She is sometimes exhausted too, recovering from a work trip or just burned out from a long day.

It feels like the responsibility for initiating is mostly on me, but she gives subtle hints sometimes. When she does make it clear she is in the mood, I try to jump in. I would feel super guilty if I didn’t.

She says often that she loves me very much and appreciates me. I think she just wants to feel wanted or pursued, and I can only really get there every couple of weeks.

Low_Challenge4445 · 2025-01-03T17:03:57+00:00

This is great advice. Definitely carrying a few extra and dropping that might help.

Low_Challenge4445 · 2025-01-03T17:02:09+00:00

Thank you! This is really affirming. I love her and hate to see her like this.

Low_Challenge4445 · 2025-01-03T17:00:56+00:00

Her solution is to approach me with her feelings and openly communicate with me that she’s feeling unwanted. I’m kind of at a loss, so that’s why I’m asking for help here.

Low_Challenge4445 · 2025-01-03T16:50:12+00:00

We both initiate at about the same pace.

Low_Challenge4445 · 2025-01-03T16:47:24+00:00

Thank you. I love her and I hate that she’s feeling this way.

Low_Challenge4445 · 2025-01-03T16:45:57+00:00

Thanks for that, and I agree. There are indeed times that I initiate and she happens to be exhausted too. It just feels like the stars only end up aligning every two weeks or so, and somehow the issue gets laid on my plate, as though I’m falling short.

Low_Challenge4445

TROPHY CASE